Should I move my happy DS?

(16 Posts)
Mumtogremlins Sat 14-Sep-13 09:20:13

Trying to decide whether to move my DS2 who has just started Y3 in state, to DS1's private school. It would stretch us financially but would do it if it was the right thing. He is really happy there with some close friends and doesn't want to move. But I moved DS1 as I was unhappy with the school and it could get worse for DS2. I feel really mean moving him when he doesn't want to, but it would probably be better for him to move now rather than in a couple of years time. Should I do it now, or wait until I absolutely have to do it?

claraschu Sat 14-Sep-13 09:22:59

Why move him if he is happy?

Why not move him in a few years?

Silverfoxballs Sat 14-Sep-13 09:23:10

Can I ask why you are sure things will get worse for him? and what the problem with the school is?

Sirzy Sat 14-Sep-13 09:23:58

If he is happy and doing well why would you move him?

There may not be any problems so no point trying to pre-empt something which may never happen

Mumtogremlins Sat 14-Sep-13 09:28:38

If I don't take the place now, I don't know how long it will take for another one to come up. The school has a problem with discipline and I moved DS1 due to the disruption, among other issues. DS2 has quite a few disruptive children in his class already and the school just doesn't deal with it. I don't want him to get to the point of hating school like DS1.

Sirzy Sat 14-Sep-13 09:30:12

If you move him now and he doesn't want to move surely there is a chance THAT will lead to him hating school?

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Sat 14-Sep-13 09:34:32

Isn't the first rule of primary school "never move a happy child?". I'd leave him until he either wants to move or you're concerned about his progress.

Silverfoxballs Sat 14-Sep-13 09:41:24

You mention moving him really stretching you money wise.

I went to school with a lad who was moved from private to the state sector as his parents could no longer afford fees. He had an incredibly hard time,I know it was secondary level so a bit different but I think you need to consider the financial aspect very seriously.

If he is happy I would not move him, private schools have their problems as well my friends DS has been beaten up twice at his fee paying school.

NoComet Sat 14-Sep-13 09:50:05

Yes please think carefully senior fees here are far higher than primary and last time I looked seem to have gone up a lot.

kilmuir Sat 14-Sep-13 09:51:58

Leave him there. Disruptive kids are not just found in state schools! He is happy and doing well

lljkk Netherlands Sat 14-Sep-13 09:56:58

You can move him once he starts to dislike school, not before.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Sat 14-Sep-13 10:04:15

Don't. I was "stretched" by school fees and it was awful. So stressful...the fees are only part of it...everything costs more.

Mumtogremlins Sat 14-Sep-13 10:18:00

I'm happy to leave him where he is for now but we will move him at some point. He would probably settle quicker now than in Year 5. I didnt expect a place to come up so quick - was hoping it would take a while. But his happiness is most important to me

somewheresomehow Sat 14-Sep-13 11:53:28

Is he being disrupted ? Is he doing well ? and and as you say in your OP hes happy so why move him. Just because your expecting problems that may or may not occur doesn't mean that they will happen or that your ds will be troubled by them.

thegamesafoot Sat 14-Sep-13 13:38:54

Has he spent a day there to see what the private school's like? You must determine if this is a doable stretch financially, if it is and if you are going to move him anyway I think the older he is and the more established his current friendships are the harder he will find it. DD was happy at her state school - she is now even happier at new private school.

Really, as a parent, you have to be able to trust your instincts regarding which school will suit your child best in the long run. Identify the things he will love about the new school be it sports, clubs or a new lesson & sell the benefits. Don't dismiss his worries but show him you take them seriously but that you can work through these as a family. If he can see old friends through local clubs etc. then so much the better.

Chubfuddler Sat 14-Sep-13 13:57:20

I moved my son at end of reception. He was completely happy but I was not. He has thrived at his new school and never mentions the old one at all.

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