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Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Primary education

If your dc is in a private primary (pre prep) are all the parents really posh?

32 replies

lenalegs · 14/10/2009 20:02

Are you?

I am not, I am more of your Primarni girl. I am a bit concerned that all of the parents are my dc's new school are going to be terribly groomed and a bit scareymary

Can anybody reassure me?

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Elk · 14/10/2009 20:16

No the parents are not really posh. They do however whinge alot about things that are really not important in the general scheme of things. e.g. my particular favourite was worrying how they would manage when they lost their cleaner and they didn't even have a large house and didn't work!!!!

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lenalegs · 14/10/2009 20:19

Sounds pretty harmless.

Silly to be worried it's not like it's Eton or anything.

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CMOTdibbler · 14/10/2009 20:21

DS will be going to preprep next September, and I'm not posh or v groomed. At one of the open days we went to, I noted that the mums were a bit Bodentastic, but not more than that really

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lonelyoldmadmoodluminchat · 14/10/2009 20:23

There are scary marys, in our case, gym bunnies dripping in diamonds, but equally, there are some nice people who can be straightforward and not bree van der camp esque

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BuckRogers · 14/10/2009 20:23

No more posh than at my local state primary.

But can I just say, this is not a great thread to start for a number of reasons. Firstly, it's contentious. It's also of no real use to you as it will vary tremendously from school to school and area to area.

Also, why did you choose a school with which you didn't feel comfortable?

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Hulababy · 14/10/2009 20:24

No I am not; not not all the parents are.

Ours are very mixed and, most importantly, normal. They are also friendly and sociable, no scary playground nightmares to endure, no Boden school run dress wars to worry over, etc.

Some are very well off, some are going without lots to pay the fees. The rest are in the middle

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MarshaBrady · 14/10/2009 20:29

Generally the women at ds' pre-prep look great. Not like the pic but dress in great clothes, more style. It is a nice thing, feel like I have been in a style vacuum for five years.

They are not overly posh, some are and some aren't. They are all really very nice and friendly, it is a particularly nuturing small school.

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LIZS · 14/10/2009 20:31

Huge variation at ours and some of those who are "posh" have the trappings but not the class iyswim !

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pagwatch · 14/10/2009 20:34

Mine are not.
I would say most are average , broadly middle class types.
But I am not sure if you mean people who are obviously waelthy or people who are posh?

The local sought after primary has as large a selection of well off parents. Where we are you have to be as wealthy to move into catchment as some are living on the bus routes for DDs pre-prep.
Our pre-prep does not seem to have any parents who are really on a tight budget though but Ds1's school has a selection of scholarship boys who he knows and who are from very working class backgrounds - just like me .
I have met wealthy landed gentry types at all the schools but they are not the norm. Neither are the flash gauche rich types.

The notion that pre preps are all some kind of Malory Towers brigadoon is nonsense. I know there are preps like that but my dcs have attended three between them and they were mostly pretty average people - probably on the boring side really - teachers, solicitors, shop owners, accountants etc.

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lenalegs · 14/10/2009 20:40

I am not trying to start a fight.

The schooling is a transfer, we had to do it this way as the school with places are dire. My dd is on a waiting list of a good local school but we may have to wait a couple of years before she gets in. I don't dislike the prep school at all. We love the head and the children and the school I do not know what to expect with regards to the parents.

I don't wnat to let my children down.

I am friendly and I make an effort with my appearance.

I am just nervous.

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pagwatch · 14/10/2009 20:44

if you like the head and the children then you will probably find you like the parents too. They have all created that enviroment.

And every other parent is nervous at every other school. We all just want it to be OK for our children. Being posh and having a bit of cash does not make these things any different.
They may just look more at ease.

You'll be fine

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jelliebelly · 14/10/2009 20:48

If you like the general feel of the school then you will be OK. Ds started pre-prep this year and most of the parents that I have met have been as normal as me . Obviously you will come across a mix of people in any social environment and school is no exception, be it state or private.

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pointyhat · 14/10/2009 20:49

define posh

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lenalegs · 14/10/2009 20:50

I am an inverted snob obviously!

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lupo · 14/10/2009 21:43

Nice down to earth mums who are quite smartly dressed though ..also lots of 4x4 in car park driven by mums who cant really park..but then I am not great at parking either...

No one shouting, swearing or smoking in the playground either ..

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vvvodka · 14/10/2009 21:47

they will be perfectly normal mix of people.

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Litchick · 14/10/2009 21:54

Christ no.
At my DCs school we are strictly fleece and trackie bums in the morning brigade. By pick up we may have washed our hair and pulled on some jeans.
Today at matches we wore an interesting mixture of waterproofs, unflattering puffers and wellies.

That said, at parents evening tis Boden central...except for the footballers/rugby wives who Versace it up.

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lenalegs · 14/10/2009 21:57

Ha-ha Versace it up!

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Litchick · 14/10/2009 22:09

Not me I hasten to add. Am strictly an Asda v neck kind of girl.

I think you might be pleasantly surprised by the mixture of folk at indie school. I had very mixed feelings when we signed on the dotted line but have been consistently pleased by the school and consistently challenged in my preconceptions.

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deste · 14/10/2009 22:38

At my childrens private school it was the ones who always had money who were the nicest. There was a mix at the school. You just have to be confident around people.

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Elibean · 15/10/2009 09:21

dd not at indie, but I was and lots of dd's friends are: they vary hugely. One indie near us is pretty down to earth, big mix of parents in terms of poshness, nationality, and everything else. You could find the ones you feel good with, like at any other school.

Then again, another one near us apparently has mad fashionista competitions at pick up (even the nannies dress up for it), contingent of insane snobs, etc. Though there are some very nice and down to earth parents there, too (I know a couple).

I suspect you can guess a bit from the feel you got when you looked round!

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ICANDOTHAT · 15/10/2009 09:27

Not posh, just snobby. (saw one mum drop off in her pj's ). They are painfully competitive and moan constantly about irrelevant stuff. A case of, "If I'm paying for it, I'll demand it and be on your case all the time". What they need to do is trust the school to make the right choices for their child - that's why they sent them there in the first place, wasn't it??. I rarely interfered with my sons prep and have hardly stepped through the door now he's at an independent senior. Oh and by the way, I'm a stealth snob.

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crokky · 15/10/2009 09:29

There are a lot of private schools where I live. My DS goes to the nursery section of one. Anyway, I dress in supermarket clothes, tracksuits mainly and it's fine. I drive a skoda as well . There are some who come looking really nice etc in expensive clothes, but they are nice people and they still speak to me, even though they are much posher than me. I wouldn't worry. The teachers are much more interested in whether you drop and pick up your child on time and take an interest in their education, not the car you drive or the clothes you wear. Some of the people at private schools are just rolling in money, some are working in jobs where they earn alot and put in a lot of hours and some are scrimping on stuff to put their DC in the school - quite a mixture of people. Our area does have quite a problem with state education and it has been going on at least 30 years.

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Soma · 15/10/2009 11:03

Hello there,

My five year old goes to a small girls' prep school in North London and the parents are a mixed bag. All the parents in our class get on really well and many have become friends. What do you mean by 'posh'?

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Carrotfly · 15/10/2009 11:13

It varies hugely.

My DD went to a very very posh pre prep (by my standards anyway). I wouldnt say many of them were particularly well groomed, landed gentry dont seem to bother with all that too much. Definitely old money types.

It was a bit too much for me. It was too cliqey, sons following in fathers footsteps, anyway we moved areas and the kids go to prep schools which definitely have a very eclectic mix of parents.

Posh means different things to different people. I dont consider myself posh, but I'm sure a lot of MN on here would disagree.