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Starting school still in nappies...?

(12 Posts)
MrsWolowitz Wed 27-Aug-14 21:26:06

My DTs are starting school in September and they are still in nappies.

They've not long turned 4 and have a bowel disorder meaning that they poo themselves several times daily. They are undergoing tests at hospital and are on various medications.

I'm so worried about it. The school are aware and will deal with changing their pull-ups which is brilliant. I just feel so sad that the other children will see when they get changed for p.e and when they're wearing skirts and jumping around the other kids will see and might tease them. Also they don't know when they've pooed so they can be smelly until the teacher notices and changes them.

Anyone else been in this situation? Feeling very worried and sad at the moment about my little babies being thrust into a situation that they may not be very ready for.

On the plus side they go to preschool and have friends and can't wait to start school so they're not worried.

ouryve Wed 27-Aug-14 21:33:12

Both of my boys have ASD and started school in nappies (DS2 still is, but he's so not self conscious!)

Are trousers or leggings a possibility, to minimise pull up flashing? I know a few girls who wear short leggings under their school skirts because they like wearing skirts, but would rather cover up a little, so if uniform strictness doesn't preclude that possibility, it may be something to try. Next and M&S both do plain legging style cycle shorts in their boys' uniform range - might be perfect for covering up a pull up until it's warm enough for tights.

UniS Wed 27-Aug-14 21:33:39

Can your girls wear pants over pull ups? Just to make them less obvious when the girls do that 4 year old thing of sitting legs akimbo in assembly or class or rolling around the playground with skirts over their heads.

Its quite common for small girls at our local school to wear knee length leggings under their summer frock. Or for them to wear shorts or trousers.

Passmethecrisps Wed 27-Aug-14 21:33:54

I am not surprised you are worried - it sounds like such a big leap.

However, think of it this way. Your twins leap around and are excited and don't care. The other children will be the same. At some point down the line other children will notice and difference will be challenging but your children might have no issue by that time or might themselves have developed strategies to cope.

The school will more than likely have dealt with similar and so hopefully your worry is interest paid for a debt your don't yet have!

Best of luck

ouryve Wed 27-Aug-14 21:35:06

Also - on PE day, if they're wearing skirts, they could wear their PE shorts under their skirts to make getting changed less embarrassing for them, if that's how they would feel.

MrsWolowitz Wed 27-Aug-14 21:37:52

Thanks for the replies.

They're so young. They can't even do up or undo buttons.

We've been practising but they find it a bit impossible tricky.

I don't want them to struggle or be unhappy. I could cry I'm so worried sad

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig Wed 27-Aug-14 21:38:12

There was a little boy in dd2s class who had been kept back a year because of his additional needs. He was in pull-ups and none of the kids batted an eyelid. They just don't worry and then they get used to it.

Passmethecrisps Wed 27-Aug-14 21:45:52

Crying is ok. I am a secondary teacher and parents still cry - it is fine.

Engage closely with the staff and ensure there are regular reviews and updates. Primary teachers will be very attuned to the children getting older and more aware of difference so as long as the relationship is there you will be able to plan together for every stage.

ladybirdandsnails Wed 27-Aug-14 22:41:43

Get culottes. M&S, Asda etc do them. They won't then flash anything. Loads of girls at our school have them and did so in nursery. They can just pull them down as elasticated waists etc Get trousers in winter

dontknowwhat2callmyself Wed 27-Aug-14 23:01:17

I'm guessing the TA will help your dd's with changing pull ups? My dd has additional needs and wasn't toilet trained till 5 yrs old. She has her own TA who I know was very discreet when changing her and would take her out of the classroom to get changed for PE. To be honest at that age the other kids were too busy getting themselves changed to even notice Dd had gone out of the class.

If you are worried about their privacy maybe mention it to their teacher.

Also agree about wearing dark coloured cycling shorts under skirts or dresses or would trousers be an option.

Also when I sent in pull ups and wipes I put them in a toiletries bag so they weren't obvious.

It's lovely to hear they are looking forward to school.

RiversideMum Thu 28-Aug-14 08:12:54

It's worth remembering that there will probably be several children in the class without medical issues who still wear pull-ups at night. And there will likely be someone that wets themselves a lot during the day too and probably someone on movicol who has poo accidents. Reception staff are very used to dealing with toilet issues in a sensitive way. The children are generally very accepting and are curious, rather than mean, about differences.

NynaevesSister Thu 28-Aug-14 08:24:48

What the others have said. In reception nearly half the class will have accidents in the first week. Some will do so daily. The same number again aren't going to be able to do up buttons. They are four years old. It is OK. The other children aren't even likely to notice. They spend half the day in free play running in and out of the classroom. Get to know your TA and have some really good chats with her through out the first few weeks. Also make sure you chat with the SENCo. Don't worry about sounding silly or emotional. The teachers are used to it. Far more parents cry on them the children do.

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