Sending very "girly" DD to boy-heavy pre-prep?

[Confused2011]

We had planned to send DD to a lovely nurturing pre-prep near us this September, but recently discovered there will only be 3 or 4 girls in each class of 18. Anyone else sent their DD to a school like this? Did your DD have friendship issues?

We steered clear of the excellent girls schools in our area because we wanted to wean her away from the very stereotyped "girly" environment she's created at home and avoid the trauma of bitchy friendship cliques. Have we gone too far in the opposite direction?

Has anyone had to take their DD out of a very boy-heavy pre-prep or prep school? Please PM me if you're willing to discuss!

[cheminotte]

No direct experience but I used to have a girls school near me but it's now closed. It was in no way 'girly' and the girls came out really confident. The take up of science at A level for example was much higher than at the co-ed schools. I have boys but would have loved to send daughters there. I think in a very small group of girls there is a risk that there is only one 'right' way to be a girl that your daughter will have to conform to to be accepted.

[ArmfulOfRoses]

My dd goes to a girls high school and I agree with pp that it isn't girly at all.
I'm thrilled that things like science or DT won't be seen by her as something the boys do.

Do you have time to reconsider the girls school?

[BrightandEarly]

My DD has been offered a place at a boy heavy pre-prep for this Sep, and we are probably going to decline the place for that reason. Similar stats to you - 3 girls in a class of 18.

DD has lots of female friends at nursery and is quite girly. Also I think girls learn a bit differently from boys.

She doesn't have a place yet at the local girl's school but if she is offered one we will take it.

[toothgenie]

A uayp

[toobreathless]

Not quite the same but I avoided our local (very small) state primary for similar reasons. Very boy heavy although small numbers in total it would have been one other girl and 11boys in her year.

We had other concerns about the school, namely 11+ results and that they were teaching three year groups together putting our children potentially in together at least twice (we have three with two year gaps)

I'm not sure I like the sound of the all girls prep either by your description though!

[Enkopkaffetak]

Unlike all the above responses I am all for it. We sent dd2 to a preprep where she was the only girl in a lass of 15. She thrived The school was amazing for her she made friends and was very happy there in the 2 years she was there. She could not follow the boys into year 3 as they were only co ed until year 2 However we have never once regretted it and she thinks of her time in this school with fondness.


She is comfortable talking with boys and making friends with them. I am sure that this is a part of it. Didnt stop her being a girly girl though. I remember a book day where all the boys were coming in as Spiderman and super heros and there as dd1 as Ruby the red fairy. she loved it and the boys just accepted it as that was who she was..

For us and dd2 it was a very possitive experience

[Confused2011]

Thanks, Encop! Our DD is very confident and attention-seeking, so no concerns about her being overlooked in a class of testosterone-fuelled boys! And she would definitely flourish in a nurturing and artistic school like this rather then the very academically pressurised environment in the two nearby girls' schools.

How did anyone else's DDs get on?

[Cressandra]

I am generally in favour of mixed sex schooling but I am not convinced about your argument of girls' schools encouraging/continuing a "stereotyped girly" environment. Some girls' schools have an excellent track record of getting girls into science, tech, cricket... if it is handled right, removing the boys can work very well in removing stereotypes and letting girls just be people. And a small group can be at least as bitchy/cliquey as a big one.

I had a friend who was one of 14 girls at her prep school, many moons ago. She said it was a horrific idea. The only upside was that they all got to be in one of the 2 school netball teams, but it wasn't much of an upside since they lost every single match. I suspect the boys' teams did better, having a much bigger pool to select from. Funnily enough my friend considered herself exceptionally unsporty (just an anecdote, not evidence of course.) As a parent you might look at the other positives of the school and weigh up the trade-off, but your DD won't understand those. All I remember my friend talking about wrt that school was how boy-heavy it was, and what a weird environment it was to grow up in. I don't doubt there are others who positively thrive, and you have to judge if your DD is one of those.

I think fundamentally I hate the idea of putting my DD in a position where just being female is exceptional. There is enough sexism woken into our language and culture - gender neutral language, for example, is important IMO because it acknowledges that being female is just as "default" as being male, it's not an aberration from the norm. Sending her into an environment where she is always in a tiny minority would not be empowering for my DD.