Boy in DD class using inappropriate language and sexual gestures. Should I tell teacher?

(32 Posts)
pollmeister Sun 12-Jun-16 18:22:21

My daughter always tells me everything that goes on in her class – who’s been naughty and what they did etc. There’s a very disruptive boy in my DD’s class (year 4) that has been using inappropriate language and gestures. Sexual stuff. Plus all the swear words including the good ol’ c-word. He also sings stuff like “smoking weed everyday” (although I expect he doesn’t know what it means) and says to the girls “I’m watching you females” (I’m wondering if he’s watching adult video games?). Also, I was helping in the class the other day and he was told off for mucking about and I saw him do ‘thrusting’ behind the teachers back (all the other boys all laughing at his naughtiness) which I found really distasteful (the teacher didn’t see). A friend of my daughter’s recently asked her mum “what does this mean?” with that hand gesture of the index finger going through a hole made with the other hand (ie F**king) – and yes it was said boy who was showing her this. He is a very angry child that flies off the handle and lashes out at times; however, he is not stupid. I understand that his parents spit up last year so I guess the upheaval could be problematic for him.
But this behaviour isn’t right is it? I don’t want my daughter to see and hear stuff like this from an 8/9 yr old boy. Should I tell the teacher or is it none of my business?

ditavonteesed Sun 12-Jun-16 18:24:37

you should tell the teacher, this is the sort of think that could indicate things aren;t as they should be for this little boy at home and it is easier for people to work things out with all the little pieces if the jigsaw. Child protection is everybodys job.

Haggisfish Sun 12-Jun-16 18:26:02

Yes definitely tell a teacher.

Coconutty Sun 12-Jun-16 18:28:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrz Sun 12-Jun-16 18:28:44

The school needs to know

pollmeister Sun 12-Jun-16 18:41:04

Just to add - its a small villagey primary school in Surrey - not some inner-city hell-hole : (

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Sun 12-Jun-16 18:44:51

Doesn't matter where the school is , one of the nicest schools with the must incredibly well behaved kids was inner city. Yes, tell the school OP.

samlovesdilys Sun 12-Jun-16 21:07:47

Tell the school - and I would go straight to child protection officer in school, not class teacher /TA to emphasise your concern...

sixinabed Sun 12-Jun-16 21:10:20

Another one saying definitely tell the school.

BlueChampagne Sun 12-Jun-16 21:25:26

Definitely tell school. If they're on the ball, they won't be surprised.

lifeisaconundrumattimes Sun 12-Jun-16 21:38:59

Yes yes yes. Tell the school. If they don't know, they should. Child protection officer would want to know.

DesolateWaist Sun 12-Jun-16 21:41:36

Tell the teacher but I am willing to bet that they already know.

Luna9 Sun 12-Jun-16 21:49:37

I will speak with the head teacher or write her a letter; things in writing are always better.

When I had an issue with my daughter and another child; nothing like like your case though, I kept telling the teacher but nothing happened; when I wrote to the head teacher the issue was immediately resolved

Mishaps Sun 12-Jun-16 21:52:42

Of course you must tell the teacher - children all pick up this sort of stuff eventually but it should not be in the classroom.

OsmiumPhazer Mon 13-Jun-16 09:29:48

Quite interesting to see written how 'inner city' schools are still often seen as 'hellholes' in the shire counties. Some of the worst performing schools are often found on the coast

MrsJayy Mon 13-Jun-16 09:33:12

Doesnt matter where the school is really go to school you are maybe right and he is playing xbox games or something but the teacher needs to know.

Cleo1303 Mon 13-Jun-16 09:58:21

Definitely write to the Head and say you want something done about this and you don't expect his behaviour to be allowed to continue. His parents should be told he'll be suspended and then excluded if it continues.

chickenowner Mon 13-Jun-16 10:03:03

I'm a primary teacher and have had parents tell me this kind of thing. Tell the teacher!

BertrandRussell Mon 13-Jun-16 10:06:35

"Just to add - its a small villagey primary school in Surrey - not some inner-city hell-hole : ("

This is relevant exactly why?

Of course tell the bloody teacher- on what planet wouldn't you???????

pollmeister Mon 13-Jun-16 10:13:27

Thanks all. Oh and I only put 'inner-city hellhole' to maybe give a wee bit of colour - I KNOW not all schools are like that - I went to a rough comp in London and turned out fine(ish) : )

BertrandRussell Mon 13-Jun-16 10:15:25

"Thanks all. Oh and I only put 'inner-city hellhole' to maybe give a wee bit of colour - I KNOW not all schools are like that - I went to a rough comp in London and turned out fine(ish) : )"

<sigh>

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies Mon 13-Jun-16 10:16:24

Like all previous posters have said, tell the school.

But you should also be aware that the school cannot tell you what they're doing. This doesn't mean that they don't want you to tell them, and it doesn't mean they're doing nothing.

5BlueHydrangea Mon 13-Jun-16 10:20:14

Definitely highlight your concerns. These are clear signs that this child has been exposed to sexual activity which could be in real life, on TV, games etc. either way it is inappropriate in a child to be acting like this. He could be sexually abused himself.
The school should d/w appropriate safeguarding person and investigate.

MrsJayy Mon 13-Jun-16 10:30:48

Oh dear you didnt really make it anybetter with your hell hole explanation distruptive children are disruptive children regardless of nice cosy village primary

MrsJayy Mon 13-Jun-16 10:32:02

Is year 4 8 yr olds ?

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