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Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Primary education

Donning a hard hat to ask this question - "weekly star" awards...

48 replies

2ndSopranosRule · 05/02/2016 15:45

Dd1 is in y3. School has two rewards systems in place: Star of the Week and Good to be Green for good behaviour/citizenship. This is now her fourth year in the school and she's been awarded Good to be Green once. Overlooked in yR, y1 and so far in y3. Several children have had it more than once too - the names are in every weekly newsletter.

I'm told repeatedly that her behaviour is excellent, how she's a fantastic role model, kind, a friend to all, has been picked to mentor another child with communication difficulties etc etc but why can't she ever have the recognition!

I'm already 'that' parent for a variety of reasons but how long to I leave it? I just don't think it's fair!

OP posts:

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SavoyCabbage · 05/02/2016 15:50

Good to be green? It's a funny title. Is an environmental award? Does your dd own a Texan oilfield?

I would mention it as its not on that she is overlooked time and time again.

2ndSopranosRule · 05/02/2016 15:52

I used to think that too but it's for behaviour.

OP posts:

Jesabel · 05/02/2016 15:53

Speak to the teacher, they should be monitoring that every child wins it.

2ndSopranosRule · 05/02/2016 15:53

I don't subscribe to the all must win prizes school of thought but I'm pleased that you think I wouldn't be outrageous to mention it.

OP posts:

OneMagnumisneverenough · 05/02/2016 15:55

Yes, I had invisible children too, they fairly quickly sussed out that it's usually the children who generally misbehave and then pull their socks up for a week that get the rewards. We tended to just not bother about it after that. I would buy them the odd treat as a reward for always being good. I agree it's not fair but i totally understand why they use it.

ExitPursuedByABear · 05/02/2016 15:56

Has she had Star of the Week?

I suffered from this when DD was at primary. I was on the PTA and we were given free tickets to a local soft play. It was agreed that a ticket would be given out each week with the Star of the Week. DD never got one. Some children got several.

It is unfair as it should be monitored to make sure everyone gets a chance.

InQuiteAPickle · 05/02/2016 15:56

Does she get Star of The Week? If she's had Star Of The Week a few times then I'd leave it.

2ndSopranosRule · 05/02/2016 15:57

It doesn't seem to be the case at all that those who misbehave get this award (dd always tells me who has and they aren't those who do).

OP posts:

OneMagnumisneverenough · 05/02/2016 15:58

I didn't go into school to mention it but I did say at a parents night when DS1 was still in the early years and we hadn't sussed it out yet that he was desperate to be star of the week and what did she suggest that he needed to do as it would be motivational for him. She mumbled something about neat writing and lo and behold he got it the next week. As I say, after that we worked out how it worked so didn't bother again.

All being fair, 1 boy in DS2s class (lovely lovely child) should have just been given it every week until the rest realised what they had to do to get it. If I was a teacher I might have tried that :)

2ndSopranosRule · 05/02/2016 16:00

She gets Star of the Week once or twice a year - again, some children get it a lot more.

Star of the Week is usually awarded for excellent homework. This week dd1 was invited to show her work to the Deputy Head as her teacher thought it was that good. No Star of the Week this week.

OP posts:

OneMagnumisneverenough · 05/02/2016 16:00

Glad that doesn't seem to be the case in your school OP.

OneMagnumisneverenough · 05/02/2016 16:02

There are 40 school weeks so each child (in a class of 30) should roughly get a weekly award once a year and some children will get it twice.

If your DD is getting the Star of the Week regularly then i'd leave it - she doesn't sound forgotten tbh.

OneMagnumisneverenough · 05/02/2016 16:04

Our schools reward was name up in the corridor and a tea party with the HT. 8 classes in the school and 1 child per class to the tea party, a few snacks from Tesco and some squash and tea so pretty inexpensive to run and quite an event for the kids.

InQuiteAPickle · 05/02/2016 16:05

It's a shame that some schools just don't do it fairly. My DD1 is in her second school - her first school she was there for 3 years and never got Star of the Week once. She's in her third year at this school and gets it every once in a while. There are quite a few children from each year group that get it too so it takes the head bloody ages to dish out the stickers during rewards assembly😴 so everybody definitely gets a turn a couple of times a term. At her last school it was only one child per class.

Salmiak · 05/02/2016 16:06

I had a chat with the teacher about dd (yr1). Just mentioned that she was a bit upset as all her friends seemed to have filled up their star charts and she hadn't even completed the first line - I said I was wondering if there were any issues with her I should be aware of and just phrased it politely. Lo and behold the next week she came home covered in stickers, got champion of the week etc.

It turns out stars are given as encouragement for good behaviour, trying hard, etc. But as her behaviour is always good and she doesn't need extra incentives to do other stuff (eat all her lunch, put coat on by herself, etc) she was just getting overlooked.... Teachers have so much admin to keep track of that the middleing well behaved kids can get overlooked.

3WiseWomen · 05/02/2016 16:07

I woul have a word.
I wish I had with dc1 who got 'forgotten' from Y4 until he elft in Y6. He is still ressentful about it because he felt overlooked and taken for granted (yes he was too this nce child that wasn't doing anything wrong).
Instead I tried to explain to him WHY it was used etc... (ie it's to try and encourgae children to behave well and so on). His answer is 'Yes but it doesn't work so why can't I get an award too??

OldBeanbagz · 05/02/2016 16:10

I'd probably mention it in passing to the teacher but i would go in specifically to talk to them about it if she's had it a coupld of times.

I have an invisible child too. So much so that despite the school putting a photo of the class stars on the internet every week, the ONE occasion in the last two years that my DS was awarded it, they didn't even bother to take a photo that week.

We have 1½ tems to go at the school. I have just about given up on them now

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 05/02/2016 16:11

Yes DD2 didn't get one when DD and DS both got one the same week - they teased her mercifully - I asked her teacher to give her one to stop the war at home!!!

Wouldn't be overly worried!

Buttercup27 · 05/02/2016 16:12

We keep a list on our school so this doesn't happen.

Buttercup27 · 05/02/2016 16:14

Just a thought but us there more than 32 children in the class? That's the only reason I can think of love for her being missed every year (not enough school weeks in a year so could be missed for the entire time at school)

ExitPursuedByABear · 05/02/2016 16:16

It's weird isn't it, the invisible child. My DD was too. Got on with her work, didn't cause trouble, waited her turn, wasn't pushy, always overlooked.

Now she is a bolshy 16 year old things are very different

Longdistance · 05/02/2016 16:19

I've got a forgotten dc.

She didn't even get star of the week in R, she's in yr1, and still no certificates. She's really well behaved too.

We had to pull the teacher up on her reading books as she was being held back as dd was reading easily. She's sped off with her reading now.

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Twistedheartache · 05/02/2016 16:21

I'm glad someone's asked this because I've been too chicken to!
DD1 only started in Sept in reception so not sure how it works but there are 2 per class per week & she's not won anything yet.
Every week she says I'm going to win next week & I'm trying to play it down but kinda want to mention it at parents evening without being "that" parent!
They've now introduced in the last 2 weeks brain of the day so she's saying it everyday, a star chart merit system where they supposedly get a treat when they get to 10 but she's on 12 and nothing's happened & a class nugget jar where they can win a class party so I really can't keep up!

OneMagnumisneverenough · 05/02/2016 16:28

Every week she says I'm going to win next week & I'm trying to play it down but kinda want to mention it at parents evening without being "that" parent!

I'd just do what we did and say that X is really motivated about trying her hardest to x reward, what do you suggest she needs to do/work on to be in the running?

That way you are not moaning, you are being positive and supportive of the teacher... :o

Twistedheartache · 05/02/2016 16:42

Thanks I will do. I can't imagine she can be invisible from what she says (annoying to a teacher coz she wants to be involved in everything, but a people pleaser so well behaved everywhere apart from school)
I want to wait until there have been enough weeks for everyone to win it because we have got a w surname so if they are making lives easy for themselves she'll be near the end.
Parents evening it is!

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