Anyone else worrying about their DC starting reception in September?

[ThatsNotMyHouseItIsTooClean]

DS turns 4 at the end of May. He has always been towards the bottom of the normal developmental range but never at the stage of needing formal intervention.
His speech has blossomed since he turned 3 and he now speaks in sentences most of the time although a lot of what he says is unclear to strangers.
He can now name most colours, can identify about half of the numbers 1-9, can identify three letters, can count up to 60 and down from 10, is getting some pen control although usually scribbles. He has no idea about phonics and doesn't get it at all when we play i-spy or rhyming games.
He is fully toilet trained, can eat with cutlery (irrelevant actually as his school don't offer hot meals), is very good at sitting and listening and good at taking turns. At nursery, I know he can change his trousers & things but refuses to at home so we have spent the holidays practising and he gets a smartie for each item of clothing he puts on.
I feel as though I am constantly worrying about his development rather than enjoying him. Activities we do at home all have a focus, mainly small motor skills & letter recognition at the moment. People keep telling me it's "a boy thing" and perfectly normal but I'm just not sure if it is. I feel as though he is going to have to change dramatically in the next 8 months to be in a state to hand him over to a reception teacher!
DC1 is an autumn born girl, knew all of her phonics, could blend cvc words & has flown through school. DS is going to be in such a different position and it just worries me.
Any advice?

[louisejxxx]

To be honest he doesn't sound behind at all! Everything you have described sounds like he would manage just fine to me. He will not be the only one who doesn't know all his letters, but in other areas, particularly numbers and self-care he sounds absolutely fine.

[Pipbin]

Stop worrying. Good heavens woman if you are worrying now you are going to be a wreck in September.
I teach reception and your DS sounds like he is more than fine to me. I had children start reception not knowing their own names, not toilet trained and unable to count beyond 3.
Honestly he sounds fine but if you carry on like this he is going to pick up on your stress and become worried about it.

[bojorojo]

You may be spending the rest of your life worrying that your children are not the same! He sounds fine to me. He has another 8 months to go before starting school, so why are you so worried? Girls can often seem more "ahead" but boys have their own strengths and I don't think boy/girl siblings are always comparable in their developmental stages. Chill out and enjoy him!

[OryxNotCrake]

He doesn't sound behind at all, honestly. In fact, I'd say that he sounds right on track. I really see no reason to worry.

[catkind]

Gosh, nothing to worry about there. DS had no phonics and couldn't hold a pencil when he started school. Writing was a hard slog but he's complimented on it now (yr 2). Phonics he just flew. He was in top groups for everything by spring term (I didn't even realise they were in groups but that's what his teacher said).

DD who's starting in September is a completely different story. If we'd had her first I expect we'd have worried too. He'll be fine! And September's a long way off.

[carbcraver]

my DD is a September baby and starts in September, he sounds on a par with her (and I thought she was bright!!) don't think she could count to 60 though...

stop worrying. He'll be fine!!

[AnnoyedByAlfieBear]

I've been worrying about my ds too. He's a July baby and is at about the same level as yours (marginally better at some things, worse at others). This thread has really re-assured me!

[NotCitrus]

That sounds pretty good to me! I'm not worried about dd at all, but then ds will have been at the school for 3 years, she loves going to events there and is already dragged there twice a day, and will shortly start nursery there.

Also its a school with a wide mix of kids and a third of the class didn't speak more than a few words of English to start with (probably another third have a parent who didn't). So if he can manage the toilet, can speak and understand English at a 2-3yo level, and recognise his coat, it should be fine if the teaching team are half decent. And if the teacher is a bit rubbish, it's not your child who is the problem!

My tip is to attach a funky key ring to all bags, that your child will recognise, and label all items with pen, with name and child's class, as then they tend to end up back in the classroom and found. And if it's a longer walk to school than your child is used to, start building up walks now - they will be tired after school if if previously they coped with 8-6 day care. Injecting food once they are outside the school gate really helps.

We told ours that school was like nursery only bigger and better, and ds and friends agreed that was true.

[Mandzi34]

Oh crikey, if your DS is behind then mine has a serious problem! DS1 could barely hold a pencil, didn't know any letters really and I'm not sure what he could count to. DD was the same. By the end of Year 2 both were flying. DS2 is 4 at the beginning of April and so lazy. He refuses to write anything although loves numbers. He can feed himself and is toilet trained. That's about it!

[Pengweng]

My DTs start Reception Sep 16 and will have just turned four in the Aug. They attend the nursery attached to the school 5 mornings a week and are fine however i think one will struggle not with the tasks (as both quite good at number and letter recognition and both can write their own name etc) but with the length of day. They start at 8.45am and finish at 3.15pm so it is a really long day for them. I am anticipating lots of tantrums and tiredness for the first term or so. She is also not toilet trained yet though we are desperately working on it (other DT has been toilet trained for nearly a year) both at home and at nursery. So that is the bit i am worrying/panicing about!!

[Lovewearingjeans]

Don't know if this reassures, but my DS2 is a May baby. He stared school in the Summer term , just before he was five. He found school a struggle, even though he had been in childcare since he was a baby. In fact he stayed in reception for another year, and then went straight into year 2 afterwards, struggling with writing especially. He is now in year 5 and about to join year 6 for maths with two others in his class, so even children who really struggle at first, change so much during primary school. He can't play football or ride a bike, but that is a whole other thread! He was a late toilet trainer too.

[Lovewearingjeans]

I think what I am saying, is that you can't judge the rest of their time in Primary school, from how they might get on in reception.

[GiddyOnZackHunt]

Ds was still in nappies on medical advice this time last year. No interest in phonics or mark making.
He started reception in September wearing pants and is in the top phonics group! Right up until Easter I was worried but it all came good :)

[Ferguson]

Having been a primary Teaching Assistant for twenty years, I really don't think you need to worry, as children start school with a very wide range of skills - or LACK of them!

Is he happy at nursery, and able to follow instructions, take turns in games or activities, and play with other children in a civilized way? Those are the important things at first.

Read to him as much as possible; keep TV to a minimum, but share it with him, ask him what's happening, or might happen.

Is the nursery connected to the school he will go to?

[ChampagneTastes]

Yep, panicking in extremis. My DS is a July baby and although he knows his letters and numbers pretty well he will not stop shitting in his pants (and did a wee on the floor today just to mix things up a bit). We have honestly been working really hard to potty train him for the last SIX MONTHS and I'm terrified he won't have got it before school.

You can at least console yourself that if your DS is struggling with his letters, more people will notice the kid sat in his own faeces a couple of rows back.

[GiddyOnZackHunt]

champagne see my post above. Honestly we had had a disastrous struggle with toileting that ended in impaction, uncontrolled soiling, movicol and nappies. Once we had him back on an even keel we tried again at Easter and it really wasn't reliable until the summer.

[DreamingOfAFullNightsSleep]

My dts start in September. I am panicking. One has bad separation anxiety. He has so far failed to settle into preschool and hasn't started yet. He has never stayed anywhere without me and is extremely reluctant for me to go anywhere without him. He is using the toilet but not wiping himself for a poo. He can feed himself. His twin has similarly not been to preschool- he might have settled but has maybe learnt to be scared due to his twin.

The anxious one has good pen control. Can't write letters but is a neat colourer. The other has poor pen control. They can count to 10. One can dress himself. The other can't

I am very worried about September. My DD is in Reception now and I wasn't half a storied about physical things/ separation anxiety with her.

[Naty1]

Dd1 starts sept 2016, june birthday.
Im anxious. Several reasons. Only recently PT (oct) so still an odd accident. And very poor wiping.
Mainly behavioural though.
So naughtiness at home and preschool.
Doesnt listen. Wont dress herself, without lot of trying to distract me.
Also she still naps often especially preschool days and as she doesnt sleep there her naughiness escalates.
Also she has been constantly ill so actually only been there 70% of the time and only from sept as summer birthday. So its hard to get a routine going.
I think all kids should maybe get 4 terms at nursery (15hrs) rather than some get 5 to others 3. Of course the youngest will be the least prepared. The sept -dec borns will have been a yr already when we go back next week.
Im not too concerned about educational preparations as
She wont hold the pencil anyway
She muddles up some teen numbers
But is fine with letter sounds and can spell/read some words
Oh and she wont sit still.
She is going to be a delight to teach
Kids seem to be asynchronous.
If they do everything else.. They dont sleep
It annoys me she will be so young/much younger as with another 11m she might have outgrown the behaviour.

[Whatsinaname2011]

He sounds very similar to my ds who will also turn 4 end of May. You know reception is optional??

We aren't putting our son in for reception he will stay st nursery for another year and start year 1 aged 5. My friend just did this with her July baby and it worked well.

Don't put him in reception if you don't feel he is ready

[Lovewearingjeans]

Dreaming were your twins prem? Because that can have an impact on their development. I also work as a TA and the first half term is spent getting used to school. My advice would be to try preschool again, as the ratios are lower, and it is easier if he needs a lap to get settled. You can claim for all five sessions, but only use two or three and build up. Because unless you home school, they will have to go, and it is easier the younger you do it.

[DreamingOfAFullNightsSleep]

No, the boys weren't prem, 37+6 planned section. I am persevering with preschool. They do an afternoon at school too, every Monday til July so they will be used to it,and it's a 15 intake school so small class at least (for reception, then composite classes) .

One twin is now staying at preschool happily. Just the one with severe separation anxiety to go. It's a shame. I just don't think he's ready to be away from me, but my dh is adamantly opposed to home.ed so I'm a bit stuck. I would love to have them at home and follow a more flexible education for them

[ThatsNotMyHouseItIsTooClean]

I just wanted to come back & say how reassuring I found it to read your responses.
We have made some progress as, after a lot of bribery with chocolate coins, DS can now dress himself although we will need to work on things like turning clothes the right way round and not discarding things wherever takes his fancy. He is also showing some interest in letters. On the flip side, he has reverted to napping for 45 mins a day and keeps muddling his colours.
Yes, I do know reception is optional but I think it can be a valuable experience and, on balance, I think he will benefit more from a year at school than another year at home/nursery. I did look into delaying his start in reception by 12mths but our LEA are very inflexible on that.