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DD been told she'll be in trouble if she falls over at school again(27 Posts)
hi, not sure if this is the right topic to post in, but hopefully. DD is in reception - always been clumsy, constantly falling over - so far at just 5 has already knocked her front teeth out and broken her elbow. I have done a bit of online research - I don't think it's anything other than the fact she is tall and not very co-ordinated, plus always likes to be involved with games/chases etc. There is barely a week goes by when she doesn't come back with some minor grazes on her knees.
Yesterday, first day back, she fell over in the playground (again) - school kindly cleaned her up and put plasters on, but when she came back she said that her reception teacher had told her that she would be annoyed with her if she fell over again. This has got my back up, but I am prepared to be told I'm being pfb if I am.
She is a very compliant, bright, girl and obviously doesn't fall over on purpose. From the little i see in the playground she is no more careless etc than anyone else - in fact probably less. It's actually making her quite risk-averse.
Would you be a bit annoyed that the teacher has told her this, or do you think it's ok? TIA
I think you need more context.
I would probably say a similar thing to a 5yo - to encourage them to try not to fall over and hurt themselves.
As in 'I'll be upset if you fall again so please try not to' - which is very different from suggesting she will be in trouble and receive some kind of punishment.
I would talk to the teacher about exactly what was said and how it was said. 5 year olds aren't always that reliable in relaying the facts of a conversation.
I would say something like "dd is a bit worried about playing out today she seems to think she has been told she will be introuble if she falls over again. I've tried to reassure her that of course she won't be but wondered if you knew why she might think this?"
it's not too accusatory but also says that you do not expect her to be told off for falling over.
I would speak to the teacher as there is a chance your daughter has misunderstood. And if she hasn't it's a chance for the teacher to explain what she meant.
I would be a tad cautious because the message received by a small child can often be slightly different to the message given iyswim
I would however be asking GP for a ref to a developmental paediatrician wrt the continuing clumsiness and getting eyes tested too, maybe ears while you're at it.
i thought the same - that it must have been said jokingly and she misunderstood (although she is actually generally a reliable witness and she did tell me her teacher wasn't joking).
So i wrote in her contact book this morning saying something along the lines of 'thanks for patching her up, dd is worried she's going to get told off if it happens again, I know she must have misunderstood but just to let you know". I didn't get any reassurance back, just a note from the teacher saying that yes she needs to realise she must take more care in the playground.
So it didn't reassure me she won't be told off. Think I'll have to speak to the teacher won't I - i hate this kind of thing!
really re the gP? She has had eyes tested and is a little short sighted but not enough to have glasses yet. That was a few months ago though and she has complained about not being able to see some small things, so i've booked her in again for next week. Our GP is useless but maybe I should book her an appt. She doesn't tick any of the boxes at all re dyspraxia etc - i really think it's just clumsiness.
Is she clumsy in general? Dyspraxia can cause this.
Get the teachers point off view on this. If she really said that, then it's not acceptable.
thanks everyone for your help
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
My DD used to fall over all the time in reception/y1. Her teacher used to joke about having her own accident book. She's much less accident prone now in y2.
I just put it down to a combination of growth spurts (which can cause clumsiness) and the fact that she is one of the smaller ones so was constantly running faster than her legs just to keep up with everyone else! It obviously benefited her because she's one of the speedier ones now
Hmm, I wonder if the teacher would say the same to a boy who fell over, or whether she's one of those who thinks the girls should be talking in the corner of the playground instead of being active. I wouldn't be at all happy about the note the teacher sent in reply to you! She obviously doesn't have much understanding of child development if she doesn't realise the importance of racing/chasing/getting minor bumps and bruises.
Have you had her eyes tested recently? Sometimes kids fall over a lot because they can't see very well.
Sorry! I see you've already thought about her eyes. Should read the whole thread before posting.
no that's fine, i would never have thought about the eye thing - i just got her tested because all my family are blind as bats! is very helpful seeing everyone's views. Husband wants me to ask for teacher to call me to discuss, I'd rather just write in her book so it can't get lost in translation, but I guess i'll have to speak to her - ho hum!
Could she be hyper mobile?
On the teachers comment, I wonder if she was doing a particular activity that consistently makes her fall over and the teacher would rather she avoid the activity (hence the "getting cross" comment) rather than the actual falling over iyswim?
The teacher probably said "try to be more careful, I don't want you to fall over again" and your DD heard that she wasn't allowed to fall over again! Seriously, kids (of all ages, I've known 18-year-olds to do it) can really misinterpret quite innocuous sentences from teachers.
it's just that the teacher didn't take the opportunity in the comment she wrote in the book to disillusion me of the idea that she was going to get told off for falling over. Husband, being more rational than I am currently feeling, thinks maybe its just miscommunication.
Speak to the teacher and tell her you are asking for her to be assessed as you cannot have her told off if she is unable to help it.
- Mother of two dyspraxic children.
I would definitely speak with the teacher first to find out what was said and in what context. The teacher should not be telling your DD off falling; assuming your DD wasn't breaking any playground rules, then falling isn't something she can control.
I would get her eyes checked again and ask for them to check her tracking/convergence. My 6yo DD has just been referred to the hospital ophthalmologist because of convergence insufficiency. She has had her eyes tested regularly and is a very fluent reader, but it was the first time that a problem was noted. The following is copied from a website on convergence insufficiency (American) and it pretty much sums DD up to a tee:
Suppression of vision in one eye causes loss of binocular (two-eyed) vision and depth perception. Poor binocular vision can have a negative impact on many areas of life, such as coordination, sports, judgment of distances, eye contact, motion sickness, etc. Consequently, a person with convergence insufficiency who is suppressing one eye can show some or all of the following symptoms:
•trouble catching balls and other objects thrown through the air
•avoidance of tasks that require depth perception (games involving smaller balls traveling through the air, handicrafts, and/or hand-eye coordination, etc.)
•frequent mishaps due to misjudgement of physical distances (particularly within twenty feet of the person's body), such as: ◦trips and stumbles on uneven surfaces, stairs, and curbs, etc.
◦frequent spilling or knocking over of objects
◦bumping into doors, furniture and other stationary objects
◦sports and/or car parking accidents
•avoidance of eye contact
•poor posture while doing activities requiring near vision
•one shoulder noticeably higher
•frequent head tilt
•problems with motion sickness and/or vertigo
I'd be apoplectic if school told DD off for falling; they have known since the beginning that she is 'accident prone' and are excellent in cleaning her up and making sure she is OK. They certainly don't make an issue of it.
If she's short sighted she should be able to see small things very well, but not the black board. It might explain why she trips over, if she can't see something on the floor??
I'm glad you ve got the eye thing covered, like another poster I'd also be looking at how flexible and bendy she is, as that amongst other symptoms could mean she's hypermobile, which is a classic for falls and clumsiness.
The teacher should absolutely NOT be telling off a child for falling. That's very bad practise. I would be furious!
The most I'd have done (and I can't see how it would be got the wrong end of the stick from to what the OP's saying was said) would be to make a joke about "oh if you carry on you're going to make a hole in that poor little playground" or something similar.
Unless now the weather's a bit colder and a bit more grotty it's felt the child is one that's coming in with any possible excuse to get a bit of time lingering around the corridors on the way to first aid or something? Probably not if it's genuine grazes and scrapes but there are a few kids out there who'll try to be in for first aid, a little corridor wander and chat with any interesting staff they come across en route every single chance they can (and will mob any child who falls over for the chance to take them in to first aid as well!)
Hyper mobility sprang to my mind as well. I would just pop in after school for a quick chat.
You could also check if she has flat feet? My DD does & not a week passed by without band aids. Everyday i had to remind her to play/run carefully. Even when she runs, it's visible that she is a bit clumsy & far from 'agile'. Now we've started orthotics so hopefully she may be a bit better!
I myself have flat feet (& hyper mobility) & still tend to fall if I don't pay close attention to walking properly. Same story with my dad!
You could also ask her if she has any aches & pains on her legs/knees/ankles/hips etc. These could indicate a mechanical problem.
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