Moving schools because of bullying

(19 Posts)
Justgetthruthegoddamday Sat 30-Jan-16 21:35:19

We think we've decided to move DD9 from her current school to another because she is being bullied. The school have been taking measures to sort it out and the Head is understanding but we have just found out that two of DD's bestfriends are moving schools for other reasons. This will mean that DD will do her maths and English in a group with just the bully and her bestfriend (it's a tiny school) and there will be nowhere to hide in the playground. There will only be five girls left in the class. I have other niggles about the school but whilst she was happy nothing seemed to warrant a move. Other parents have commented the this is "just what girls do at this age"and it would happen at any school. I find this frustrating because it has been recognised by he school as target and sustained bullying. Has anyone had a similar situation and moved?

shutupandshop Sat 30-Jan-16 21:39:15

Yes we moved Dd2 in year 4 for this reason. We dont regret it. Shes
Much happier. I do think theres some truth in girls of thus age being like this.

Justgetthruthegoddamday Sat 30-Jan-16 21:43:04

Glad it all worked out shutup

shouldwestayorshouldwego Sat 30-Jan-16 21:45:45

Different situation but we moved dd2 and she settled really quickly and we have no regrets.

Muskey Sat 30-Jan-16 21:47:44

We moved dd at the end of year 4 for the same reason. It was only when we changed schools and started seeing how happy our dd was again did we realise how much the bullying had affected her. If you can move your dd the end of year 4 is a good time to do it. Good luck

Sometimesithinkimbonkers Sat 30-Jan-16 21:51:24

We moved DS In year 2 for the same reason. We were moving home anyway and we're waiting for the house to be built. We drove a 50 mile round trip every day ... Worth every penny and all the energy for DS not to spend another day with those vile children!

Justgetthruthegoddamday Sat 30-Jan-16 21:58:46

Thanks so much-great to hear happy stories!

teeththief Sat 30-Jan-16 22:18:55

Another one who moved year 4 DD for similar reasons. I know it's a cliché but she became herself again when we moved her. Its such a worry but I think you know when it's time to call it a day x

HSMMaCM Sun 31-Jan-16 16:36:56

I moved DD in year 2. Best thing I did.

shouldwestayorshouldwego Sun 31-Jan-16 17:25:00

Most people I know who have moved a child say that their only regret was not moving them sooner. Just occasionally a child has moved who was themselves bullying but the parents couldn't see it and they took the problems with them. The other thing to think is how will the next 2.5yrs be if you don't move.

Happymummy007 Sun 31-Jan-16 19:42:07

Your story could have been ours. We moved our DD at the end of Y4 and wished we'd done it a year earlier. In her last year at the old school she was bullied and it was only when she started at her new school that we "got her back" - she'd been quiet and reserved for 9 months while the bullying was going on, but has since come out of her shell again and is the noisy, silly, beautiful girl she was before.

We had nothing to lose, but gained everything when she moved. If you can do it then move your DD, and don't look back.

Foxedme Mon 01-Feb-16 10:53:40

I'm sure you're doing the right thing. I wish I'd let my parents move me! Almost 40 and still bothers me.
I'm considering moving my kids. Both have ended up in dreadful classes, both are shy and overwhelmed at school. But worried about frying pan to fire scenario! An added twist is that I teach at the school!!!!

alltouchedout Mon 01-Feb-16 10:56:57

Yes, move her. I wanted to be moved so much but my parents were against it. One thing I gave always sworn since becoming a parent is that if my child is bullied and the school cannot it will not sort it out to our satisfaction, I will move them.

Toughasoldboots Mon 01-Feb-16 11:00:37

I moved dd in year 3 because of bullying, yes it's a horrible age for this sort of thing but it's how the school desks with it. If it's not dealt with effectively then you have to move.
My dd reverted to her funny personality after about four months, so much happier.

Justgetthruthegoddamday Mon 01-Feb-16 21:01:57

Thank you all. We're going to go for it.

shouldwestayorshouldwego Mon 01-Feb-16 22:06:49

Good luck, come back and update us. I really hope she finds some nice friends and enjoys the rest of primary school.

Dreamimgofmyholiday Sun 07-Feb-16 13:34:13

My som was also in a tiny school until December.Two class were thought together.He was subjected to the most awful bullying,ignored by the staff(as most people at the school were not teachers I can't call them that).We gave our notice in and found him a great new school but had to stay for the notice period for financial reasons.This was a hugh mistake.The school didn't even speak to two of the boy's parents( one has two siblings at the school so they were not going to updset them).

The headmaster told my son after one particularly bad beating by the three boys " there will be boys like this at all schools" he also told him not to tell anyone.I told the headmaster what I thought about him school which was also failing children on all others levels.My son left early( this was a boy achieving years above his age,thanks to me not the school)

During the Christmas holiday my son told us about more events at the school.I have spoken to social services and they believe the police should be involved.The school was issued with a notice to improve to in June 2014,parents were not informed.Also Now know they had an unannounced inspection by ofstead in Nov of this year which they failed.

The school is family owned and has about 55 public(they spend long periods of the day on what they call free time which can't help behaviour)I now why it's a tiny school and will be taking matters further as schools such as this one would never be allowed to stay open if they were state schools they be closed down.

I hope things work out for you and your daughter.Feel free to private message me if I can be any help.
My son knows we feel we let him down badly but also we will give him whatever support he needs.He is settling in his new school and has already begun to make friends.The new school is in a different league.

Dreamimgofmyholiday Sun 07-Feb-16 17:45:08

I would love to hear from anyone who successfully supported their dd or ds through the aftermath of bullying.As I know it can have such damaging long term effects on young children.

neuroticnicky Mon 08-Feb-16 11:23:26

Agree with the other posters that you should move her. My best friend's DD was being bullied at her expensive private day school and she moved her in Year 5. It is hard to overestimate the psychological effect of bullying on young children and an unhappy child will not perform as well. My friend's DD's happiness and academic performance both improved immeasurably immediately after she moved.

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