Asking to move Reception Class? WWYD?

(20 Posts)
Gemsquash1984 Fri 09-Sep-16 09:47:57

This is my first mumsnet post so please go easy on me....

My DS has just started reception this week, we have not long moved to the area. He was at a private nursery for 1 term and I was told it was a feeder for the school and several other children would be going to the school.

The school asked which nursery he attended and I believed he would be put in the same class. However, his 2 friends from nursery are in the other class. The problem is that he only knows one other child who lives down our road. DS wants to play with this child and walk to/from school with him. This boy is quite aggressive and seems like a little s**t and keeps pushing and punching my son. I had to tell him off several times this morning. My DS will then push him back and I tell DS off, but really what is he supposed to do? I ask DS who he plays with at school and he says this boy. He says that this boy punches him but he doesn't mind. We had a chat about it and I said that he can't let someone punch him. DS says he will give him a warning and if he hits again he'll go and tell the teacher. My DS is by no means an angel, and loves rough play and does push a bit but punching???? I dont want my DS to start punching or be punched.

I'm tempted to try and get him moved into the other class but don't want to seem like a drama queen? Am I being a bit precious??

JinkxMonsoon Fri 09-Sep-16 09:54:08

Assuming all the Reception classes have 30 children, your son won't be able to move unless a child is removed from the class you want to move him into.

My DD was heartbroken that lots of her preschool friends ended up being put into a different class to her. Luck of the draw I'm afraid. But children are adaptable and she'll be fine I'm sure.

I would instead raise the punching issue, but also make sure your DS isn't giving as good as he gets. The punching may be going unnoticed if your DS is equally "rough and tumble" and is seen to be pushing this other boy.

paxillin Fri 09-Sep-16 09:54:24

I would have a word with the teacher or TA. They can keep an eye on him. He will make friends soon, it is unlikely the nursery friendships survive reception anyway.

PatriciaHolm Fri 09-Sep-16 09:58:47

I would raise the punching issues quietly with a teacher. Not something to ask to move classes over (and the answer will be no anyway, there is zero chance a teacher is going to start moving kids at this stage because of something so minor).

firawla Fri 09-Sep-16 10:00:09

I don't think they will just move him like that as there's probably not space in the other classes. But, do you know if they mix up the classes again down the line? See how he gets on and if it's causing a big issue then mention to them and they would bare it in mind if they do shuffle them for year 1 or year 2? Our school shuffles at year 4 but if there have been issues with various children needing to be split they do it earlier too.
It's so early in the term though, he has plenty of time to get to know the other 28 kids in class apart from this boy, so I wouldn't worry much just yet - but do mention the punching to the teacher?
Mine all came from different nurseries and didn't know anyone in their class, but soon got to know them and made friends so i wouldn't worry too much about them not being with nursery friends

GiddyOnZackHunt Fri 09-Sep-16 10:04:15

Agree with first couple of responses wrt class size limits and having a word with the teacher's.
Also remember they're still settling in and finding their feet. Your ds will make friends with other children. It will shift and change all year and he'll be invited to parties and play dates soon.

BittyWanter Fri 09-Sep-16 10:11:50

It's not always possible to move DC due to class sizes but it is at least worth an ask if that's the route you want to go down.

Agree with others you need to tell the teacher/ta about what's going on regarding the punching.

Make it clear to your DS that he must tell the teacher immediately if he does it.

Your DS will make new friends. Maybe encourage new friendships by inviting one of the other DC in your ds's class round for dinner one night or a meet at the park at the weekend?

redskytonight Fri 09-Sep-16 10:37:26

AGree with everyone else. Raise the specific issues with this boy with the teacher. I seriously doubt the school will move your child based on this though - not after a week, and if there was any moving to be done, I would expect it to be the other child!! Remember that there may well be children in the other class who behave in the same way! Lastly, how much do the classes mix? When my DC were in Reception the 2 classes did so much together that specific class really didn't matter (in fact, DS's closest friends were all in the "other" class).

Gemsquash1984 Fri 09-Sep-16 10:40:36

Cheers ladies. Bloody hell, playground politics already in week 1! DS is probably orientating towards him as he's the only one he knows and will soon make new friends. Feeling a bit better now, was just fuming after repeated punches and also he nearly pushed DS into the road. Think I'll try and avoid them on the school run!

Mybugslife Fri 09-Sep-16 10:40:42

We had a similar problem last year when my DD started reception. Give it a few weeks and he will have made completely new friends and this little boys behaviour will have been picked up by the teachers. It's all new and scary but honestly it will be completely fine xx

MiaowTheCat Fri 09-Sep-16 10:53:16

Similar situation here - 4 kids from the same nursery went into 2 classes - 2 kids in each and DD1's been split from her friends and put with a lad who has older brothers and likes to push and shove in the same way he would playing with siblings twice the size of him shall we say. Been a fair few incidents at nursery (DD1 loves playing the wounded party and is a bit of a drama queen though so I've never gone in with more than a "can you keep an eye on" request)

I've just had a quiet word with the teacher to keep an eye on the dynamic between the two of them so she's aware. They mix the classes up so much for outdoor play and shared classroom provision that I'm really trying not to fret it - and DD1 seems to have gravitated toward a couple of girls she vaguely knew from the local soft plays and toddler groups anyway already.

I may raise it if it's becoming an issue before they sort out classes for Y1 when things are more rigid about being in class groups more of the day.

t4nut Fri 09-Sep-16 11:18:14

The school will not move him. Keep this in mind for the next 13 years - the class they're put in is the class they're put in.

BittyWanter Fri 09-Sep-16 11:25:30

T4nut- that's not necessarily true as we moved our DS in year1 to another class. Luckily though it was only because there was less than 30 pupils and teachers agreed with the issues we had

JinkxMonsoon Fri 09-Sep-16 11:31:31

Many schools shuffle classes around. In ours it's at the start of year 2 and at the start of year 5.

2014newme Fri 09-Sep-16 11:34:26

My children knew nobody on starting school. They make new friends! But punching child I would raise with teachers

Kanga59 Fri 09-Sep-16 11:36:28

I'd be encouraging other friendships too. children are very fickle at this age and will play with almost anyone. teach your son to walk.away if the other.boy is being rough.

Gemsquash1984 Fri 09-Sep-16 11:48:23

I should have mentioned that I think that there is a place in the other class as I know another child's mother requested that her DS was moved. I wouldn't have thought of it otherwise. I'll just have a quiet word with the teacher.

ReggieJones Fri 09-Sep-16 20:11:45

Its highly unlikely that they'd move him after just a week of school. Friendships, temperaments and behavior are all a bit changeable at this age and stage and theres no gaurentee that a different problem might not come up in the class he moved too. You should raise the punching issue with the class teacher though as it unacceptable. Any decent teacher should be perfectly capable of dealing with this behavior without needing to switch class groups around.

thisagain Fri 09-Sep-16 20:41:40

I personally would ask if he could be moved. I think it costs nothing to ask and the answer could be yes. How annoyed would you be with yourself if he could have been moved but somebody else got in first, using up what may potentially be the only space? My son is Yr1 and we have a similar situation with a boy a few doors away, playing outside (with adults watching) with my son happily after school but I've had to speak to the teacher yesterday about him hitting my son and spitting at his face. In our case, my son is quiet and placid and this behaviour is very clearly one sided -which makes things easier for me to sort out. But I was very angry, so I know exactly how you feel - perhaps irrationally so, considering we are talking about a 5 year old!. Even if they don't agree to move him immediately, your request will be noted and you can ask again if the situation escalates, as these things usually do.

smellyboot Fri 09-Sep-16 21:19:28

Leave for school 5 mins earlier and avoid them on the school run. Have a quiet word with the teacher. I doubt they will move him, but you could always ask. Some times it's good for them to make new friends in their own class and also have friends in another class to play with at break times etc
Our school mixes the classes for some stuff like phonics part way through reception also. They shuffle all the classes at yr1. They shuffle again later if there are issues.
One school I know shuffles the classes every year!
Try not to worry too much and see how it goes over the next month.

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