Parents Evenings

(14 Posts)
Lizziegeorge Fri 07-Mar-14 07:58:49

I think children in Year 6 should go with us to parents evenings like they do in secondary school.I would like my dc to hear what the teacher says rather than me try to report back. What do others think?

Our school ask us to take the children with us to parents evening once they are in Juniors.

Obviously is does depend on what you have to say or expect to hear, but my feeling is that it is generally a positive and helpful experience for them.

Any major concerns or issues should have been dealt with prior to parents evening and not saved for a 5 minute time constrained appointment anyway - there is nothing worse than trying to get to the bottom of why dc is not achieving potential when you know there is a queue behind you!

DeWe Fri 07-Mar-14 10:15:35

I disagree. I've just come back from my year 8 parent's evening and I don't think it added anything to it having them there. (except they could find their way round the school and point out their teachers rather than following a map)
Some of the discussions felt that they could have been done just as well in school without parents there. There were some things I would have liked to ask that weren't appropriate in front of dd (social issues). But to make an appointment is firstly quite difficult (large comprehensive) and also would involve several teachers. But to be able to ask (without her knowing) how the teacher feels she's getting on in the class socially would have potentially helped her, as it flagged her up.

It was something we parents were dicussing and the general feeling was that year 8 was too young and year 9/10, was more appropriate for the pupils to hear it.
It's much easier for a parent to raise concerns in an area while their child isn't there to get embarrassed. The one parent who was keen for their child to be there said it was because he was very lazy and it was good for the child to know that the teachers and parents were in agreement that he needed to pull his socks up.

In year 6 there was something (not negative) that came up at parents' evening that wouldn't have been said if it had been in front of her. It was lovely to hear it, but she wasn't to know until later.

We fill in a form indicating which time slot would suit us to attend parents evening, there is also a tickbox to indicate if you wish your KS2 children to attend with you. I think that, so long as there are no sensitive/tricky conversations planned, it is good for children to receive the feedback directly.

Taffeta Fri 07-Mar-14 10:40:14

Yes I can see it would work in some instances and not others, eg I can see it working with my DS but not my DD, so MrsCakes school's option sounds good.

my2bundles Fri 07-Mar-14 10:45:45

I always take my children to parents evenings as I have no chilcare, Its never been a problem. They carnt really tell you they cannot come.

angelcake20 Fri 07-Mar-14 11:37:02

At our primary, year 5 and 6 children attend parents evening. I'm torn over it and have discussed it with the head. It's great for the children to hear the academic feedback but does make it very difficult to raise any issues you have with either the teaching or social problems. HT's view is that parents evening is only for academic feedback and anything else should be discussed in a separate meeting. Apparently the children themselves asked if they could attend parents evenings and that's why it was introduced.

housebox Fri 07-Mar-14 12:38:26

I'm not sure I like the idea really.

I mean I don't always agree with the teachers assessment of my child. If my child is not there I would put my view across to the teacher and possibly not relay the comment to my child if I didn't think it was appropriate.

However if DC was there I wouldn't really want them to see me disagreeing with their teacher but at the same time I would want to challenge anything I didn't agree with!

Also there can be sensitive issues like friends/social things that you might want to bring up. My DC is also very sensitive to critisism and takes it very hard so I would rather phrase what the teacher has said about them in a positive way when telling them rather than knock their confidence by having the teacher say something negative to them which they may take badly.

ReallyTired Fri 07-Mar-14 13:07:42

DD's school has children attend parents evening from reception. I feel it made it really hard to have a candid consversation with the teacher about dd. However it was helpful for dd to have feedback first hand. Dd had lovely feedback from her reception teacher and was walking on air after the consultation.

Ds went to his parents' evening and he got 8 teachers giving him a bollocking for not doing homework. This was throughly deserved and did not come as shock to either of us.

Parents' evenings should not contain any nasty surprises for either parent or child.

Pooka Fri 07-Mar-14 13:15:22

I would prefer not to take dcs with me.

There are sometimes/often things I want to say without dd knowing I'm saying it. She's very reserved at school and I don't think the teacher will necessarily know how she's feeling about her progress/attainment. I know from what she's told me at home that she is worried about her progress and is concerned about getting things wrong. She isn't necessarily getting things wrong, and is attaining well. But I like the opportunity to explain to the teacher that while she might look unconcerned about grades etc, underneath it she is worried, is a perfectionist and gets stressed. But I'd rather not say this in front of dd.

Ds1 is on school action. But he is young and doesn't know this. Again, it wouldn't be possible to talk freely in front of ds1 without potentially upsetting him.

We've always taken ours in to parents evenings, right from nursery days. They are now in High School.

However, we were unable to get a couple of appointments for teachers we really needed to see on our recent parents night for our eldest (Age 13 and a half) so I had to arrange meetings at other times. These ended up being during the school day when my son was in another class, so i went alone. I have to say I found it much more beneficial than I thought I would and much more informative than usual appointments.

I am thinking of going the other way now but that will probably be quite awkward now the boys are the age they are!

As I see it now, the teacher has them all the time to give appropriate feedback, there may be things that it is useful to know that are better shared without the child there. Often they aren't big enough points that you would arrange a seperate appontment for or that the teacher would contact you about, but important just the same.

lljkk Fri 07-Mar-14 19:45:20

um doesn't it mostly depend on childcare? I think that's what happens at our school. Some kids with parents, some parents without kids. Nothing to do with principles, just logistics. I am failing to see the big deal.

Oh, and I could easily have done secondary Parents Eve without my teenager. He wanted to be there, but wasn't required.

teacherwith2kids Fri 07-Mar-14 20:19:43

DC's primary had them attending from Reception. Anything 'not for children's ears' would be best discussed on another occasion, anyway - they were always generous with appointments at other times - as the rushed 10 minute slot is not the best forum for that type of conversation.

As a teacher, i've done both. I prefer having the child present, tbh - and I have on occasion read my parents' evening feedback to a child who has only too obviously only heard the negative bits from their parents...

pointythings Fri 07-Mar-14 21:18:31

I prefer having my DDs with me, and most of the teachers in both secondary and primary have been pretty open and honest. It might be an issue if there is major conflict or if there are serious behavioural issues, but in most cases I think it establishes a collaboration among parents, teachers and children that is really valuable.

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