Ds in yr1 been told that he is not supposed to go to toilet in the lesson....

[EggheadHilary]

which he obviously avoids if he can as the punishment is to (according to my son) have his name put on a wipe board that is on the wall.

Admittedly my son is a last minute boy and therefore cannot hold his wee in when asked as he has already held it in

They are encouraged to drink lots of water in the day but then seem to be expected to only go to the toilet at certain times.

I understand the frustration of a teacher who is trying to teach and the child takes time out to go to the toilet but is it necessary to put their name on display?????

The toilets themselves are not a nice place to spend any time, the windows seem to be open in all weather including Monday when it was -5 so it is not a nice place to escape to.

Anyone else had anything similar or can you shed some light on the name and shame thing?

Thanks.

[bigTillyMint]

Name and shame sounds a bit rough (are you sure that your DS has not got confused about this?), but at that age children should be learning to go at break time wherever possible.

[Hassled]

In my experience as a Parent Helper in a number of Yr1 classes over the years, children could always go to the loos when they wanted. It's sort of asking for trouble otherwise, I'd have thought.

Some kids did push their luck, in which case the teachers would ask them to wait, but that's the sort of thing teachers can suss out pretty easily.

The name and shame thing seems pretty shit. Is it worth asking the Head for the reasoning behind it?

[wannaBe]

they should be learning to go at break time.

Ime (and I spend a great deal of time in a year1 classroom), once one asks to go to the toilet they all do so it's a bit of a nightmare really.

[RockinSockBunnies]

I think it's a bit odd that they aren't allowed to go for a wee at that age. They're only small still! Naming and shaming sounds somewhat harsh and surely such an attitude is counter-productive and will lead to lots of accidents when the children are too scared to ask to go to the loo.

I also dimly remember at school being told that it's against a child's rights to be denied access to toilet facilities (or something to that effect)

[mumto2andnomore]

I would check with the teacher, bet he has got mixed up.

[EggheadHilary]

Thank you, I have checked with another parent and she asked her daughter and they do get their names put on a list but the problem I have with it is that it is on a large board on the wall where everyone can see it.

My ds1 is 5 1/2 and yes should be able to hold his wee but he has never been able to hold it in, even when he potty trained at 2 1/2.

I did actually post about my son soiling himself in school on the behaviour/development thread, it would seem that he has stopped drinking water in the day so may be constipated and other poo is leaking past the blockage.

I think the shaming part maybe why we have had so many problems with him soiling himself and not being very unhappy.

We are meeting with the teacher next week to find out her reasons for why she feels this would be a positive step towards helping him go at the appropriate time.

[SummerNights]

I think it is ridiculous my ds is the same about 'last miniute' and I would never expect him to be denied even now in Yr 2.

Definitley take this furtehr particualry if it is having a bad effect on his health to the extent that he has stopped drinking

[cory]

IMO this is a rule better introduced in Year 3 when children have developed better bladder control. Eventually of course you will need to have a rule, or you will find secondary school pupils disrupt the lesson on purpose.

In dcs school it came in in Year 3, but even in secondary students with special problems have a toilet pass to show that they should be allowed to go when they need it. Nothing up on an open board, just a pass that the child can show a teacher.

[james79]

That is ridiculous! when i taught a reception class, children were free to get up and go to the toilet without asking 'permission'-i would hate to ask to go to the toilet! Obviously you need to build up a certain level of understanding first but they are so little, they actually thought it was very grown up to go by themselves when they needed to with just a nod to the teacher/assistant. It was never abused-who wants to hang around toilets when exciting things are happening in the class!? I'd talk to the teacher about name and shame board not to mention health implications. Best of luck.

[sayithowitis]

In the school where I work, children have to write their name on an erasable board when they leave the room for any reason. This way, should there be a fire alarm, an adult knows to make sure the child(ren) concerned are located and take out of the building. Webegan this after a routine fire drill when several children (from a number of classes) did not make their way to the fire point, but went back and waited in their classrooms for the rest of the class to return.

I am in juniors, so rules about going to the toilet may be different. Our general rule, is that if their is agenuine medical reason, children are allowed to leave the room to go to the toilet, but otherwise, they are expected to train them selves to wait and go at break time. This rule is more strictly adhered to as the children progress through the school, therefore, Y3 will be less strictly enforced that Y6.

[EggheadHilary]

Thanks everyone, I think this is a ridiculous rule, it honestly isn't that he dislikes school or the lessons. The toilets are not appealing, they are just off the classroom so no wandering corridors.

His names stays on the board so no wiping out as he comes back into the classroom.

He has talked about this today and said that when he does need to go he is desperate but then the teacher makes it worse by talking to him and delaying him.

I believe he is the only one going to the toilet in lessons, I feel like he can't win. He wet his pants a few times trying to hold it so I get a "chat" with the teacher at her request, then he goes in the lesson and I get another chat although this one was a bit stern

[cornsilk]

I think that this is on the verge of bullying actually. I agree that they should be encouraged to go at play, but putting their name on a board if they have to go is awful.

[HecateQueenOfGhosts]

It is daft, I agree, but if you have 30 children popping in and out of class, it's going to be chaos!

How about working with him to get him into the habit of going to the loo at each break and at lunchtime? Talk it through with him until it sticks. Doesn't matter if he thinks he doesn't need to go, get him into the habit of leaving the class at break and stopping off at the loo before going into the playground. Make it part of the normal routine. I encourage my kids to have what I call a precautionary pee! When he is stood there, bits in hand, he may find he DOES actually need to go. Then he'll be ok in lessons.

[BlueSapphire77]

Hmph

If we were stopped from going to the loo while we were at work there would be uproar.

Can understand if the same child keeps going and is obviously taking advantage but not in normal circumstances surely?

And we're always being told, go when you need to otherwise it'll cause medical problems.

Hmph again.

[MillyR]

At my children's school they are allowed to go to the loo whenever they want, and it is not chaos.

[Littlefish]

Sorry, but the issue of not going to the toilet during lesson times has been done to death several times recently.

If you do a search you'll see lots of opinions from lots of people already.

Writing children's names up on a board is wrong though.

[cazzybabs]

Do they put their name on the board so they don't have to ask the teacher if they can go...so she/he can continue teaching without being disturbed. I did a similar thing with bands

[HecateQueenOfGhosts]

I would imagine pretty much every subject you can think of has been done to death and can be found in the archives.

[EggheadHilary]

Thanks, I do usually search through the archives but we had a leaky pipe this weekend so all hell has let loose as we jimmied up floorboards and ran round like headless chickens grabbing small bowls to fit under the leak

The question was really whether any other school had the policy of writing a child's name on the board.

His name gets written on the board when he is in the toilet but doesn't get wiped out when he returns. It would appear to me that this is a humiliation process.

The school in question achieves outstanding in every OFSTED report but the reason we chose it was because it claims to treat every child as an individual. Therefore some children can hold their wee in and some can't.

They are forced to all go to the toilet before breaktimes/lunchtime to avoid them being in the playground when they need to go.

At home we have tried to make him go before we get into the car but nothing comes out, not even a little dribble and then 10 minutes later in the car he needs a wee and does a really big one! I think his bladder fills fast and then he needs to empty it fast.

I honestly believe he is not taking advantage of being able to go in the lesson. He actually soiled his pants last week and sat in his own poo for an hour because he was too damn scared to tell this teacher.

My beautiful boy is a highly sensitive child and I do not want his special personality crushed because of some lame teacher. There are other reports of her ineptitude.

We are seeing her and SENCO to address what can be done. What I didn't say in my original post was that he actually went hysterical on Friday and sobbed his little heart out that he didn't want to go to school because he was scared of needing a wee. He is 5 years old and too scared to go to school. I felt sick to my stomach.

I honestly didn't know if it was a practised method to put names on a board like the traffic light behavioural system.

[GrimmaTheNome]

I'm glad you're seeing the teacher. Hopefully you can get something sorted out.

My DD had problems caused by not drinking enough, and was worried about drinking as much as the nurse said she should through the day, because they were only supposed to go to the loo in breaks. This was when she was in Yr3...ok, so maybe most juniors can manage but not all. Expecting all Yr1 kids to wee to schedule seems to me quite at odds with reality.

Maybe the name on the board is so they can keep track of who might have a problem (either physical or behavioural) but in that case a bit of paper on the teacher's desk would be more appropriate than a big board.

Good luck!

[wheresthehamster]

At the moment as far as I can make out you only have the word of 5 year olds about the board so you need to hear it from the teacher's side THEN we can all pile in and say what a load of cobblers etc. The only reason I can think of for the board is when the children are allowed to get up and go to the loo, the children on the board can go first. The names would only necessarily be rubbed out then when the next 'no-loo' session started.

If your child has problems, most teachers would agree to allowing him to dash for the loo - it's easier than clearing up accidents.

[EggheadHilary]

Actually my dh spoke to the teacher in question on the phone when he rang to book a meeting with her, she asked if my son had given any indication as to why he was unhappy and my dh explained that his name going up onto the board was distressing him. He also talked to the SENCO lady after she too had spoken to the teacher.

The other child who was asked is in the gifted and talented set so I felt I could rely on her as a girl (girls seem to share a lot more information about what goes on in school with their parents, I have witnessed this as most of my friends have girls) and that she is considered to be above average intelligence wise.

When my son goes to the toilet in the lesson his name is put on the board whilst he is IN the toilet. He sees it when he comes back out.

They have set times to go to the toilet because this is a very large school with 90 children intake in reception, so approx 600 children in total.

They are not allowed back into school from the playground without a teacher or dinner lady which means that lots of children are left unsupervised if someone has to leave their post. Hence why they are made to go before going out.

The teacher has cleaned up my son's accidents when he was asked to hold on (and couldn't) and now he is being penalised for going during a lesson. He cannot win.

I will find out more next week.