is my DS bright or normal? Not a stealth boast

(102 Posts)
doineedhelp Mon 18-Aug-14 08:51:31

So, i have 1 child, DS 3.5 years old. Everyone is always telling me how bright he is and that i need to make sure he goes to a good school or else he will get bored and fall behind etc, but as he is my 1 and only i have no idea if he is bright or a normal 3.5 year old.

He is obssesed with numbers and could count to 10 by 19months, he can currently count to over 100. Likewise he knows all of his alphabet, colours, shapes, can spell quite a few words on his own, is beginning to write letters and numbers and can do simple subtraction and addition using fingers etc.

So, is this normal or is he gifted as people keep telling me. I'm worried that if he is very bright then boredom at school will lead to bad behaviour eventually - why is there always something to worry about?

Any advice welcomed, thanks

MirandaWest Mon 18-Aug-14 08:54:05

I'd say he's bright. From my experience of having a couple of bright children, neither of them have got bored in school - they've just continued learning more.

Acolyte Mon 18-Aug-14 08:59:32

Yes, he sounds bright but school should differentiate so he doesn't get bored.

He may struggle with early years as it is very much play based. My dd didn't flourish until year 1 when more formal learning was introduced. She disliked nursery and in her eyes EYFS was just another year of that.

doineedhelp Mon 18-Aug-14 08:59:46

Thanks Miranda, he is ready for reading and writing i think but i haven't a clue about phonics etc and worried i'll get it wrong but then i worry that i should encourage his natural eagerness to learn (i think i need some additional schooling!)

So your children weren't always waiting for the other children to catch up?

doineedhelp Mon 18-Aug-14 09:01:49

Thanks Acolyte, that's good to know. Luckily he loves nursery although he is often in the book corner or on the computer! I have no clue about how primary school works so i guess i need to research the local schools a bit

God, this parenting malarkey is bloody hard work!

Snapespotions Mon 18-Aug-14 09:04:01

Bright but within the range of normal. He'll be fine. smile

Rabbitcar Mon 18-Aug-14 09:23:14

My DDs could read fairly fluently etc. by 3.5, and there were one or two other good readers before they started school. Their non academic school seemed fine at differentiating the differing needs of the children, so I am sure your son will be fine.

doineedhelp Mon 18-Aug-14 09:30:42

thanks everyone, its good to know that grin

RiversideMum Mon 18-Aug-14 09:30:44

Bright, but not unusually so. My warning would be not to focus on solely rewarding achievement on what are seen as "academic" things. I have had bright children come into my reception class who have spent a lot of time doing workbooks but find it hard to apply themselves to other areas. They can be quite inhibited and worried about taking part in open ended activities. Learning to take risks with their thinking is very important for later success.

NorksEnormous Mon 18-Aug-14 09:35:12

He sounds bright, my DS is 4.4 yo and is just starting the addition and subtraction now.

NotCitrus Mon 18-Aug-14 09:35:13

Bright but also normal. My ds was similar and has loved school - I was worried about a large school but it has meant there are other kids like him (bit geeky, bright, hate football) and he has a bunch of friends as well as nearby kids he doesn't mind. Nursery and school have helped make sure his social skills and creativity are developed and appreciated just as much.

doineedhelp Mon 18-Aug-14 09:44:22

Luckily he has fab social skills, loves playing with other children, painting, craft etc

I agree riversidemum, he was quite poorly as a child (hole in heart) and didn't (couldn't) walk until 27 months (hypermobility and low muscle tone) so he isn't what i would call a physical child but is getting better on that front and i try and encourage that as much as i can...

Toohotforfishandchips Mon 18-Aug-14 09:54:09

Yes bright but not too far ahead. You will be applying for schools soon so go and look at several and see which you think suits his all round needs. Be realistic tho. All decent schools are good at grouping children to ensure all are challenged

ACheesePuff Mon 18-Aug-14 10:00:05

What do people mean when they say bright but NORMAL?

Toohotforfishandchips Mon 18-Aug-14 10:01:01

Bright but within normal range - which is very broad at this age

ACheesePuff Mon 18-Aug-14 10:07:05

Well, I don't agree. As a primary school teacher I can categorically say that the skills he has now are well above avarage for a child starting school at age 4 or 5, an average child starting reception has early counting skills to 10 or 20 and bright children can count further. An average child would be able to recognise their name and maybe a few words like mum, dad etc and a few letters, an able child would maybe know all the alphabet sounds and be beginning to decode. The OPs child won't even start school for more than a year, he is WAY ahead of average for his age.

ACheesePuff Mon 18-Aug-14 10:08:43

That's not to day he won't do great at school, just trying to add perspective. Any good teacher will differentiate.

doineedhelp Mon 18-Aug-14 10:13:00

Thanks acheesepuff its good to have a teachers' perspective on this

twentyten Mon 18-Aug-14 10:15:11

Make sure your dc's school does differentiate and celebrates academic excellence- my dd was at a school where it was key to all be equal and to excel academically was not celebrated. Check the opportunities for working with other groups etc- I regret not moving dd- even as a governor it was v hard to influence the culture for all kids into one where success was celebrated in academic skills.

Toohotforfishandchips Mon 18-Aug-14 10:15:30

OP is he going to school nursery? At ours they started phonics and numbers with those who were ready and my DD went into reception already adding and taking away numbers, counting to 100, reading simple words and independantly writing words like cow, pig, hen, fat cat, pin, pan etc - several of them were in her group doing the same

ignominious Mon 18-Aug-14 10:19:31

Sorry to threadjack but is counting to ten not normal? Dd has just turned 18mo and has been able to do it for a while. I didn't teach her and nursery say they didn't either, obviously it's not innate and she's heard it somewhere. Just mean I'm not hot housing her or whatever.

doineedhelp Mon 18-Aug-14 10:40:07

Toohot he goes to a private nursery and starts in the preschool class in a couple of weeks but i'm not 100% sure what they do in terms of phonics etc in there (I will find out)

ignominious from what people have told me counting to 10 at that age is advanced

Toohotforfishandchips Mon 18-Aug-14 10:45:03

All the DC I knew who went to nursery could count to 10 happily at 2. Mine certainly did. Counting to 100 etc is less common.
I would ask the nursery but most private day nurseries don't do any phonics or number work in our area. Our school nursery is very big and most move up into reception there so that do it from Xmas with those who want to and are ready - but not all. It's not necessary but then again, my boisterous very sporty sociable child thrived on it

CheerfulYank Mon 18-Aug-14 10:47:03

It is pretty advanced...DD is 15 months and makes only animal noises. grin

My DS is 7 and is bright. So far he isn't getting bored at school because he just likes being there and talking to everyone. He didn't start formal schooling til 6, but by that time he could read, count into the thousands, add and subtract (and was starting to grasp multiplication), etc. But he's not bored because there are lots of things he didnt know or didn't get to do at home, like science experiments and music and art and phy end.

TheGoop Mon 18-Aug-14 11:17:46

Wow - this makes me feel like my son must be behind! he's 3.5 and can't read or write and can only count to 20!

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