Any suggestions for dealing with a chatty four year old girl?

[maggiethecat]

DD1 is little miss chatterbox and altho it can be tiring we are proud of the fact that she is alert and questioning and generally happy to express herself. But it seems that it is a problem at school and today the dinner lady's response to DH's request to encourage DD to eat at lunchtime was "she chats too much" (said in front of DD).

Any thoughts on how to deal with DD as we feel that too much chatting can be distracting for herself and others but we do not want to dampen her enthusiasm for expressing herself.

[MaureenMLove]

TBH, I wouldn't take any action at all! This is the dinner lady we're talking about, not her teacher. If she doesn't eat her lunch and she's hungry in the afternoon, she'll soon learn herself to shut up! You can't possibly quieten down a 4 year old, I know I couldn't make mine be quiet for more than a minute. Really, I wouldn't take any notice of the dinner lady.

[christywhisty]

I've got one like that who is 10. Parents evening was she scores highly but her work doesn't reflect that except for maths. Teachers like her because she brings enthusiasm to the class, teachers use her to bounce off of when they are not getting much feedback. But she doesn't know when to stop and that she is disturbing others.
I had words with her after parents evening and she has improved quite a bit and got a special mention last week for behaving well.
You just need to explain to her there is a time and a place to chat and it is not fair on others if she is disturbing them.

[Rachmumoftwo]

But if she isn't getting time to eat her lunch, maybe she needs to chat less at lunchtime. Why not tell her to eat quickly and then she can have ages to chat during playtime. Also, lunchtime assistants should be treated with respect as school staff too, not looked down on as just 'dinner ladies'.

[MaureenMLove]

Fair enough, I wasn't meaning to be disrespectful of dinner ladies, far from it, but as she is only 4, it would seem a backwards step imho, to dampen her attutude to life. She is still very little and probably so excited about being at big school, that she just can't help herself! If a 10 year old is talking too much, then talk to her, but not a four year old surely? Has her teacher mentioned her chatiness?

[juuule]

I wouldn't do anything. Let her chat and if she's hungry at hometime she could have something to eat then (her lunch if she takes a lunchbox). Sounds as though she's happy. Why spoil that. I think you are exactly right not to want to dampen her enthusiasm.
If she was hungry at lunch time then she would probably wolf her food before she started chatting. Maybe talk to her about eating one thing at least off her plate/out of her box.

[Madsometimes]

Your daughter sounds delightful. She is only 4, and children will eat if they are hungry. My kids are always starving when they come out of school because they don't always want to eat at the times that are set.

I'm guessing she's just started reception. She will eventually learn when chatting is appropriate and not. My dd2 is due to start school in January. She is so cheeky I just know she will call her teacher Mrs BananaHead or something equally silly. She will learn in the end.

[maggiethecat]

Thanks for the feedback. I am not overly concerned about the lunchtime chatting interrupting her eating as I believe she will eat if hungry. In fact since the original posting she has lunched on 3 pieces of chicken nuggets that her dad made for her - and that is plenty by her standards.

The teacher has politely mentioned that DD has a good vocabulary and likes to express herself. But DD has recently started to tell us to stop talking and to zip our mouths, all said in a very strict tone and I believe that she is mimicking her teacher. My concern is that she will expend too much energy chatting and not paying attention to teachers and, of course, that she will be labelled disruptive.