God, I'm so incensed am going to burst

[dinny]

AARGH!! Sorry, being pregnant doesn't help (really hormonal and soppy) but ALREADY have issues with dd's new (year 2) teacher.

they drew straws to decide on their "learning partners" - not sure how long it's for or what exactly they do together

anyway, dd's partner is someone rather disruptive, who in the past has caused dd (and lots of others) problems.

yesterday, X wouldn't let dd see the work and dd was put on the sad face (first time ever). I spoke to TA on way in and said dd had been upset as X wouldn't let her share and TA said she had to speak up - I said dd was often scared to speak up (she is quite timid and shy in school), and TA said she'd keep an eye today.

just picked dd up and she was put on sad face and kept in cos X wouldn't let her see the work - am SO annoyed and upset. surely there was a handover from their old teacher to this one and this one knows what X is like??

why should my dd suffer by being paired with her? just don't know how to proceed - don't want to be overly precious but dd has finally been building some confidence and is doing well in her work and I SO don't want it to be ruined.

any advice gratefull received - sorry, v convoluted

[dinny]

gah - bump

[dinny]

unashamed BUMP

[Seeline]

What is 'sad face'?

[MmeLindt]

What is the sad face?

I don't understand why your DD is being punished when the other girl is not letting your DD see her work. Did the teacher not realise that?

[Imnotok]

That is out of order I would be going to see the head .
My dd was sat next to a boy yesterdat who was disruptive and the teacher moved her and told me about the problem.

[NorthernLurker]

why doesn't your child's school have enough copies of the work for everyone to use - do they have to share books? I would be wanting to know the answer to that question first.

[gagarin]

Go straight in and see the teacher

The teaching assistants are just that - assistants. It is the teacher who needs your feedback.

tell the teacher your dd is not brave enough to either demand to see the work or to call the teacher over and tell her that she is having a problem with X in front of X.

take your dd with you if she is brwve enough

get her to tell the teacher what the problem is if she can

[thritbies]

Dinny I don't know what to suggest, but I would def speak to teacher again and AGAIN if necessary. Obv someone has to be paired with X but they must then handle X's ensuing behaviour, keeping a closer eye if they know there is a problem. Have similar in ds's class (Y1)- a boy who is v badly behaved and physically aggressive to others decided that my ds is his best friend and NO ONE else is allowed to play with him. ds told me that if he says he wants others to join in with him, this boy hits him. I brought it up with reception teacher towards end of last term (it wasn't constant through year but had started getting worse) and things improved. Has started a bit this year already, but I will be broaching the subject much earlier.

Is your dd able to tell the teacher that X won't let her see the work or is X always listening in? Seems strange they have to share- what exactly is it they are sharing?

[Buda]

You go to the teacher and say " Hi - sorry to bother you but I am not happy with DD being paired with X.. We had a lot of issues with X last year so there is history there and already she is refusing to share work with DD and DD is being punished by being put on the sad face. I assume the learning partnership is obv abut sharing and encouraging and this is not happening and I would like DD to have another partner please."

[dinny]

"sad face" is where their names are out if they are naughty

I have spent SO LONG bolstering her confidence, and in reception AND Year One I have had to ask that she is kept away from this girl -she has an awful reputation (X)

I really want to see the teacher in the morning but it's the TA who comes out to take them in

they do some work in this class with "learning partners" - presumably to teach them how to share

doens't help that we have new head, old one was aware off dd's probs with this girl (and X's behaviour for years)

[OneLieIn]

You go buda!

[dinny]

dd has never ever been naughty in class, ever - she is the opposite, too scared to ask or tell

what if teacher says she won't change the learning partner - what can I say to make her?

ps. thanks for all being so supportive, was worried I was being a bit PFB-ish. just feel incredibly upset about it

[dinny]

yes, excellent, Buda

[MmeLindt]

Can you call and speak to the teacher? Or make an appointment later in the day, when you pick DD up.

You need to get this sorted out, you are not being PFB, your DD needs to be protected from this girl

[dinny]

just don't want her to have to deal with this crap tomorrow, before I can speak to the teacher

note in first thing, asking to speak to her and saying what about?

[sitdownpleasegeorge]

Seriously, tackle it now.

You could be as subtle as asking the teacher to ensure that your dd has her own copy of the work as X won't let her see it.

I'm amazed though, that the teacher and TA are not questioning why your dd is suddenly being put on the sad face and then even kept in. Don't they realise that something is amiss ?

Nip it in the bud and tell them you are disappointed in their lack of attention to both X's and your dd's learning experience.

[dinny]

I also can't believe someone would be kept in for not finishing their sums! I mean, that's not naughty-ness, is it??

[dinny]

they don't know her though, sitdownpleasegeorge. it really bodes badly for this whole year

[Whizzz]

gagarin - yes TAs are assistants, but it is part of their role to support children and feedback to the teacher any issues.

I don't see why the teacher couldn't change the partnering if it's causing problems. If X isn't sharing, them it's X that should be in the sad face - I can't really see why your DD is taking the 'punishment'?? - Is X on the sad face too??

[SoupDragon]

Changing the learning partner will only shove the problem onto another child. The behaviour of X is what need to be dealt with, not the pairing, and that is what the teacher should be concentrating on (ie watching to ensure that X is sharing with whoever her learning partner is at the time etc).

[MadBadandDangerousToKnow]

Yes, I'd follow Buda's line too.

The problem, I guess, is that even Ms X needs a learning partner and so you won't probably get very far if you just say that you don't want your daughter to be her partner; you need to highlight the particular issues and history between your child and Ms X and why it's especially inappropriate that your child should be her partner. If the teacher won't budge on this, you also need some agreement on when the learning partners will change and on the unfairness of your daughter being put under the sad face because (it seems) of Ms X's bullying. The school can't have it both ways - if (later) they insist on your daughter partnering Ms X to 'model' good behaviour for her (I've heard of this sort of thing quite often) you need a clear agreement that your daughter won't be further penalised for it.

Sorry, long post but HTH.

[dinny]

Whizz, NO, X is cunning and it seems this teacher (unlike the previous two teachers) can't see through her!!!

but SURELY her prev teacher would have done a handover?

[EllieorOllie]

Hi Dinny

I'm an FS/Yr 1 teacher and we have talk partner rather than learning partners but i'm assuming it's a similar thing. If so, the pairings will be changed quite frequently, although it's up to the teacher to decide. I wouldn't advise you asking the teacher to change the partners, as that is something we would not normally do, as it is so important for children to learn to cope with all sorts of working partners, and the pairing should last for a short time. Really the teacher should be giving them all strategies as to how to work together effectively. However, please do draw her attention to the fact your DD was doing nothing wrong, as this was obviously something the teacher should have realised. Unfortunately we all make mistakes from time and time, and pretty much all my colleagues have had a terrible day today - it's 2nd week-itis!
On a slightly different note, I would issue a word of warning about approaching TAs about problems in class/school. It puts them and potentially you in a tricky position, as it the teacher that you need to be talking to. She obviously totally failed to keep an eye on your DD anyway... Come and talk to us please... Most of us don't bite. Although actually I might, as I too am pregnant and hormonal