Am I the only person who doesn't buy teacher a present??

(78 Posts)
nurseneedshelp Sun 14-Jul-13 20:53:57

I'm shocked by all the threads about buying the teachers a present, I'm very grateful for their input but its their job and they get paid!

finallyasilverlining Mon 22-Jul-13 22:24:39

I have!....once and I didn't mind at all it was nice to show my appreciation (I say my because Ds doesn't do gifts everyone should know what he thinks smile), I have yet to meet another teacher who teaches my Ds rather than sit him at the back of the room or in an empty room. angry Oh well maybe next year!

Auntfini Mon 22-Jul-13 21:29:24

I am the daughter of a primary teacher and end of year/Christmas was always amazing!

I'm a secondary teacher and not a form tutor so you don't tend to get anything, especially not at my school. I think it is good as some of the threads on here make me feel embarrassed, I would hate to think of people worrying about what I might like as a gift.

That said, one of my year tens bought me a mars bar the other week to thank me for my help. Just the thought that he had gone to a shop and actually thought (he had asked what my fave chocolate bar was) made me well up! Think he thought I was a right weirdo...

Allegrogirl Mon 22-Jul-13 21:18:47

DD is finishing foundation tomorrow and I have helped her make and ice (and cover in pink sugary tat) some biscuits. They taste pretty good but look suitably home made by little hands. About a dozen each for the teacher and two TAs. Also got DD to make 3 thank you cards.

I hope they don't think we are cheap but these are really from DD's heart as she has loved foundation. I don't like DD's teacher so haven't written a note myself and I'm relieved the year has ended. Hoping for a more understanding teacher next year.

Mosschops30 Sun 21-Jul-13 21:52:41

I don't! Find it ridiculous.

melody1771 Sun 21-Jul-13 21:49:21

violetroses,
i am shocked by this! I have been a teacher for 22 years and have received loads of bottles of wine and boxes of chocolate...all the children go away knowing they gave me my 'favourites' and 'I cant wait to enjoy them'. I dont drink alcohol and I am always trying to lose weight! There is no way at all the teacher should have shown anything on her face other than total delight! Please don;t think all teachers are like this.

My favourite 'gift' this year was a letter written by a parent saying what a difference I had made to her child. She had put examples in it so I know she really thought that. I have shown it to loads of my friends too....it has made me proud to have taught this little boy,

Mel

BabiesAreLikeBuses Sun 21-Jul-13 21:48:46

I tip the binman, waitress and taxi driver and they all get paid - and i'm sure they don't do as much unpaid overtime as dts teachers have clearly done!
We are doing class collections but also writing personal cards and drawing pics for them

sallyst123 Sun 21-Jul-13 19:23:59

got all the kids teachers a card & a box of chocs they can share with the ta BUT my dd teacher has annoyed me sooooo much tis past week,im considering opening the box & scoffing them myself 2night!!!

fandoobalawoozy Sun 21-Jul-13 17:46:52

Clearly better to have a polite daughter yes but it's not like they are mutually exclusive and you actually have to choose one or the other, or one is caused by the other.

Shinyshoes1 Sun 21-Jul-13 17:40:42

We are not giving a present but dd has spent the best part of an hour drawing and writing out a card for her teacher and TA

I assume the implication is that she doesn't teach her daughter to be respectful or grateful, but sends a gift anyway; the teachers would far rather have polite and respectful behaviour all year than a bottle of wine, and obviously the child's attitude isn't going to help her school career much.

fandoobalawoozy Sun 21-Jul-13 13:39:41

"One of my friends’ daughter, she is quite bright but quite disrespectful, unappreciative and belittle children who are less able or less cool, however her mum spends over £5 on each teacher and TA every year. What does it really mean?"

Eh? Should parents only give gifts to teachers if their children are nice?

fandoobalawoozy Sun 21-Jul-13 13:35:44

Parents can't win, if they buy a present that's useless - 'yet another' naff teacher gift/chocolates/box of homemade biscuits - then they're in the wrong, if they have a collection for vouchers then they're also in the wrong!

I've usually got something individual for dc teachers, but if someone offers to collect for vouchers then I sometimes do that too.

I think joining together can be quite a nice thing to do, as the teacher ends up with something that's more of an actual treat for them - they can choose something they really like that costs a bit more. It's not just 'can't be arsed bung some money in an envelope'! My kids also always do the thank you cards anyway, even if we're also contributing to a collection.

For the last year the teachers and TAs have been key adults in my kids lives and the thank you gift is not just about 'have an extra gift for doing your job' but rather a kind of goodbye as well, acknowledging the significance of that role in their lives.

It's no different to giving a box of chocs to the nurses on a ward after a stay in hospital - the nurses have just done their job, they're not saints, but they have still been very significant for a short time and people tend to acknowledge that.

I think it's a bit different when each teacher individually has a more transient role, like at secondary, but primary isn't like that.

Lizziegeorge Sun 21-Jul-13 09:13:33

Just broken up and I am overwhelmed by the kindness of the parents of my class. Many had written long letters of appreciation that brought a tear to my eye. Yes it's my job and I choose to it and it is one that I absolutely love. But unlike most jobs we are responsible for other people's children and that is a privilege we choose to accept and develop in the best way we can. I'm already missing my class and hoping they are all ok. Note to self be less involved next year.

grants1000 Tue 16-Jul-13 13:01:51

I will for all of them, just a little something, and a written note/card.

For both my chidlren, one who is leaving this year, teachers and TA's have been beyond excellent and I want to acknowledge their hard work above and beyond what is expected.

I am happy with them so why not?

Jinsei Tue 16-Jul-13 11:56:11

Well said exotic. It is truly the thought that counts, and we should be teaching our kids to think about how to thank the teachers who have helped them, and not just bunging a fiver in an envelope and ticking it off on a list as another job done.

nothingnew Tue 16-Jul-13 10:53:49

I have very high respect for teachers and TAs and everyone works or helps in the school all the way to the administors and cleaners same as I very much respect for doctors and nurses in the public sectors. Almost every day I tell my dcs to pay attention to and respect their teachers and value everyone works in the school. For the same reason I feel in general good professionals don’t really expect presents from the people they look after. However I do encourage my children to write thankyou cards or a letter to express their appreciation to their teachers or anyone they feel particularly helpful to them. In the end of the day it really is how sincere your appreciation that matters the most. However I may buy presents for those are leaving or retiring.
One of my friends’ daughter, she is quite bright but quite disrespectful, unappreciative and belittle children who are less able or less cool, however her mum spends over £5 on each teacher and TA every year. What does it really mean?

exoticfruits Tue 16-Jul-13 09:56:44

I think the collection and the voucher misses the point. It is all about the child choosing something they think the teacher would like e.g a little note book with a picture of a cat on the front because 'miss x likes cats'.

The collection and voucher is more 'oh god, we need to get the teacher something- lets just bung some money in the collection'. So impersonal and obligated- you do not have to get a present.
Does anyone bother to ask the DCs what they want to get? Or even which vouchers?

Even back when I was in yr6 and teachers didn't get presents we decided, as a class, that we wanted to get our teacher a present. We collected the money- discussed what we wanted and asked the infant teacher to buy it for us.

I wouldn't want to give to a collection. If I had a DC who wanted to take a present I would use a jar of my chutney this year and let the DC design a label.

I can see why collections for vouchers are convenient on both sides, and socially acceptable if genuinely no pressure or expectation exists, but I feel that they miss the point.

"I valued your nurturing of my child so much that I ... stuck a fiver in an envelope" ? There's a disjoint between the intended sentiment and the action IMHO. And that's why I feel that a culture of collections/vouchers puts more pressure on parents to contribute regardless of their actual experience of or relationship to the teacher.

Choosing a relevant/personal gift of whatever value, or writing a note referencing a particular success or memory, is what we do for people we even vaguely care about. The number of threads we get around Christmas time about impersonal gifts or easy/thoughtless vouchers is remarkable. And when we don't feel thankful to people, or don't have any kind of relationship with them, we don't give them gifts.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Tue 16-Jul-13 09:28:18

At our school the PTA reps organise a collection for teacher and TA. There's no obligation to contribute to it and they get vouchers for them. I think that's quite nice. I think if this wasn't done I'd probably get DD to do a card for each of them rather than get a present.

Arisbottle Tue 16-Jul-13 07:48:15

There really is no need or expectations , teachers are just doing the job they are paid for. Most of us are doing it well and that is part of being a professional . We are not low paid workers reliant on a tip.

If they do a good job they get a card . I have 5 children and could count on one hand the gifts I have bought. These have been for exceptional teachers, and that happens exceptionally !

teacherlikesapples Tue 16-Jul-13 06:55:36

Yes it's our job & of course we get paid and a gift would never be expected.

Not all teachers are created equal - but our pay is. Teachers get paid the same whether they are rubbish or awesome. So some acknowledgement of a job well done would always be welcome.

There are also days where it can feel like a very thankless job. I work long hours during term time and spend a few days every holidays prepping my class and materials. I earn a lot less than some of my less qualified peers. I am not in the job for the money obviously and I certainly don't expect to receive gifts- but a genuine thank you now & then really helps me feel like the effort is appreciated at least.

If you feel that your child has really thrived with a particular teacher or if you know that teacher puts a lot of extra time & effort in, then a card or genuine thank you even if only through conversation surely wouldn't hurt.

It is always nice to get positive feedback & appreciation, particularly when some of us pour our life & soul into doing it well.

2cats2many Tue 16-Jul-13 06:47:20

It isn't expected but its a nice thing to do. The way I think about it is that I'll go into a restaurant or hairdressers and tip £5 without even thinking about. These people are also just 'doing their job'.

Teachers and nursery staff are looking after my children and they are doing a bloody good job. Nursery staff in particular get paid a very low salary. Is it really so ridiculous to want to say thank you to them too?

If people don't want to, then that's absolutely fine by me. My sister is a teacher and genuinely don't expect anything from the parents. However, I like to give something at the end of the year to say thankyou for all their efforts.

Lizziegeorge Tue 16-Jul-13 06:35:35

I'm a teacher and I buy my class a little something at Christmas, Easter and at the end of year; that's 90 little presents out of my own money and is in addition to the treats , prizes and extra resources I also buy. I don't have to but I'm fond of my class and choose to show my appreciation and want them to have a good time. Consequently I value my children's notes of thanks - the comments count the most.

mrz Tue 16-Jul-13 06:30:45

It isn't expected!

libertine73 Tue 16-Jul-13 01:07:09

oh Jesus, didn't know it was expected?! there's so many though! couldn't leave anyone out, so well have to make loads of handmade cards, no way an I buying 6-8 presents!

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