Friendships

(3 Posts)
stabbytheunicorn Fri 23-Sep-16 01:09:07

Eugh, where to start.

DD2 is 9. Just gone into y5.

She's had a few "best friends" over the years but sadly a few have moved schools so she's had to start again a couple of times.

Her most recent bf became her bf when they moved into y3, and for nearly 2 yrs everything has been great.

I get on with her mum as our older kids were in the same class

Towards the end of y4 DDs friend got a bit silly. Just little things she'd say or do which made dd sad. Like refusing to talk to her (in one case, for 48hrs.. she actually told dd this) and other things you'd just label as mean.

I tried to gee dd along and made excuses for this child's behaviour. Parents trying to sell house, talk of the kid moving schools. That type of thing.

We managed to make it to the end of the year which i hoped would help. A good break from each other. Absence making the heart grow fonder and all that jazz.

So, we have a lovely summer and dd looking forward to seeing her bf in sept.

First day back and this child was nasty again. So much so that the holiday gift dd had bought gets given to another child.. DDs choice but it took me by surprise and totally her choice and very telling I thought.

Over the last few weeks this child and another have been really unkind to dd.

Not letting her play with them, and others if in a group. Ignoring her, and generally being mean girls.

It's obvious thus child has moved on.. absolutely find. Friendships change but I don't get why there needs to be nastiness too.

The other day two other kids asked this child if she was friends with dd. She replied no, and told them she'd made up a rude song about her. She didn't share this song so not sure of the content but this info made it's way to dd.

I did spk to the teacher about this as to me it's boarding on bullying. Teacher said she'd investigate.

Apparently she pulled in dd, evil bf and two other girls. Ebf told the teacher that is was a song about another child she knows with same name, then back pedals and says its her cousin.

Teacher told all 4 that someone was lying but the way dd spoke about it it soundslike the teacher just left it at that.

I'm disappointed because this child and her new friend continue to be nasty to dd. Today newbf rolled her eyes and sighed loudly when she ended up on the same netball team. And oldbf took great pleasure in coming to dd several times to "tell" her she was having newbf round for tea tonight. To the point she was seeking her out.

I know dd is upset over the way things have panned out, but very pragmatic and is trying hard to not let them get to her but my god I'm not as half as diplomatic as she is.

I want to message the mother of the exbf asking why her child us being such a bitch (won't as know thus won't help)

I can only assume the newbf has put things in her head, or she's keen to show she's loyal to newbf.. I don't know, maybe not it just seems like such a cruel thing to do, esp considering she's always been a nice child.

How should I progress. Wwyd?

Just to add. DD doesn't want to be friends with her, it's not about making up.

redskytonight Fri 23-Sep-16 11:14:23

Tell DD to ignore ignore ignore, avoid them as much as possible, and it will likely blow over in a week or so.

I know others will suggest telling the teacher, but realistically the teacher can't police odd comments in the playground and it's going to be pretty hard to prove that e.g. saying things like friend was coming round to tea are more than odd conversation.

Unfortunately this sort of thing seems common in Y4/start of Y5. They do mature during the year!!

Idliketobeabutterfly Fri 23-Sep-16 12:04:20

I'd go ignore and avoid too.

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