private tutoring for 5 year old good or bad idea?

(57 Posts)
southeastastra Mon 04-Jun-07 12:53:41

my ds(5) is quite behind with maths and reading at school. he is just at the end of year one.

would it be worth getting him some private tutoring? or shall i let him go at his own pace. what would the school make of it?

Twiglett Mon 04-Jun-07 12:55:52

I'd let him go at his own pace personally .. he's only little .. too much pressure for the tutoring I think

what do you mean by behind though .. what can't he do that you or school expect him to be able to

binker Mon 04-Jun-07 12:58:53

My ds,now almost 10, was very slow at reading/handwriting/maths at about the same age - he had extra help in school (LSAs and teaching assistants) and in his own time managed to become one of the best readers/spellers currently in his year - maths is still quite hard for him,but he isn't too bad and he writes fantastic stories - he is very much like me in fact...I'd hang on for a bit and see how he blossoms in year 2.

NKF Mon 04-Jun-07 12:59:00

Or perhaps help him a bit more. Speak to the teacher and see if she has any suggestions. Tutoring seems a bit intense to me at that age but other people will disagree I'm sure.

TenaLady Mon 04-Jun-07 13:02:25

Is he one of the youngest in his class? This always makes it look worse than it actually is.

At that age, you dont need a private tutor, you need to spend more time with him when he gets home from school, reading with him and practising whatever they want you to practise in maths at the school.

I wouldnt waste your money, at that age they need to have a rappor with the teacher to get the best out of them, you know his capabilities so you are best qualified to deal with it.

southeastastra Mon 04-Jun-07 13:02:56

he finds it hard to concentrate. parent's report said lower than expected for age on speaking and listening, writing and reading. but i know he does try and has high marks for effort. his writing is awful

trying to do basic maths with him is like pulling teeth. though he seems to be getting a bit more enthusiastic.

LIZS Mon 04-Jun-07 13:04:32

If he is that far behind can the school not offer any additional learning support ? There is wide variation within dd's Year 1 class but I'm sure it evens out more later on. Personally I wouldn't load any more onto a 5 year old's school day, presumably he is one of the youngest in the class too ?

southeastastra Mon 04-Jun-07 13:07:43

he does have an iep, when i see him with others the same age he seems so much younger.

maybe i'm just worrying too much (he's a end of july birthday too).

Twiglett Mon 04-Jun-07 13:12:22

gawd .. a couple of days and he'd be entering year 1 next year

I'd relax about it and let him catch up at his own pace

DS couldn't read at all at the beginning of the year (he's a feb birthday so is 6 now .. was 5 and a half then) .. then suddenly it just clicked .. its not a steady path it shoots up then plateaus for a bit then shoots again .. he went from sounding phonics to ORT 10 in 7 months

please try not to worry too much SEA

southeastastra Mon 04-Jun-07 13:19:59

i know i am worrying. his report said he should be congratulated on his achievements but i suppose it's all this 'lower than exptected' stuff. i hope he'll catch up more in year two. he does try.

Twiglett Mon 04-Jun-07 13:22:31

do you know how you know your child is going to succeed in life

because he's 5 and he already knows how to TRY

good for him .. he sounds fab ..

southeastastra Mon 04-Jun-07 13:23:34

thanks feel better now

Twiglett Mon 04-Jun-07 13:55:27


Blu Mon 04-Jun-07 14:05:53

I agree with twiglett.
A glimmer of enthusiasm and an ability to try are the most valuable things he could have. The last thing you want to do is pressurise the enthusiasm out of him. DS was the same as twig's DS in terms of suddenly 'getting' reading after a slow, unwilling start. Before he had a sudden grasp, I stopped attempting reading practice althogether (and told his teacher I was stopping) becase the 'pulling teeth' effect was making him not want to go near a book. Now, he suddenly feels more confident he can do it, he has become quite competitive and is trying to race through the books. Do whatever it takes to nurture enthusiasm - even if that means being hands off for a bit.

Clary Mon 04-Jun-07 14:09:55

SEA agree no to tutors at this age.
He is so young and will probably suddenly do much better.

FWIW have you tried making the maths stuff just part of the day - eg asking him how much money you need to pay in a shop/how much change you will get, get him to write a shopping list, weigh stuff when you are baking and add it together etc, rather than a formalised "let's sit down and do some sums" type thing which may put him off?

southeastastra Mon 04-Jun-07 17:36:22

thanks all. i admit i probably could do more with regards to letting him get more involved when i do shopping etc. but i will make more of an effort, his older brother is very patient with him too

kid Mon 04-Jun-07 17:39:30

I was concerned about DD when she was in Year 1, but I was reassured she was doing fine.
Now she is coming to the end of Year 3, the school admit she is behind in most areas and are very slowly trying to do something about it.
I have a private tutor for DD now, which is making a difference on her school work.

How about letting him play on the BBC website, I let DS (also 5) go on it and he loves it and learns at the same time.

1dilemma Mon 04-Jun-07 23:24:55

End of July for a little boy sounds hard imho there is huge difference between the older ones and the youngest when they are that young.
Have you really thought of ways to tackle his problem areas yourself? eg speaking, start 'tell me about your day' when you all take it in turns to tell each other something about your day, then progress on to what you liked doing why? and what you want to do next. Reading, just practice reading books to him, let him choose them have you tried books on CD's? simple things like Cat in the hat? Richard Scarry or factual books about diggers or ants etc Magazines Try and put maths into your day so count up the stairs, let him han over the money and take the change in a shop, hand round the biscuits if he counts them, cook counting eggs etc. Can't promise you it will work but worth a try. I think private tutoring is a lot at his age and as others have said you can do most of it yourself. In my experience what mine want is my attention and if telling me about their day gets it then they will, even teh 2 yr old is saying tell me abou your day mummy (usually at nine am when we've only been saparated for as long as it takes me to wash dishes )

1dilemma Mon 04-Jun-07 23:25:41

sorry about all the typos!

southeastastra Tue 05-Jun-07 08:21:29

thanks kid and 1dilema, i know what you're saying makes sense. he loves the pc and will play on the dr who website for ages. maybe that's part of the problem. too much computing not enough rl reading etc.

Budababe Tue 05-Jun-07 08:30:23

My DS is an early Aug birthday and just coming to end of Yr 1 also. His reading is not too bad but his writing is dreadful - not great pen control but has just started to enjoy colouring so am sure that will come. Am planning lots of writing over the summer to help him.

My MIL was a reception teacher for years and she says that she has had children starting reception reading and writing pretty well and some not - they go on to Yr 1 and then Yr 2 where it all seems to "gel" and they pretty much catch up with each other.

As others have said I would wait to see how he does next year but in the meantime maybe find some games that mean he has to do some maths without realising. (Ours don't get maths homework yet btw - only reading and spelling and my DS has only been getting the spellings since after Easter when others started at Xmas). If he likes the computer find some sites with maths and reading that he will enjoy. (Will look for those recommendations myself with interest!).

lemonaid Tue 05-Jun-07 08:38:33

He's a boy (typically slower with reading), and he's young for the year. Think about doing stuff yourself to help his concentration, and get books or magazines to read at home about stuff that interests him (isn't there some Doctor Who magazine aimed at children?).

Ladymuck Tue 05-Jun-07 09:00:34

There are one or two boys in ds1's Y1 group who are being tutored, but without exception these are boys where English is not the primary language at home.

I agree with most of what has been said in that a) it is not unusual for boys in particular to lag behind and then have a sudden burst especially with reading/writing, and b) there is stuff that you can do at home to help. However I do think that there are circumstances where b) is actually quite difficult eg if you are working, or have several other children, or even if the child's personality is such that they won't interact with you, and on those occasions I do think that there may be value if getting a tutor, though obviously you will have to find one that your ds can work with (which may not be that easy).

Azure Tue 05-Jun-07 09:28:06

I have a Yr1 late August boy and he reads at a much lower level than some of his class, who are up to 51 weeks older. His writing is poor. I don't view him as being behind because he is doing it at his own level and I trust it's going to "kick in" at some point (I may change my view in a year's time!). My sister has a June girl in Yr2 who she felt was not doing as well as she could - as my sister has three children she was also conscious that she couldn't spend the individual time at home that she would like to plus her teacher at school only listens to her read once per term. Anyway, she has engaged a former teacher to come to her house for an hour per week to concentrate on reading and writing, and it's made a huge difference.

JoolsToo Tue 05-Jun-07 09:33:15

he's 5! let him go at his pace with no pressure! You can help him with reading and numbers in play environment. Five is way too young for tutoring imho. In fact I'm not that much of a fan of it all.

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