Support thread for parents burying their heads in sandpits with PFBs off to school

(274 Posts)
MrsWembley Thu 15-Aug-13 09:51:56

Am I the only one, stood here looking at my DD and thinking,

'nooooooooo, you can't be ready, you can't be about to leave me forever, they can't have you, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...'

I'm fine with it, really. It's just, well, there's only three and a half weeks to go.sad

How have others dealt with it? How will you deal with it? How will I react to it? Glad of the peace? Sad at the thought that someone else is now teaching her? Missing her company? Grateful for the time alone with DS?

And how do people deal with school politics? And then there's all those frightful stories I've read on here about dealing with other parents!

If you've been there, please come and help us. If you too are sitting around, pretending it's not about to happen, come here to carry on the pretence.wink

MrsWembley Thu 15-Aug-13 10:30:27

Just me then..

<wanders off sadly>

herbaceous Thu 15-Aug-13 11:39:19

I've got my head in the sand, weeping. He's my only child, only just four, is being sent to our fifth-choice school away from all his (and my) friends, and we've had no contact with the school since a brief meeting. There's no settling in period.

But I'm sure it will be FINE. Just FINE.

Katiebeau Thu 15-Aug-13 11:41:54

I'm here too. Tying myself in knots about uniform, what bag for what stuff and distracting myself from the fact my PFB DD is not a baby. sad

She's so excited she is counting down the sleeps. grin

Allthatglitters789 Thu 15-Aug-13 11:41:54

My eldest ds just turned 4 is also off to school in 18 days sad
have been putting off buying school uniform for ages and its all starting to sink in now, only school shoes left to get.
pretty certain I am going to be a blubbering mess when I return home after dropping him off, though ds is very excited to be going!

Alibabaandthe40nappies Thu 15-Aug-13 11:44:58

I was you last year.

It wil be FINE! grin

DS1 has had the best year of his life. He has adored his teachers, made new friends and tried so many new things. He is really excited about going back into Year 1, really excited.

In terms of politics and other parents, try not to read to much into what you read on MN. I was very apprehensive and got myself into a bit of a state, but the vast majority of parents are lovely and everyone is in the same boat.
Just smile, strike up a conversation or two. I help out in DS1's classroom with reading and that has been a real help in terms of getting to know a couple of others Mums and also seeing who DS1 was becoming friends with and so knowing who to invite for tea etc.

That's not to say that there haven't been a few hiccups along the way, second half term all the boys in his class went through a pushy-shovy phase and DS1 got very upset, but the school dealt with it very well and it all stopped very quickly.

UnitedZingDom Thu 15-Aug-13 11:56:08

<hands pack of tissues to MrsWembley>

First few weeks in September at my kids' primary school I offer hugs to crying new mums. I have a lot of sympathy as it is so hard to let go.

I went through the same with DS1, every time he started a new school. last September he started high school (year7) and I was a nervous rack the week before.
I felt ill on the day but by the weekend I was fine.

I don't cry anymore about my kids starting or leaving.
I can't wait for DS5 starting playgroup!
(we have a DD as well and planning more and I'm pretty sure that when my youngest starts primary and I'm finally free for the day I will celebrate with a champagne bath!grin )

UnitedZingDom Thu 15-Aug-13 11:56:48

*about my other kids

MrsWembley Thu 15-Aug-13 11:58:28

Oh, thank-god, other people!

gringrin

Making me feel better, although I haven't done anything about uniform yet other than pick up a couple of bits from the table-top sale at the settling-in sessions. Oh, and find out where to buy new stuff from.

My DD is going to our second choice and will know nobody there either, but she's quite good at taking over making friends so I'm trying, really trying to be not worried.

MiaowTheCat Thu 15-Aug-13 13:38:11

Friend got most upset when the big day came, she'd steeled herself for the big goodbye and was left, bereft and bemused at the school door when her daughter waltzed in, and only turned around to order her mum to go home and get a cup of tea!

Just please don't be THAT parent shoving the other kids out of the way with a camcorder in hand to make sure to get the best camera angles of his child walking up the path into the school building (actually happened). Tears fine... video camera pretending to be James Cameron - not fine.

Campaspe Thu 15-Aug-13 13:54:01

I was you 2 years ago OP. I promise that, although the first few days are bitter sweet, the advantages of having a school age child are great too. It's wonderful to a them develop, and interesting to help them fulfill their academic and social potential. And you may also make new friends yourself; I certainly found that to be the case.

MrsWembley Thu 15-Aug-13 16:12:33

I'll try to limit the photography to a quick snap on my phone as she heads up the road.wink

I'm looking at this time as good for my relationship with DS and his turn to be with me just on a one-to-one, as his sister had had for two years before he arrived. At the moment he only gets me to himself for a couple of afternoons a week whilst she's at nursery.

She's having a sleepover at her nursery this Friday. That'll be a test - for us!!gringrin

IslaValargeone Thu 15-Aug-13 16:20:18

Can I pop my head in even if I don't strictly fit the criteria.
I have HE'd but my pfb starts secondary school in 3 weeks. I can't tell you how wobbly I feel.

Adikia Thu 15-Aug-13 16:22:48

I've checked over the school list hundreds of times (or at least it feels like hundreds of times) and have most of her uniform ready, just need plimsolls, PE bag and some tights.

I don't know anyone at the school, but DD had made a new friend by the end of the induction day, they even walked up the school drive holding hands and chatting then hugged each other good bye grin

The school she is off to is brilliant and absolutely perfect for DD. She's counting down the days, telling me about all the things she's looking forward to and loves her uniform but I am so not ready for her to go!

MummytoMog Thu 15-Aug-13 16:26:10

My PFB isn't even four yet sad She's off to school in three weeks, ten days after her fourth birthday.

I am actually more worried about her uniform, as my other thread will show...she will be fine, and probably completely oblivious to any change in her daily routine. DS will be supremely happy at not having to share DH's attention for most of the day (and will be coming to work with me for two days a week so he can go to nursery, which will make him v v happy).

UntamedShrew Thu 15-Aug-13 16:28:46

My twin DSs are starting reception on the 9th. I've still got DD at home but I could weep now just thinking about waving the 2 boys off sad
All my friends think I'm mad and I should be jumping for joy but I'll miss them so much. Selfish I know!

littleoaktree Thu 15-Aug-13 16:30:57

Ds1 (pfb) is off, he's so excited and can't wait. I'm rather more nervous, I'm pleased with my choice of school and I'm sure he'll settle fine but it's the whole feeling that that's it now, no more free time together whenever we want to/work allows, it's all so much more regimented and controlled.

I feel sad that by the time he's finished school he'll be all grown up and won't be my cuddly little boy who runs to give me a big kiss after nursery sad.

herbaceous Thu 15-Aug-13 16:35:04

DS just said to me 'I really really wish wish wish I was going to <first choice school>'. I had to say brightly: 'Why's that, darling? <fifth choice> is going to be just lovely, and you'll have so much fun.'

I'm honestly on the verge of tears the whole time. He drives me up the wall most of the time, and I can't wait to have more time on my own, but I will miss him like mad after about 10am. And I just know I'm going to become the kind of interfering, pushy, teacher-badgering, PTA-joining pain in the arse I promised I wouldn't become!

I think if I'd had any information at all from the school - uniform, times, what they'll be learning, or even a welcome letter - I'd be feeling much less like I was sending my precious baby into the Siberian wastes.

Galena Thu 15-Aug-13 16:56:29

Can I join in? DD starts in a little under 3 weeks. She has mild cerebral palsy so I'm a little nervous about handing her to someone else for the day in case she falls and hurts herself. She is more than ready for school though and very excited.

I was sorting through her uniform today and I think I've gone a bit OTT... we have 10 polo shirts (9 plain and 1 logoed), 6 cardigans (2 logoed), 3 pairs trousers, 2 skirts and 5 pinafore dresses! I kept buying them from different supermarkets so I could see which washed best! blush

We have 5 weeks until they are in full time though, so it won't feel too different to playgroup to start with, and then she's having an op in Nov which will need 3 or more weeks off school. So much for losing her!

enjolraslove Thu 15-Aug-13 18:04:20

My (pfb) dd is off on 5th- only shoes left to get and name labels to attach.
I'm also expecting ds1 in next couple of weeks- haven't even got a pram ( lost the one from dd as I am an idiot!).
I am much more stressed and upset about dd starting school ( will I have put the name labels in on time?) than about new baby- it is a crazy time!
Much sympathy to everyone finding it hard- I actually teach so am very familiar with schools etc, I can't imagine his stressed if I didn't!!

IslaValargeone Thu 15-Aug-13 18:12:26

Galena grin Yes, I think it would be fair to say you have gone a bit OTT.

TeenAndTween Thu 15-Aug-13 18:59:07

Good luck to all you first timers. I hope it all goes well.

I help at my LOs primary. Please make sure all uniform and shoes are labelled clearly (and in a way that doesn't wash out). I am constantly amazed at the amount of unlabelled stuff in lost property.
Also keyrings / stickers on school bookbags really help your child find their's quickly.

On the first day give them a cheery hug and a wave goodbye. Save any tears until the children are out of sight!

Adikia Thu 15-Aug-13 19:03:05

lol Galena, thats a lot more than I've bought! If her polo shirts are white you can't actually have too many according to my mum, she swears blind she would be rich by now if she hadn't had to keep replacing the white shirts we ruined as kids. grin

my little princess goes on the 3rd and she does full days from the start, I'm a little jealous of all these parents with half days to ease them in.

MrsWembley Thu 15-Aug-13 19:23:21

We have two and a half weeks of half days. Well one week of afternoons, one week of mornings, including lunch if we want, then a couple of days of mornings including lunch, before full days. I think that works quite well, although if I was working right now it would be a nightmare! I do wonder how working parents cope with the sudden change from full-time nursery to part- time hours. I know there are clubs and things but not all schools provide these things and, by the sound of it, good childminders are hard to find.

Well done to those of you organised enough to be at the sewing/ironing on stage of labels.grin

herbaceous Thu 15-Aug-13 19:50:00

Mine starts full-time straight away. Not sure what the reasoning is - it doesn't seem decided by the borough, as lots of schools round here do half-day settling in.

Apparently, though the schools don't let this be known, as they don't have to legally be at school full time until they're five, you can in fact let them only do half days if you think they're too tired.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now