School head passing information to ex partner!

(9 Posts)
Mooreash Tue 23-Feb-16 16:39:42

Long story short.

I raised some serious concerns with the welfare of my children when myself and my ex partner split back in May, i raised these issues with Social Services, who were very unhelpful and also had a meeting with the head of the school, where these issues and issues about my son (2 children, son 7 and daughter 9 at the time!) regarding his delayed learning were brought up.

The issues regarding the welfare included clothes not fitting, general upkeep and an incident where my son had been hurt during a temper tantrum he had (possible aspergers) where a lack of control was demonstrated from her.

My ex partner has a long history of mental illness and the school is well aware of it.

It has now come to light that the head teacher had a long chat with my ex where the subject was raised and laughed about and she was told the details of our private chat.

Im really after the pro rata, what is normal? Is this right? Do i have a leg to stand on with a complaint?

It just seems laughable that i raise issues where i want the school to monitor and keep and eye, discreetly, when they just tell my ex so if she wanted to, she could cover anything up!

It just infuriates me!

Thanks in advance for any replies!

Branleuse Tue 23-Feb-16 16:48:20

you spoke to the school about clothes not fitting and general upkeep? what do you mean? Who has residency?

Also what do you mean she demonstrated lack of control when your child had an autistic tantrum/meltdown??

Are you trying to use her past MH issues against her, because badly fitting clothes and strugging with autistic meltdowns are pretty normal, and probably indicates she could do with support rather than undermining to the childs school

Akire Tue 23-Feb-16 16:55:23

How do you know it was laughed about? I'm pretty sure if you raised issues of neglect im guess that's where your going to both SS and the school that they woulnt have been ignored.

It could be that the head has had a discussion with your ex to discuss an issue for example you say wrong clothing. Quite normal if you don't have much money and your child has sudden growth mid term to look bit scruffy in mean time. If your ex had a reasonable explanation I can see how this may be laughed about. Maybe your son refused to wear new clothes because dosnt look how they look or feel, again v common with special needs.

Again f a child has special needs and hurts themselves this is not a reflection on a the teacher it parent it happens with. Unless you can say 100% they are neglectful and if they had done the same with you you could have prevented it.

PerspicaciaTick Tue 23-Feb-16 16:56:32

What is your overall objective in this?

Stillunexpected Tue 23-Feb-16 17:44:27

Who told you this issue was laughed about? Your ex? How can you be sure that you have been given an objective view of events? What was the outcome of the original meeting with the school about your concerns?

Fairenuff Tue 23-Feb-16 20:31:26

Is there a reason why school staff should not speak to a parent about their child? If there are concerns it would be normal procedure for the head to have a chat with the parent tbh. How else are they supposed to support them?

SparkleSoiree Tue 23-Feb-16 20:33:11

Both parents (as long as both have parental responsibility) are entitled to discuss their children with the school, regardless of residency unless a court order prevents either or both from receiving the information from the school.

ATailofTwoKitties Tue 23-Feb-16 20:40:30

Are you:
trying to raise a complaint about a teacher
trying to raise a complaint about your children's mother
trying to have more access to your children
trying to have main residence of your children?

It's not clear what your aim is here. Delayed learning isn't a welfare issue (though it's certainly an educational concern). Ill-fitting clothes are often a problem with children on the autistic spectrum as they tend to resist chane (she says, understatedly). But it seems that in both cases, the professionals don't see grounds for concern, so I guess your chief concern is/should be your ex-partner's 'lack of control'. Did you mean she loses her temper, or that your son is not under her control?

ATailofTwoKitties Tue 23-Feb-16 20:40:55

chane= change.

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