others in reception that cant read or write?

(40 Posts)
fernie3 Wed 30-Sep-09 20:40:30

I have been browsing the posts on here this evening and now I have this awful feeling that my child is the one people keep accusing of holding the class back!.

she can recognize her name and a few individual letters but nothing else - and I have never even heard of any sort of coloured books (?!?!).

She counts to ten but gets confused after about 13.

She is very social, can dress undress etc.

She is one of the oldest as well she is already five!

she is loving reception and seems very happy but now I feel like I have done something awfully wrong that shes not reading and writing etc!

please tell me shes not the only one??


LynetteScavo Wed 30-Sep-09 20:42:52


You are not the only one.

Your DD sounds perfectly normal, with lots of potential! smile

KittyWalker Wed 30-Sep-09 20:42:59

No no no, DS cannot read. Can recognise some of his letters - especially those very relevant to him like his initial, his sisters initial etc

He can count to about the same as your DD but calls letters numbers numbers letters hmm

He can undress with prompting but like your DD is loving reception. The only difference is he is just 4! Not 5 until the summer.

beautifulgirls Wed 30-Sep-09 20:44:25

Sounds just where my DD (also just turned 5 and started reception) is right now. There are plenty of children like this at this stage! Given another couple of years and those "behind" may not be at the back any longer. Help her enjoy her reception time by playing with her and making learning fun as you go.

cory Wed 30-Sep-09 20:44:56

Neither of mine could read in Reception: homework mainly consisted of one or other of them staring at the ceiling or the floor or anywhere other than the book. They have learnt since. smile

none of my 3 dcs could read or write when they started reception, orcount much, they now have they have 12 a levels between them.
Lots of As too!
matters not a jot.
chillax as dds would say- let her enjoy herself. smile

Mamazon Wed 30-Sep-09 20:45:06

DD is also 5 and has started reception this year.
She cannot even wrote her own name and has no idea about letters or anything.

every morning the children come into the class and are to write their names on little white boards. DD is the only one that is still unable to manage it.

I am starting to worry that everyone else seems to be "getting" it but her.

All she seems interested in is rushing off to play with the dollies and home corner.
I have bought those practice at home nbooks and we have sat for ages ebncouraging her to practice writtng letters out but she just doesn't. she has no interest at all.

EldonAve Wed 30-Sep-09 20:45:38

no reading here
will attempt writing
can recognise letters but then his preschool did phonics with them before

ProfYaffle Wed 30-Sep-09 20:47:01

dd1 was the same this time last year, she was 4.5, could recognise her own name and 'Tesco' blush knew quite a lot of letters from nursery though. She wasn't blending words til after Christmas and seemed to be about normal for her class/expected attainment.

KittyWalker Wed 30-Sep-09 20:47:08

DS would not be able to write his name! He has to select his name from a list of names which he can do but write it - absolutely not.

Hulababy Wed 30-Sep-09 20:48:53

I have children in my Y1 class who cannot read or write. There are definitely plenty of children in Reception who haven;t yet acquired these skills either. Infact, regardless of the skewed view MN gives, IME most children start reception unable to read and/or write. Some can to varying degrees, and others simply can't at all.

Don't worry. The social skills at this stage are by far the best ones they need.

MrsMonkfishToYou Wed 30-Sep-09 20:49:05

My DD is in year 1 and is a summer baby. She started reception not being able to dress/undress herself. She couldn't read and could just about write her name.

You will be amazed how much your DD will learn during the year. Please don't worry.

phew I thought my ds was the only one sad
All his friends seem to be able to recite the entire alphabet, spell their names, write their names, and can read certain words.

They're only four years old ffs!

roundabout1 Wed 30-Sep-09 20:53:22

my dd was 4 in Aug, she can write her name & to from writing cards etc but doesn't know any of the letters apart from those in her name. She can count up to 10 & knows the bigger numbers but not in the right order. Her number recognition isn't very good after 5. I wouldn't worry, they will get there when they are ready, my dd's school hasn't really started doing "work" yet. They talk about shapes & numbers but no proper homework or reading book, just one that dd chooses from the library.

Mamazon Wed 30-Sep-09 20:53:25

DSD is 5 months older than DD and is so much more advanced academically it does worry me.

They are only expected to copy their names from a printed laminated card so that the learn to form the letters and of course recognise their names. but she just cannot do it.

Her pre school had a policy of not teaching, and just allowing the children to "learn through play" DS has Sn and i was gratefull ofthis approach after he was pushed so badly at his pre school. i am now regretting not choosing somehwere a little more academically minded.

but that said, i have tried activities with her at home adn she just doesn't seem interested at all. its almost as though she simply isn't ready to learn

paddingtonbear1 Wed 30-Sep-09 20:53:59

my dd couldn't read or write in reception. She could count a bit but didn't know any letters. She just had no interest at all - getting her to do the homework was a constant battle! She was only interested in playing at that stage - and largely still is at 6!

NotSoRampantRabbit Wed 30-Sep-09 20:54:10

DS is 4.3 and only knows a few letters (and not reliably), can't write name, can count to 10 then gets wobbly, and calls letters numbers and vice versa.

He is having fun though and has picked up the letters 's' and 'a' this week alone so I figure he's getting going.

I don't push it at home as he has never shown interest before and is too tired after school.

Have discovered that it is possible for me to feel initimidated by 4 year olds.


dilbertina Wed 30-Sep-09 20:57:07

My dd is just yr1 now, and can read and write to a perfectly adequate standard. She couldn't read or write at all at start of reception, other than her name (sort of!). Don't worry, this is what reception is for. At the school she did reception at they did a pre-start parent evening where they stressed the most important thing was the skills your dd already has - dressing, toilet unaided, positive attitude etc. Sounds like you've prepared her perfectly to me - and if she's enjoying it there really is nothing to worry about.

paddingtonbear1 Wed 30-Sep-09 20:57:58

Mamazon, dd was exactly the same as yours at 5. She just wasn't interested. Her nursery was also mainly play based. Now she's 6 we still have battles, she prefers playing and her concentration at school is poor. She is getting more interested in reading although her real forte is creative things like art.
I do think they push them too hard, too young in the UK - some kids are ready yes but a lot aren't.

tobago04 Wed 30-Sep-09 21:00:06

Thought reading and writing was what they went to school forhmm
I would'nt be worried,dd can write her name,and has learnt to read the words,i,a,can,play,mum and dog this week[homework from school] I'm well impressedgrin

planejane Wed 30-Sep-09 21:02:19

My ds was one of only 3 in the class that knew most of the letter sounds when he started in reception. Not saying that in a boasty way, just to say your dc will be in the majority and also that, probably as a result of reading threads on MN, had been expecting my ds to be maybe middle-bottom of the class as he couldn't read at all, so was very (pleasantly) surprised to find he was top of the class!!

3rdnparty Wed 30-Sep-09 21:02:50

ds is 4.5 - is quite good on letters but not really interested in reading - likes being read to - and nowhere near writing - as far as I can tell has not picked up a pencil/felt tip pen or even paint brush since starting reception but is really enjoying it - there seems to be a real mix of knowledge in his class - not related to age either - trying to not let myself be bothered about it smile

4ever21 Wed 30-Sep-09 21:11:56

to be honest, reception is not all about reading and writing. A lot of kids really start off not even recognizing their own names. Reception year is a bridge btw nursery and primary school.The emphasis is really on a lot of social maturity, sharing, listening skills etc.

I wouldn't worry too much at this stage. my ds is in year one now, and lots of kids that couldn't even count to ten are now reading well.

try not to worry so much, just support her as much as you can without putting pressure on her. I made the mistake of putting too much pressure on my ds back then and he just went off it all together.

let her enjoy reception cos truly once she gets to year one, and you have lots of homework to do and lots of reading books to go through, you'll miss the 'play' in reception!

katiestar Thu 01-Oct-09 09:33:07

I have a friend whose DS only knew 'a' and 's' at the start of reception and by the end was one of the best readers in a very able class reading purple books which for those that don't know i think equate to 2b the standard expected at the end of Y2.

singersgirl Thu 01-Oct-09 10:10:40

Don't rely on Mumsnet for an idea of what most children are doing when they start school. Most children can't read or write in any meaningful way. Lots of children don't know any letters at all; lots more know some letters and can write their names; a few know all their letters and can read a write a bit; a very few more can read and write relatively well.

I guess people tend to post about extremes of one kind or another - either 'my child can read fluently; will they be bored?' or 'my child is really struggling with x/y/z'. As a result the responses will be skewed, with lots of parents whose children could also read (or were struggling) coming on to support or offer advice.

Reading Mumsnet too much will make you panic completely unnecessarily about your child's progress.

Your daughter sounds absolutely fine. Social and practical skills are by far the most useful at this stage, and she'll learn to read and write at school.

MsDav Thu 01-Oct-09 11:00:53

My late summer born DS, now in Yr2 Couldn't read or write when he started reception. By the end he was on the top reading table. He isn't so good at maths still and his handwriting even now is fairly illegible with many reversals most of the time but I'm not stressing it, it will come... I hope!

mussyhillmum Thu 01-Oct-09 11:14:10

My DS started reception not being able to read or write. He really struggled with phonics too! Last year he did his year 2 SATS and achieved the highest level in all subjects. He is in the top reading group and HOOVERS UP books at home! Please believe me that your child's academic future is not set in stone when they start Reception. Many of those children who struggled academically in reception (like my DS) will be streets ahead of their seemingly more able peers in a few years time.

katalex Thu 01-Oct-09 12:20:43

You are definitely not the only one. My dd (4.6 yrs) has just started reception and she can't read or write. Last Christmas I was surprised that most of her pre-school friends wrote their own names on her Christmas cards, so I felt the same way as you even though she was only 3. She still has no interest in writing her name and I have never pushed her to do it. In the last 2 weeks of reception she has learnt the sounds for the letters a, s and t and has learnt to write the letter a. She has brought 2 ORT books home so far and neither of them have words in them so I guess the school want to start with the basics and don't expect anything from them yet.

AtheneNoctua Thu 01-Oct-09 13:09:56

DS is 4.4. He can most certainly not read. He will recognise his name and numbers up to 20. He know some letters and their sounds. He can not write his name. His fine motor skills are a bit behind (because he is a very flexible boy, which means he has longer ligaments then most and so is what some people would call loose jointed). I don't really care. If he can wrte his name at the end of reception and learn all the letters and their sounds that's enoug for me. He does love books and I'm sure it will all fall into place in the next year or two. It is his motor skills and not his brain development which needs to catch up.

Needless to say we have not yet embarked on the footie club because his little legs are also not particularly coordinated. Poor chap.

katiestar Thu 01-Oct-09 14:59:54

Don't you think that writing their name is a very unfair goal ? I mean Sam Wood has a massive advantage over Christopher Haythornthwaite.

Neither of my elder dc could read or write in reception, and they were both among the eldest in their year. Ds1 could write his (very short) first name, and they could both recognise their (very long) surname. Reading 'clicked' for ds1 in the summer hols, and he returned to school reading 'proper' books. For dd reading clicked in the second half of Y1, and within a couple of months she was also capable of reading 'proper' books.

I don't think there's anything wrong with your dd, and I don't think she's holding anyone back either.

fernie3 Thu 01-Oct-09 20:29:36

Im so glad she isnt the only one!
I was so pleased with how she was doing before and was really surprised to read about other children reading and writing etc!

I will go back to enjoying her drawings and her lovely pasta bracelets!


Builde Fri 02-Oct-09 10:32:43

My dd went into reception being able to write nothing.

She is now year 1, can do joined up and has almost finished the reading scheme. So, don't worry - no reception teachers expect children to be able to read and write before the age of 4.

MmeGoblindt Fri 02-Oct-09 10:39:04

Don't panic.

DD started school last year, aged 6yo and is now reading and writing at age 7yo.

We are in Switzerland and they start formal schooling later here.

From what I have seen, the children who learn later seem to pick it up faster and go straight on to reading proper books.

DS is 5yo and can count to 14 (in French, not sure if he can in English) and can right his name and MAMA. Zats it.

stepaway Fri 02-Oct-09 10:42:16

DS1 started reception being able to do the same sorts of things as your DD. There were lots of other like him and some (not many) who could already read and write. It's absolutely not a problem and great that is happy there.

stepaway Fri 02-Oct-09 10:42:36

sorry - great that SHE is happy there.

foxinsocks Fri 02-Oct-09 10:44:02

she's happy! Sounds great!

and honestly, are people accusing children of holding a reception class back? surely you are kidding me.

(and my dd didn't/wouldn't write till v late - she was about 7 I think)

BrigitBigKnickers Fri 02-Oct-09 10:46:43

My DD was 5 the day before she started reception. She certainly couldn't read 6 weeks into the term. Like your DD, she was very independent with dressing and had great social skills. (It's these skills that all reception teacher really needs for you to have fostered when they start school.)

Some of her class mates could read and write before they went to school. By the end of year 2 she was on par with them and now in year 6 she has overtaken many of them and is achieving very highly.

Stop fretting!

My dd can write her name - in the diagonal and with capital letter often back to front!

She has had her baseline assessment thingies and 'passed with flying colours' so I wouldn't worry at all. School do not need them reading and writing, they are planning on teaching them. They will expect massive range and are geared up to give appropriate taks accross the board.

Maybe it's better to have her happy, able to do her basic 'cares' like buttons etc, than be able to read but mega stressed about how to handle toilet time. It's swings nad roundabout.

I used to love making pasta pictures smile <<nostalgia>>

FimbleHobbs Fri 02-Oct-09 10:48:31

Teaching children how to read and write - that's school's job (with parental support).

I didn't teach my son anything academic before he started school (though he did bits at preschool without realising it).

Your daughter sounds lovely and she'll do it in her own good time.

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