Dd is 6, in year 2. She has always loved school, worked really hard, enjoyed her schoolwork and been keen to do her homework.
This year they are doing their spellings slightly differently. They have fewer words to learn, but part of the homework - and the test, is to come up with two sentences that include at least one of the spellings for that week.
Fwiw, I think this is a good idea, as I know from one of my older dses that he can spell really well and easily passed all his spelling tests in primary school, but still spells things wrong in his classwork. So, I think it's a great idea for them to think about how and where to use the words appropriately, as well as spelling them correctly.
The issue we've been having is that, despite getting all her spelling words right and spelling them and all the other words correctly in her two sentences, she hasn't been given full marks (required for their merit mark system) for various reasons. Eg, one week she lost one mark as she'd over-written a word and the teacher couldn't read it (fair enough, she needs to learn to correct things clearly and make sure her work is readable - we discussed this, she understood and was ok with it). Another week it was because her, clearly capital letter (as in the shape is very different than the lower case letter) wasn't big enough. Then this week she's dropped a mark and missed out on her merit mark again, because her 'f' wasn't long enough and didn't go under the line she was writing on.
She's trying so hard not to make a fuss, but is actually really upset. She's losing interest in learning her spellings, because even if she gets them all right, she still isn't getting full marks on the test. Last year she got a merit mark for all except one spelling test, where she had to learn 12 words and get them correct in a random order on test day. She's gone from coming home and voluntarily getting her spelling workbook out straight after her snack, to having to be told and then being really reticent and downcast about it. (I can understand her point of view. If it's a spelling test, then to not get full marks for 100% correct spellings is actually quite hard for young children to accept.)
We've had a talk and I have explained to her that it's important for her to make sure her work is neat and readable and that she's formed her letters correctly and then she'll start getting the full marks and she understands, but at the same time she's already demotivated, which is so sad, especially this early in the school year.
According to dd, the test and marking is done by the TA, not her teacher, although her teacher does have a bit of a rep for being strict, so could well be checking and upholding the marking. We have parents' evening next week and I don't know whether to mention it or not. I think it's important that the teacher knows that dd is rapidly losing her enthusiasm for homework as a result of this, but don't want her to think I am being precious, because I'm really not, I just want to find a way to motivate dd and keep her keen. It's horrible seeing her so downcast about her schoolwork after three years of loving it and doing very well.
... and here comes the complication.
What makes things even more difficult is that my reputation proceeds me at the school, after a lengthy fight to get my oldest dc assessed, diagnosed and properly supported there.
This particular teacher taught my middle dc a few years back and when I had to make an appointment with her to discuss a health issue that he'd been diagnosed with, I was confronted by both her and a more senior teacher, who in a very obviously set-up, knocked the door just after the meeting started to ask if dd's teacher 'needed help'. She then came in, took over and started the meeting by holding her hand up and telling me that 'before I said anything', she wanted to point out that dc2 was not dc1 and didn't have Autism, so 'I needn't start with that'. Dd's teacher was relatively new to the school at the time and I can understand that I was probably a hot-topic in the staffroom at around that time, so she might have felt the need for back-up, but I felt ambushed and to be honest went home and cried because of how confrontational the meeting was, when it should have been a quick, innocuous meeting after school to just let them know ds had been identified as having a chronic pain condition and would be having a few tests, as well as keeping pain meds in school.
Ds1, the one that has ASD, hasn't been at the school for two years (just going into the third year since he left now). So, I try to keep my head down and so far, have rarely had a need to speak to dd or dc2's teachers about anything significant since he left. (Dc2 moved up to secondary this September, so dd is the only one of my dcs left at the school.)
I find it really hard to deal with some teachers there though, as they are always on the defensive, which is unfair, as my fight was not with any one of them, it was with the Local Authority and SENCO and as time has now proven I was actually justified in my fight, as my dc turned out to have significant enough needs for the LA to place him, uncontested, in an out of county independent placement. Everything was done officially, by the book and I have never raised my voice or been confrontational with a member of staff - excluding one time when I was in a meeting with the HT and SENCO and desperately trying to get them to deal with a gang of boys that were seriously beating up and publicly humiliating dc every playtime. I have the greatest respect for teachers, I think they do a bloody hard job, that I don't think I could do, but I seem to be public enemy no1 at the school for, justifiably, making sure my Autistic child was diagnosed and properly supported.
The thing is, I think I am now constantly hesitating to deal with things that other parents might just have a quick chat with their dcs' teacher about, because of my history with the school and that's not fair on dd. Essentially I suppose I have lost my confidence around communicating with the school, which is bonkers, as I have had dcs there for over 10 years now and until my eldest's assessment and statementing etc, always got on very well with the staff.
So, how do I mention this issue to the teacher without it coming over as a criticism of her methods, because I do think we need to do something to deal with dd's demoralisation and loss of enthusiasm? It's so unlike her to be this down about school. BUT I'm not even sure what they can do and am reluctant to rock the boat if it's just going to further damage my relationship with the teacher and serve no useful purpose. In which case dd will just have to suck it up and I have to accept that her loss of enthusiasm for homework is just collateral damage.
Fundamentally, I suppose I'm asking - would you raise something like this with the teacher and if so, bearing in mind my history with the school, how?
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Complicated issue re dd and spelling homework (long, sorry)
25 replies
moosemama · 09/10/2015 18:45
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