School and post-viral fatigue

[Jux]

DD is 9. This is my original thread here.

Synopsis: dd has pvf, and our doctor wanted a 'graded return' to school, he suggested mornings only for a week and then afternoons only for a week. If she hadn't recovered by then we were to return to the surgery and he would do blood tests. The school agreed and we sent her in on Friday morning.

Now, since Monday they have been pushing me into getting her back to full time immediately. I capitulated yesterday, but was not at all happy with how tired she was and how hard it was to get her up this morning.

DH took her to school this morning and had a word with her teacher to get her back to half days, which the school has agreed to, but they've asked for a note from the doctor. Is this normal for a school?

When her teacher talks to me, I always feel like he's thinking I'm just a silly woman with raging PFB syndrome. DH said he felt like he was just an aging hippy who doesn't value education (definitely not true).

We've got an appointment with another doc today (ours is away this week) to get the note.

I am really sad, because we had such a good relationship with her last teacher and the school right up to this year. These year 5 teachers are a very different stamp and both seem to be quite sarcastic and patronising. One of them asked dd if she was going to grace them with her full presence - very loaded, but luckily dd thought he was being funny.

Any advice or elucidation?

[cory]

Get a doctor's note and stick to your guns!!! I have given in weakly to the school before now and I have done harm! Never again! If the doctor says it, that's what you're going to do.

Dd's headteacher was exactly like this: made me feel as if the whole problem was that I had no interest in education (I have spent my life as a researching academic!); yet, we had letters from the school nurse, the GP and the consultant paediatrician.

Just don't give in! Take the initiative, ring Education Welfare yourself instead of letting the school threaten you with it.

[Jux]

What's education welfare?

We have the P/T mtgs this week - ours is this afternoon, by which time we'll have seen the doc, got the note, got further advice etc. and I can chuck it all at him.

DD's teacher is new - just qualified so I assume he's being led by the other y5 teacher who is terribly gung-ho and looks down on us tremendously. Maybe it's because they're (hush) men? She's never had male teachers before - do we have to approach things in a different way? I hate to think this is a sex thing, but I don't understand why the attitude has changed so enormously.

Perhaps it's because they're all so incredibly sporty and we're not even remotely so. DH is a musician, and I'm an arty-farty/science type - more interested in the brain than the body?

[cory]

I don't think it's a man thing: dd had some lovely sympathetic and understanding teachers.

And probably not about your personalities either.

It's more likely to be about him being inexperienced and insecure, so he thinks he's got to put his foot down if he sees a possible truancy issue. You have got to repeat that it is a medical issue and shove that doctor's letter under his nose. Then ask for a meeting with the head.

(Education Welfare are the people who are in charge of dealing with truancy. Our charming headteacher used them as a threat to dangle over our heads- until I rang the office and explained to them myself. If he hasn't mentioned them, then just forget about them).

[Jux]

Thank you Cory.

that they could think it's a truancy issue. Why don't they say so then? Idiots. My estimation of their faculties are going down down down. I thought we had a better relationship than that. FGS I go down and pick her up every day. Oh for heaven's sake, why on earth

Oh forget it. Twits. The doc's letter will clear it up. I hope. Off to finish my little rant in the kitchen.

[cory]

OH, they may not be thinking that, Jux: they may be worried about their statistics, though. Remember they get Ofsteded and their grades depend on things like attendance rate. So be kind but firm with them. Yes, it's an inconvenience- but illness is an inconvenience.

[Jux]

Well, we had the appointment with the doc who mentioned glandular fever as there had been some, very slight, indication of it before Xmas so they'll be taking blood tomorrow morning, so she'll have to have MORE time off school! And to think, this wouldn't have been done until at least next week, if they hadn't asked for a letter...

Actually, I'm bloody furious. When we have our meeting this afternoon, fur will fly unless he's very very careful. And as for his sarky colleague, I shall have a quiet word with him too.

Oh to be a mother scorned! I might actually enjoy myself today.