I have a tendency to write overly long OPs so will try my best to make this brief.
DS has had the same 2 friends since preschool and they are now in yr 1. Its now becoming apparent that 3 is a crowd and Ds is frequently coming home with stories of being left out (although I do suspect this happens to each of the boys on occasion).
DS has a tendency to be bossy and the other boys have taken to coming up to me after school and telling me when he's been annoying them, which is pretty upsetting. I actually think DS's bossy streak is more a desperate act to get them to play with him, rather than wanting to be in charge - he is so afraid of having to go and find someone else to play with that he thinks he can/should do what it takes to get his 2 best mates to play with him. He does struggle with being flexible once he gets an idea in his head. But I don't think he means to be controlling. He can play very diplomatically with his brother and with friends in an out of school environment
I have suggested he plays with other kids sometimes - DS maintains he doesn't want other friends, just the 2 he already has. I can see that they just aren't as bothered about him as he is about them. Its heartbreaking.
Just to make matters worse I am friends with both mums. Playdates with these boys outside of school are pretty much always a success (usually 2 out of the 3 boys) and DS has friends from extra curricular stuff too - its just the free play at school and playground which is upsetting him. Generally he is otherwise happy and it doesn't seem to be affecting his mood, only when we get on the subject of playtimes.
I have tried to speak to his teacher (who is pretty wonderful) but she was fairly dismissive and said that as far as she can see the 3 boys are inseparable and therefore must all be fine. A lot of people I talk to say its all normal playground behaviour and they will figure it out themselves. I really don't want to be annoying mum at school.
I just really want him to be happy, have friends, be liked and be nice. I want to help him through all this but don't know how, and I also don't know if its necessary, if it really is a big deal or just normal playground politics. Does anyone have any advice?
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Primary education
YR1 DS struggling with friendships
7 replies
ilovetosleep · 23/01/2017 12:58
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