Reading 5x a week (I have a reluctant reader)- when do you do it and how?

(29 Posts)
SaloonBalloon Thu 10-Sep-15 20:40:05

My DD is 7. Despite the fact that I read to her a lot until she decided she didn't want bedtime stories any more at around 6.5, my DD has always been a reluctant reader. Until recently she was about a year behind. I am supposed to be reading with her 5 times a week but she never wants to read to me and I find it difficult to compel her as I don't want to turn her off reading completely.

Mornings before school are usually a bit of a rush trying to get myself and two children ready for school ( I am a SP with shared care).

After school I am usually managing her behaviour until bedtime as she is often tired and grumpy and prone to meltdown on occasion. When she comes in I like her to sit and relax/watch TV or play with her sister until teatime. After teatime if I ask her to read again she normally refuses or procrastinates and says "tomorrow".

At the weekend, I could try and set some time aside to hear both children read ( her younger sister is an early reader) so that is a possibility. We do usually have a period sat round the table, writing, drawing or doing art and craft.

I'm curious though.... what do you do? It maybe once you have an independent reader they take off and start to read for pleasure ( which is what I'm hoping will happen some day) but I'm concerned that it won't happen by osmosis.... it's up to me to make her an independent reader by practising.

HoursTurnIntoDays Thu 10-Sep-15 21:00:13

DS is 5 and hates when I say he has to read but I force him to do it.

I find he kicks up a big song and dance but once he starts the first sentence he forgets he doesn't want to do it and just starts reading

He's come on hugely in the last 2 months. He really enjoys the Songbirds books - once the story is interesting or funny he wants to read it to find out what happens.

Is there something your child is interested in that they would enjoy reading about?

I make DS earn rewards by reading - like a cartoon or a trip to the playground.

If he completes a level of his books he gets a little toy - so that motivates him too

I found forcing him to read has not put him off reading - he enjoys being able to read even though he's learnt it against his will

Hillfog Thu 10-Sep-15 21:08:17

My DD (5) often sits in the kitchen and reads aloud to me while I am making the tea at 5pm. She has time to play before that so doesn't usually argue.

reni2 Thu 10-Sep-15 21:10:30

Reading little and often did it for us. No screen at all before reading, 3 minutes every day right after getting in (or stop on a bench on the way home) are easier done than a massive session on the weekend for me.

TeenAndTween Thu 10-Sep-15 21:12:17

I found that DD2 was more receptive to reading before school.

So we do it after breakfast before school.
Have done since reception and DD2 is now in y6.

Shift your whole schedule forward 15 minutes, 10 mins for DC1 and 5 for DC2. Or even get DC1 to listen to DC2 sometimes.

SaloonBalloon Thu 10-Sep-15 21:12:26

Thank you for the ideas. I suppose I just need her to know that it's mandatory. At the moment she knows she can get out of it.

SaloonBalloon Thu 10-Sep-15 21:14:25

"Is there something your child is interested in that they would enjoy reading about?"

She will sometimes unprompted read the stories in the magazines she likes.

I agree little and often the way to go probably.

reni2 Thu 10-Sep-15 21:16:23

I needed to make clear to dc that any time spent sulking or arguing about homework is taken out of playtime/ screentime not out of homework time.

Minicaters Thu 10-Sep-15 21:44:45

We read to them every bedtime and ask them to read the odd bit here and there - anything from a word to a page depending on their level & what book it is. we read whatever grabs them now. DD aspired to read rainbow magic like her friends so we read that to her for bloody ages before she could really do it herself. When they were younger, we'd start with a bit of their reading book.

If they didn't want to read I would have them run their finger under the text while I read, or just say all the 'a's or the main character's name while I do the rest. It means they have to follow the text as I read, which is still practising. They were a bit younger than your DD then, although DS still loves to do the character's name thing occasionally.

SweepTheHalls Thu 10-Sep-15 21:48:18

No screens of any type until reading is done in this house smile. Seems to work as it takes the conflict out if it. You don't have to read if you don't want.... but there won't be any TV or tablet.

PrincessHairyMclary Thu 10-Sep-15 21:52:55

You could try a visual timer (egg timer etc) so that she knows she is going to read for a fixed amount of time.

Also try some audio books at night and get the matching books so she can read along.

We sit after dinner with a warm drink and maybe a little treat and take it in turns to read sentences/paragraphs.

I work as a TA and have spent a lot of this week listening to children in yrs 7-10 read this week. Admittedly they are lower ability students but I can't recommend reading to her more. It's hugely important to read to her and model good reading skills, appropriate reading of punctuation/ putting emphasis on certain words etc so many of the student I have heard this week don't have those skills yet.

reni2 Fri 11-Sep-15 09:48:41

I also smuggle in some reading, I will buy a game or craft set but won't read the instructions, suggest cooking a favourite meal and have the child read out the recipe, look up something on wikipedia and have dc read it to me.

Keeptrudging Fri 11-Sep-15 10:00:58

She's really young to have stopped bedtime stories, which is a real shame as this is when children get to listen to stories they enjoy and it helps to build a love of reading/desire to learn to read for themselves. I would reinstate that as a non - negotiable part of bedtime routine, it makes a huge difference.

Reading homework - straight away, before anything else. Then it's done and dusted and she can relax/play and school is then 'finished', rather than having to drag her back to it once she's switched off.

Cedar03 Fri 11-Sep-15 11:35:35

I would just say that this year (teacher) has said they must do it. (So it is not about you telling them, if you see what I mean). This has helped us in the past. My daughter started in Year 3 last year and she decided when she wanted to do her homework and planned it out. You could do the same - so ask her when she wants to do the reading - first thing in the morning or in the afternoon. Then stick to this.

I've done volunteer reading with year 3 children. Those who are struggling are a lot more reluctant to get started and want to stop at a certain point regardless of where they are in the story, or even on a page - whereas those who are reading better want to keep going because they are enjoying the story.

Getting her to read instructions, or comics, or from magazines or anything at all are really good tips.

Twinkie1 Fri 11-Sep-15 11:40:33

DS hates reading but is coming along leaps and bounds since someone suggested I read a page and then he does. It seems to break the monotony a bit and make it a little more bearable.

foolonthehill Fri 11-Sep-15 11:48:43

with my reluctant reader I did "stealth reading"....reading disguised as something else...

eg Liked baking so we read the receipe and baked
liked sticking/sewing so we read the instructions for a collage/make
liked elephants so I printed off some short sentences of facts (only occasionally I am not supermum)

I also did not do it every day...not predictable so we didn't get the "it's time to do reading" anxiety and fight. (exhausting)

Dc1 became an independent confident reader at 7
DC2 was slow off the mark but now consumes books but not til age 10
DC3 was an extremely competent reader from an early age but hated reading stories and would only look at guinness wr books etc (and in case of stereotypes she is a girl btw) until now aged 11 she has found a series she likes!
DC4 loved books from the start and would do reading any and every time asked...but slowed down and reads much less currently.

have lots of printed material around (children's national geographic, books, library books, atlases, comics) and pick up and put down and chat about what you read...no pressure...just make it fun for you all.

atticusclaw2 Fri 11-Sep-15 11:48:51

I think she's way too young to have stopped bedtime stories. My DS2 is 8 and still has them (in fact DS1 who is 10 does too!). I would find an exciting age appropriate book (and decent) and get her to help you read it. Something like Mrs Frisby and the Rats of Nimh, Kaspar Prince of Cats, the George books by Stephen Hawkings, a Roald Dahl that she hasn't read, the Spiderwick Chronicles etc. You read a couple of pages and then you maker her read a paragraph or two, then keep taking it in turns (stopping at a really exciting point so that she is desperate for the next instalment the following evening).

It's just as important that you read to her and let her hear the language, the expression, the differing tone of your voice, the pauses for dramatic effect etc as it is that she reads aloud to you.

In our house it is the rule (and always has been since the DS's were little) that they read aloud for 15-20 minutes every single night before their story is then read to them. It's a relaxed and important time for us as a family.

BathshebaDarkstone Fri 11-Sep-15 11:53:33

DD does hers before bedtime. I just can't do it before then because DS is a PITA who tries to grab the book. He goes to bed an hour before her. smile

maizieD Fri 11-Sep-15 12:13:06

Just wondering if she actually finds reading difficult?

reni2 Fri 11-Sep-15 12:20:39

Lots of good advice, Cedar has a good point, tell her the teacher said she must read daily. I sometimes use the "ok, no homework, you will have to tell Miss Superstrict and Miss Believesinyou tomorrow that you just didn't feel like it".

PurpleSkyatthewateringhole Fri 11-Sep-15 12:24:58

We have specific times and places when I know the DC are more receptive. Three times a week we go to bed at 7:30/8pm and snuggle in my bed, they're allowed a DVD if they read to me first. Other mornings are before school (we drive to school so if we are there at 8:30, they have time to read in the car). Spellings however....I still have to figure out.

PlayingSolitaire Fri 11-Sep-15 12:37:06

With my reluctant reader, we have a snack and then walk home from school. Once home, he immediately has to read to me for 5 minutes (plus to the end of the chapter or paragraph depending on the book, otherwise he will stop mid sentence!). We put a timer on for this.

Another tactic would be to arrive at school 10 minutes early and read in the car. I see this very often at the school. It works well as it is quiet and there are no distractions there. I suppose it could also work if you read for 5 minutes in the car immediately after school- no driving home until it's done.

When DS was slightly younger, we read immediately after school and when he had finished, he got a chocolate coin as a bribe.

I found the mornings were too stressful for reading and bedtime he was just too tired so we found the time that suited us and him.

We tried all the stealth reading and softly softly and trying to establish a love of reading, but it didn't work for my DS. His reading has really come on since the reading became established and because he knows that this is what happens every day, he does it without fuss now. However, he is a child who likes timetables and rules so this might be why this works for him.

W00t Fri 11-Sep-15 12:42:14

Have bedtime stories stopped because of dealing with your other child? How old is DC2, perhaps we could suggest books they can both enjoy listening too.
If she likes comics/ magazines, go with those where possible too.

Mitzi50 Fri 11-Sep-15 12:54:11

Do you feel she is on the right level book? Reading at home should be practising skills already taught - so about 95% accuracy. If her accuracy is below about 90% the book is too hard for her to read to you independently.

If she wants to read a book to you that is too hard, you could try paired reading - you both read the text simultaneously - if she wants to read a bit on her own she signals for you to,stop, you join in again automatically if she gets stuck on a word.

SaloonBalloon Fri 11-Sep-15 20:35:27

Thanks for all the responses.

To clarify, bedtime stories stopped around the time I split with my partner. In our new flat, the DC share. I read with DD2 because she goes to bed first. I then couldn't read with DD1 in the same room because DD2 was asleep.

Instead I tried to snuggle on sofa with her or in my bed but because there are a few issues in my relationship with DD1 ( sibling rivalry, her insecurity/poss attachment issues), she thought I was giving preferential treatment to DD2 and insisted I switch on light and read in her bedroom. I couldn't as I didn't want to wake DD2. In my mind DD1 was getting special time with me/staying up later.

Anyway as a result of this she said she didn't want stories any more. I have tried to initiate them at other times.

Other issue is I used to borrow loads of new picture books every week at library but picture books are now a bit young for her. She doesn't however like me to read chapter books as she wants to see pictures!

Yes she does find reading difficult (conversationally she is very articulate) and I keep thinking I must be to blame for not pushing her. She was until recently a year behind. (but there were emotional/behavioural things that to me took priority) She is now at national target level. But school don't seem unduly worried. They say she's in the middle.

I've always had a lot of books, grown up with books and I always limited their screen time. They do watch TV after school ( they are not really fit for much else when they first get in) and before bed but they don't have tablets and at weekends they do lots of creative stuff.

She loves role play and creative play and has a good imagination but she is also young for her age (school also commented on this) and part of me thinks it's a developmental thing.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now