Year1 teacher yelled at daughter

(128 Posts)
saltpeanuts Thu 12-Sep-13 19:30:43

Dear mumsnetters, I really need your advice. confused

Today DD (5, year1) told me her teacher had yelled at her in front of the class. DD is usually a very quiet and sensitive child, so she felt confused and sad. She recognised she was being a bit noisy when the teacher yelled at her (her words), but not behaving intentionally badly. Still, do you think it's OK to yell at children, especially when they're that young? Should I speak with the her (the teacher) and try to find out what happened?

Just a note, I think it's ok to tell children off and speak things, but I don't agree with yelling/screaming at them. At the same time, I understand grown ups aren't perfect all the time and that working with children can be very stressful, but I don't want this to repeat.

What would you do in my place? Thanks for your advice

Tiggles Thu 12-Sep-13 19:59:12

I don't think people are saying your daughter is lying intentionally. I know with all 3 of my boys that even if I just speak sternly at them without even raising my voice they can be reduced to tears and get upset that I Was 'shouting at them'. They are convinced I have been shouting and I definitely wasn't.

mymatemax Thu 12-Sep-13 20:01:33

teachers need to be able to raise their voices on occasion, it wont do her any harm.
Have you never raised your voice?

kotinka Thu 12-Sep-13 20:03:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

saltpeanuts Thu 12-Sep-13 20:03:18

Um... do you think I should see if it happens again? Maybe see if other parents have had the same experience?

kotinka Thu 12-Sep-13 20:03:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oceansurf Thu 12-Sep-13 20:05:18

mrz How funny! I was just about to comment exactly the same thing!

mrz Thu 12-Sep-13 20:07:28

kotinka I didn't say I wouldn't listen just that I wouldn't believe half of it

HangingGardenofBabbysBum Thu 12-Sep-13 20:08:46


MarianForrester Thu 12-Sep-13 20:10:47

Teachers shouldn't yell. But they do. It's not nice, but have given up.

kotinka Thu 12-Sep-13 20:10:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrz Thu 12-Sep-13 20:13:27

There is a huge difference between reporting a possible Child Protection disclosure and believing every single thing a child tells you about home life.

simpson Thu 12-Sep-13 20:15:33

If my yr1 DD came home and said that her teacher really screamed at her. I would believe her in that I would believe she perceived that the teacher was screaming.

It does not mean the teacher actually was screaming.

I would not do anything, but tell her to behave.

kotinka Thu 12-Sep-13 20:15:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

simpson Thu 12-Sep-13 20:18:25

When DS was in yr1 he wrote "when my mummy leaves me in the house on my own I like to play with my cars." (Spelling was not as good!)

Obviously what DS meant was when I was in the back garden!

The school did not even mention it to me, I saw it several months later when parents went in to look at their child's work.

mrz Thu 12-Sep-13 20:19:46

I was told by one 5 year old her mum was having a new baby and it wasn't her daddy's ... next day she said the baby had been born and they were calling him Jesus! ... should I have believed her kotinka?

kotinka Thu 12-Sep-13 20:21:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

simpson Thu 12-Sep-13 20:24:33

Belittling and dismissing is a bit different to not believing!

mrz Thu 12-Sep-13 20:25:12

It wasn't her [perspective kotinka it was her imagination

mrz Thu 12-Sep-13 20:25:47

very worrying that you can't see the difference

kotinka Thu 12-Sep-13 20:26:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheBuskersDog Thu 12-Sep-13 20:26:50

kotinka, for goodness sake, mrz obviously isn't saying if a child told you something that raised CP issues you'd ignore it, as I'm sure everybody apart from you understood.

Iwaswatchingthat Thu 12-Sep-13 20:27:40

My very sensitive dd2 (8) very often says "stop shouting at me" when I am speaking to her in a normal tone of voice when she just does not like what I am saying.

E.g. Please pick up your toys always results in a 'don't shout at me'

I think she perceives being asked/told what to do as being shouted at.

ipadquietly Thu 12-Sep-13 20:27:57

In my job, I listen daily to young children's accounts of events, which are exaggerated and skewed due to their immature social and language skills and misuse of vocabulary.

I don't understand how parents can insist that their child has given an accurate account (i.e. 'told the truth') about something that has happened at school, particularly as they weren't there to witness it!

The children aren't lying. They just aren't able to verbalise accurately.

mrz Thu 12-Sep-13 20:29:46

she hadn't overheard anything kotinka ...there was nothing to overhear was a complete fantasy (her mum wasn't pregnant and didn't give birth to Jesus!) it was a story she made up!

TheBuskersDog Thu 12-Sep-13 20:30:39

Some children have not only imagination, but also a sense of humour unlike some adults.

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