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Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Primary education

How do you know when a child is really ill?

18 replies

OrmIrian · 14/01/2008 10:16

Because I thought I had it down to a fine art but recently I've been slipping. I've tended to the rule that if they don't have a temperature, haven't actually been sick and have eaten they are OK. I don't accept DCs saying 'I've got tummy ache' as proof without further evidence.

DS#1 told me he had tummy ache but he had no temp, he ate some breakfast, no D&V. So I told him to get dressed and if he got worse at school he could tell his teacher and I'd get him. So reluctantly he did that (tearfully too) and then whilst waiting in the playground he announced he felt really sick. He looked OK though upset but what the hell do you do when that happens? Tell him to pull himself together and risk his throwing up as he walks into his classroom and attract the rage of every passing parent and teacher? Well I didn't. Too many horrible tummy bugs around at the moment. He's at home watching Johnny English on the sofa and eating an apple. Fine. Nowt wrong at all. I've had to arrange to work from home today, reschedule a meeting. I am not happy.

I am clearly losing my touch

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LadyMuck · 14/01/2008 10:19

I think that you've actually got to be clear with the teacher:- you have no evidence that he is ill, and if an oral complaint is now sufficient for dcs to be let off school then we may as well all give up now! There are always D&V bugs at this time of year.

LadyMuck · 14/01/2008 10:20

Our school too has now issued a "if in doubt, keep them out" letter, but I think that there has to be some physical evidence.

Mind you, I'm so hard that if he is fine at 10:20 then he's be back in school by 10:30.

OrmIrian · 14/01/2008 10:23

I am thinking about sending him back ladymuck. I am quite cross with him but I know he's find Yr 6 quite hard.

I wanted to find the teacher and explain the situation but before I could find her he'd announced he felt sick.

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Mercy · 14/01/2008 10:23

How old is he, Orm?

OrmIrian · 14/01/2008 10:24

He's 11 and not normally a skiver

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LadyMuck · 14/01/2008 10:32

If he is Year 6 then I would send him in. If nothing else I would hate to set any precedents that could be called upon in Yr 7. I wouldn't indicate that you thought that he was a skiver, but would just say that he'd felt a bit unwell this morning, but actually seems fine now, and it would be a pity to waste the day! The worst that can happen is that he ends up truly ill later in the day, but you've arranged your day at home now anyway.

edam · 14/01/2008 10:39

I sent ds in this morning despite him insisting he felt sick. He didn't look ill to me. [hard mother emoticon] And when he got through the door the teacher spotted he was reluctant, gave him a job to do and he trotted off quite happily. However, he's only just started reception so no experience of year six.

OrmIrian · 14/01/2008 10:45

I think I probably needed to be tougher but had this vision of exorcist-like puking and it all being my fault when the entire school goes down with the bug Yr 6 is very different to reception edam. My youngest is in reception this year and I can't beleive it's the same school TBH.

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ingles2 · 14/01/2008 12:00

my ds1 8 is skivving off school today. TBH he does have glands like golf balls, but seems perfectly fine now. Mean mummy is making him lie in bed and listen to Roald Dahl, he had visions of playstation me thinks

edam · 14/01/2008 12:03

oh, I imagine it is, just wanted to sympathise. No call from school re ds so I think my stern Mummy instincts were right, though.

dippydeedoo · 14/01/2008 12:05

year 6 is a tough year with sats and stuff maybe he did have a tummy ache ? a bit anxious perhaps.....its hard isnt it i generally go by the theory if they can eat and walk theyre ok but now having a 12 yr old with a blood problem i realise thats not always the best guide...i dont let them play on playstations or computers if they are off poorly tho in fact cos i home school our youngest i usually find them something educational to do....eldest son said to his teacher its no reward being ill in our house....

Tortington · 14/01/2008 12:05

i usually offer them some sweets or a cake if i am nsure with the follow up " well if your well enough for chocolate your well enough for school - get yer arse gone"

edam · 14/01/2008 12:06

Oh yeah, if my Mother ever suspected any skiving (we practically had to have a limb falling off to be allowed to stay at home) there would definitely not be any TV or anything that could make home more attractive than school.

She was lovely when I had very serious flu, though, still remember waking up and trying to stand for what felt like the first time in a week and realising she'd bought me some very special chocolates (parsley the lion)!

dustystar · 14/01/2008 12:10

Our rule is if you are too sick for school you have to stay in bed. No lying on the sofa watching tv. DD has tried it on a couple of times and both times she suddenly recovered by 11.00 and asked to go back to school I bore her into going to school lol.

I wouldn't be so strict if i knew they were genuinely ill though - i'm not that mean.

BettySpaghetti · 14/01/2008 12:11

Thats my approach too Custy -if they reply too quickly or too enthusiastically to any treat, edible or otherwise, then they are well enough for school/nursery.

DaphneHarvey · 14/01/2008 12:14

Aaaaaargh! I was called to pick up my DS (4) from nursery at 10.15 this morning. He was very cold and shivery when I picked him up, tbh, so of course I brought him home.

Sat on sofa and read a book under the duvet. Then he lay down for 20 mins and watched a bit of telly.

5 mins ago he asked for an apple (!) and is currently running around trashing the house playing super-heroes.

Since he is only at nursery for 2.5 hours, I do kind of think they could have kept him there until home time. But hey ho!

OrmIrian · 14/01/2008 12:15

DS didn't eat much of his bacon sandwich this morning. Which was a bit of a concern as he loves them and eats vast amts of food normally. I use appetite as an indicator too. Usually it works.

We've had a talk now. i've told him that if he really is ill I am perfectly happy for him to be at home. But if he isn't' he is making life very difficult for me with work, missing a day of school at an important time, for no good reason. He had promised it won't happen again. But I still think it's probably down to me to ensure it doesn't

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OrmIrian · 14/01/2008 12:19

My DD was terrible for this in reception and yr 1. She would tell me she felt ill with no symptoms at all - she'd cry about going to school and I'd tell her that I would talk to the teacher and make sure that is she got worse the teacher would call me in. And inevitably the teacher would! And within 5 mins DD was better again. In the end I started having very different talks with the teacher - along the lines that DD tended to swing the lead and would they please make sure that she really was ill before they called me! Don't just take her word for it. She is OK now - rarely takes time off.

DS was always great. Got 99% attendance year after year until this one.

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