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FranSanDisco · 15/01/2008 10:16

Yesterday ds (5 yo) was collected by my mum from school and on the way out she was confronted by a father and mother who accused ds of hitting their daughter in the face. They basically said the teacher had confirmed this and asked how was he being brought up to behave like this . Ds was saying "I didn't do anything" and hiding behind Granny.

When I got home from work my mum said the teacher hadn't mentioned anything to her. I spoke to ds who said he had been pushed in the playground (lots of tears from ds as confused now about all this) and in order to save himself had bashed into this girl. She had a nose bleed. When the mid day assistant asked what happened his name was mentioned by several children and he was sent in for 5 mins on the carpet and made apologise. DD (7 yo) confirmed he was crying later because of this. No-one asked him what happened and he took the punishment. Fair enough, we don't have eyes in back of our heads but he was punished.

Now I am a little annoyed that this wasn't mentioned to my mother so we at least were prepared for Mr and Mrs Perfect.

I've slept on it and it still irks. Is this one of life's shit happens or should I speak nicely to the teacher and mention the confrontational parents?

Your views appreciated.

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notjustmom · 15/01/2008 10:21

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Pandemonium · 15/01/2008 10:27

be gentle but speak to the teacher and let your ds know you're sticking up for him. x

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FranSanDisco · 15/01/2008 10:53

Thanks for replying as I just realised I never gave this a title . Hardly a good start to asking for advice really

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critterjitter · 15/01/2008 11:24

The school shouldn't really have given out the names of any of the children involved (however, I appreciate that the children would have mentioned them anyway).

Think I'd ask for a meeting with the teacher. Sounds like cross wires in terms of what the children and mid day assistants are saying.

Totally wrong that the parents had a go at your child. If they've got an issue, they should be directing it to the school first and perhaps you second, but not your child.

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perpetualworrier · 15/01/2008 11:34

I feel for the little girl. If her parents think both of them need to intervene in a situation where she has been hurt accidently by a boy 2 years younger than her,and that the school had already dealt with, how on earth will she ever learn to cope with life on her own?

I wouldn't make a big issue of it, just check with the teacher and let DS know you believe him and sticking up for him.

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FranSanDisco · 15/01/2008 11:54

Ds and the girl are in the same class - both Reception aged children. The 7 yo I mentioned is my dd The little girl was all smiles according to my mum so had recovered from the incident with no lasting effects by home time. I could understand the father's reaction more if she was still upset though it doesn't make it OK.

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yurt1 · 15/01/2008 12:01

The parents sound ridiculous. Do you have a home -school book- perhaps put something in there about there having been a misunderstanding or grab the teacher if you can (worth warning her she has nutter OTT parents to deal with )

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coppertop · 15/01/2008 12:02

If it was a one-off then I would imagine that the teacher didn't mention it to you because it had already been dealt at school. They would have had to have said something to the other parents (usually with no names mentioned) because the school is supposed to keep parents informed about any injuries, even minor ones. At our school you are given a form with details of any accidents etc.

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Mistymoo · 15/01/2008 12:03

I had an issue like this with parents when my ds was in nursery. I was told that my ds had hit their ds and that her dh said he would deal with my ds if it continued, I think words like batter were used. I informed them that I would deal with it although my son had mentioned some weeks prior that their ds had been the one hitting. I had asked my ds if he wanted me to speak to teacher but he had said he was OK. Maybe I should have had it dealt with the matter when ds had mentioned it but I didn't. When I spoke to the teacher she told me that there had been issues with this child for a long time and many parents had had the same treatment. I spoke to the parents the next day and said if they did have issues then we'd arrange a meeting at the school with the staff - never heard from them again.

What I'm trying to say is it is best to deal with these issues sooner rather than later. I would speak to the teacher and tell them how the parents spoke to your mum. I know it is very upsetting to be spoken to like that, especially when you do not know what has gone on.

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FranSanDisco · 15/01/2008 16:17

Thanks for all your replies. I have been at college this afternoon hence the silence. I managed to get to see the teacher when I picked ds up this afternoon. She confirmed that it had been an accident but the reason he was put on the carpet was because there have been lots of accidents lately and the children were constantly being told to calm down. She said it was dealt with in school and therefore she didn't mention it.

There have been an additional 28 children join the 2 Reception classes this term and I can imagine it's quite lively at playtime. The girl in question tends to play more with the lively boys.

When I said that her father had stopped my mother and ds in the playground she was quite concerned and said she would deal with it and call me tomorrow. She said it would go over her head now to someone more senior. The mother of the girl was waiting to see her as well so I kept it brief and thanked her. Hopefully the mother was about to say her dh/dp had been an arse but probably not