If you were going to a parents' evening, how would you want the teacher to introduce themselves and how would you react?

(61 Posts)
mrevans Sun 15-Sep-13 18:25:09

T = Teacher P = Parents

1) T: First name P: First names
2) T: First name P: Mr and/or Mrs ____________
3) P: Mr/Mrs/Miss ______________ P: First names
4) T: Mr/Mrs/Miss ______________ P: Mr and/or Mrs ___________

Please explain why and also your experiences of this (eg. being formal/informal etc).

WipsGlitter Mon 16-Sep-13 15:35:12

I was chatting in the playground and another parent had to point out the teacher was calling me as they were calling me with DSs surname and I'm Ms Glitter. I felt very foolish. But I can't expect them to remember every parents preference.

sarascompact Mon 16-Sep-13 15:50:31

I was always taught that it's just as much bad form to introduce yourself (or sign a letter) as "Mrs Smith" or "Mr John Brown" as it is to formally greet someone by their first name without invitation.

So, if you're meeting Timothy's Dad, Peter Blake, you should say something like, "Hello Mr Blake, I'm Elaine Jones, Timothy's art teacher". If Mr Blake wants you to call him by his first name he will invite you to do it, it's not for you to take that initiative.

Working on that logic I'd be a bit miffed if someone who was teaching my child was unable to set them the correct example and instead introduced himself as "Mr So and So". grin

purpleroses Mon 16-Sep-13 15:51:45

Wips - it's not just your preference though. It's your name. My name is not DC surname. If they can't get it right, they should ask me, or use my first name. Or just call me "XX's mum"

sarascompact Mon 16-Sep-13 16:23:31

Ugh! No! Not "XX's mum"! I hate being defined as "child's mum" (or worse still as "child's mummy"! I'm me, not just a mother, not defined by that! Ask my name FFS!

Blu Mon 16-Sep-13 17:21:51

At primary all the teachers were adressed by their first names by everyone, anyway, and they knoew my first name , and most parents' first names as it was a friendly school with lots of parental and family involvement.

At secondary - teachers introduced themselves as 'Mr / Ms' because that's what the pupils call them and we said 'hello I'm first name and first name' because we are casual sort of people and I almost never introduce myself as Ms Blu, to anyone. I might say 'my name is First Name , last name', but never Ms Last name'.

MidniteScribbler Tue 17-Sep-13 00:39:23

I have a spreadsheet for all my classes which includes parents full names, and also a preferred name column. I'll introduce myself as Firstname Lastname, and address them as Mr/Mrs/Ms/Miss/Dr/whatever they have written on their forms. Most people then say "oh, call me Xxxxxx". If they do that, I make a note on the spreadsheet (after they leave) in the preferred name column, and then use that from then on.

I don't mind parents referring to me by my first name when talking with them, but expect them to use Ms Xxxxxx when there are students around. Our staff all do the same. In the staff room it's first names, but outside the staff rooms it's by title.

pennefab Tue 17-Sep-13 01:11:04

Surnames around DC and when referring to each other in front of students. When no children present, first names.

Interestingly, now DC has teacher who only goes by first name.

Admiraltea Tue 17-Sep-13 01:12:04

Quite loved a TA who referred to every mum as mum...as in "well mum, Doris has lost a tooth today ..haven't you Doris? Let mum have a look, ooh mum isn't that a lovely tooth?..well worth a visit from the tooth fairy"

cornflakegirl Tue 17-Sep-13 12:58:41

When DS1 started school, he was going through a phase of calling me by my first name. So there were some conversations with his reception teacher where she was addressing me as Mum, and he was using my name!

JammieCodger Tue 17-Sep-13 20:25:08

I'm another who's never come across introductions at parents evening, but I introduced myself to my daughter's new teacher with 'hi, you must be Ms Surname. I'm Jammie, L's mother.'So I still don't actually know her first name at all.

Like someone upthread, how teachers and I refer to each other is usually determined by whether its PTA business or as a parent. It's a big school, so quite a few members of staff only know me as Jammie and don't even know whose mother I am. Similarly, I only know a lot of them as PTA colleagues, so it's first names all around. But if its about my children, we'll usually go for the more formal approach.

MrsBungle Tue 17-Sep-13 20:30:25

I prefer first names. I am more than happy to call the teacher 'Mrs Smith' but I prefer to be called Bungle - When people call me Mrs Bungle I feel like I am in 1955. Every time someone calls me Mrs Bungle I say, please call me Bungle.

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