DD's reception class 90% boys - will this be a problem?

(48 Posts)
hattyyellow Tue 23-Apr-13 10:32:33

Bit worried. Youngest daughter starts school in September and she will be one of only 2 girls in a class of 15. She's never really clicked with the other little girl who will be starting, this little girl will also be heading off to prep school at 7 years old.

DD is a girlie girl, ballet and fairies etc - unlike my other children who are much more tomboyish.

A lot of the little boys starting are very lively summer borns and much as they are really lovely little boys, my immediate concerns are (1) the class being very noisy and unruly and a lot of time being spent calming down the children (2) DD not having that close female friendship that many little girls have at primary school (I know that does come with lots of falling outs too!)

I'm more than happy for her to play with boys, the princess thing is inherent in her rather than created by me. But I feel sad that she won't have many girls to play with and that she will be left out.

Any advice/experiences very much appreciated.

PatriciaHolm Tue 23-Apr-13 10:37:00

Could she do rainbows or dance or some other club after school to give her a wider friendship group? At reception it won't matter so much, but as they get older it might. Are there lots of girls in y1/y2 she could play with if she wishes?

hattyyellow Tue 23-Apr-13 10:39:12

That's a good idea Patricia thank you. I hadn't thought so much of her mixing with the other years (I think it's from me having gone to a huge London primary where you just stuck with your own year group). She is also winter born so hopefully will have more stamina than my other summer born kids to do after school stuff. It would be nice for her to have girls in the class though to be with every day! sad

Bramshott Tue 23-Apr-13 10:41:17

IME in a small school where there's a year which is very boy-heavy or girl-heavy, the kids tend to make friends across the year groups. Presumably they'll be mixed with Y1 if it's an intake of 15?

hattyyellow Tue 23-Apr-13 10:45:37

Hopefully year groups will mix..

No, reception is by itself and then the years twin after that..

amidaiwish Tue 23-Apr-13 10:51:03

Personally I wouldn't be happy. Do you have other options?

hattyyellow Tue 23-Apr-13 10:54:52

Sadly no. It is an excellent school, which I'm very grateful for with Ofsted grading it outstanding in many areas. Older DC are also half way through there and very settled and we're in a rural area so it's the best and nearest state primary school..

There are private schools locally, where the little girls she is at kindy with are going - but that's out of our price range, vv expensive schools.

I might start campaigning in the local market town with a placard..'Have a 4 year old girl? Send her to our school" etc

vikinglights Tue 23-Apr-13 11:01:08

Does she know any of the girls in the other year groups?

I think I'd ask the school what they are going to do to ensure your daughter doesn't become isolated. I have a similar situation, not so extreme because the class sizes are smaller, but dd1 is the only girl in her year, dd2 is currently the only girl in her year although a family has just moved in with a girl her age and ds is the only boy in his year.

All three are happy and have good close friends outside their academic years

hattyyellow Tue 23-Apr-13 11:06:37

Thanks viking, that's really reassuring to hear that your children have thrived in this set up smile It's all new for me as my older DC had gender balanced year groups, so it's never been a problem before!

I'm going to try and grab the reception teacher at school pick up and talk to her about it, she's very switched on so hopefully will be able to offer some reassurance.

DD doesn't know any of the girls in the youngest years as my older DC are in the junior part of the school now. But it's a friendly school and I'm hoping she will be able to mix easily with the other classes once she's found her feet.

Pyrrah Tue 23-Apr-13 11:19:08

I would be very worried and looking for another school.

I was one of only 2 girls in my class at prep school - only 7 girls in the whole school - and I didn't get on with the other girl.

She spent a lot of time excluding me from playing with the other girls - little girls aren't sweetness and light much of the time, but normally if one is being a cow there are plenty of others to play with. I was no wallflower either.

I very much wish my parents had moved me to another school. To this day I'm somewhat wary of women.

You will probably get the opposite view from others.

I wish you and your DD luck!

hattyyellow Tue 23-Apr-13 11:26:06

Oh dear! Hopefully as there are a lot more girls across the school she won't be left out, as there will be a lot more than 7 girls in total. But a very unpleasant experience for you.

Pyrrah Tue 23-Apr-13 11:34:42

I think having other girls across the school will hopefully make a HUGE difference - and today schools are a lot more clued up and spot the child being left out or bullied very quickly.

I was the eldest girl in the school, so there were no older girls to keep an eye out for us. I did have lots of friends amongst the boys and did a lot of tree climbing etc - but I did miss out on the girly stuff and having best friends etc

My DD is in the nursery class of a local primary school and I was amazed that all the older girls seemed to know her name as the nursery doesn't mix that much. She is spoilt rotten by them all and if we get on the bus and a girl from her school is there then DD is off at the back holding hand with them.

I would talk to the teachers and see what they can suggest - I imagine they will see the potential for problems.

Any chance that waiting lists may bring in more little girls?

learnandsay Tue 23-Apr-13 11:36:51

My daughter hates boys. I'd have to move her, if necessary to another (even a worse) school.

hattyyellow Tue 23-Apr-13 11:43:05

DD doesn't dislike boys, luckily, she would just prefer to play with little girls if she could.

Pyrrah, girls can be so catty can't they! So glad your DD is happy. My school was incredibly bitchy (all girls - tempered at least by my having 4 brothers at home!) and I'm relieved that my kids are at a mixed school following my experiences. It's amazing how strongly your school experiences stay with you through out life.

It's a popular school with lots of children applying when they move into the area. My older DC's class has let an additional 5 pupils in as they've progressed up the school. Hopefully triplet girls will move locally and join DD in reception!

learnandsay Tue 23-Apr-13 11:57:44

I've seen boys pushing past, hitting each other with party balloons and doing all manner of (not unpleasant) but boisterous immature behaviour. Once or twice I've asked them to tone it down (I hate asking strangers' children to behave a bit better) but sometimes it's an accident waiting to happen. My daughter is a very girly girl and to be honest I do see her point. I think she'd rather have her skin peeled off and be rolled in a vat of salt than sit in a classroom of boys.

Dusteverywhere Tue 23-Apr-13 12:08:40

Hi Hattyyellow

I have recently posted a similar concern here. Have found out that in September DD (starting school in reception) will be going into a very, very boy-heavy class.

Like your DD, she is very 'girly' and while she doesn't dislike boys at all, just loves being part of a group of girls at her nursery.I am worried about it and hate the thought that she will be sad. However I received some positive advice on here and hope things will be ok.

Hope things go well for your DD too.

Llareggub Tue 23-Apr-13 12:09:40

I have 2 sons and have done my best to ensure that they don't conform to stereotypes. Ow ever, they can be boisterous at times. My eldest is in a Yr 1 class which is predominately boys. I know that the mums of girls have an issue with this, but surely it would be better to see each child as an individual and respond to their interests and personalities. There is no reason why boys need to be muddy and boisterous whilst girls are all pink and fairies. I'd better talking to the teacher to see how he or she might address it.

Bramshott Tue 23-Apr-13 12:15:06

Things also can and do change a lot in small schools as yeargroups go through the school. DD1's year started out fairly balanced and now has only 2 boys, and another year which started with only 2 girls is now split 50/50 (we also have a PAN or 15).

SvetlanaKirilenko Tue 23-Apr-13 12:18:29

Hi hatty, my DD was in a very boy heavy nursery before she started school, I think a lot depends on how the school deals with this.

At DD's nursery the staff were very careful to ensure that the boys did not exclude her from their games etc. DD adapted very happily and loved playing with boys and made friends easily. I was worried about her making friends with girls when she started school - and again she has adapted very happily and now plays well with boys and girls!

I agree you should speak to the school about this to ensure they help DD settle in and make some good friendships, and that she is not excluded from group play in any way.

Hope it goes well for you and DD.

Floralnomad Tue 23-Apr-13 12:18:45

When my daughter started school she was in a class of 3 girls ( her included ) and 10 boys . ( private school) . There were 2 other classes with a few more girls in but TBH although they mixed it up every year the original friendships stuck and unfortunately the 2 other girls in the original class left in yr 2 and yr 3 . I took my daughter out in yr5 and should have done it earlier. I'd be looking for a different school if I was in your position . I should also point out that my daughter is not a girly girl and would happily play with boys and was in the cricket and tag rugby team but often ,especially as they get older the boys don't want to play with the girls for fear of being ostracised by the other boys ( well that's what we found ) .

hattyyellow Tue 23-Apr-13 12:21:56

Thanks so much all, it's so nice to have the reassurance that she will be okay. Planning to talk to the reception teacher tonight and get her views on the subject.

I really have nothing against little boys and have two older DD's who are both utterly anti-pink and spend their lunchtimes having running races across the field and climbing trees with both other boys and girls.

But I do wonder if a gender balance is best ideally, i'm not an education expert, but I can see that a mixed group would have advantages. DD plays with the boys too at nursery but her best friends (who are going private) are all little girls. I do think it's nice to have the option to have some close friends of your own sex, who like doing the same things as you, as well as playing with children of different genders and who have different interests.

Boy in my son's class when they were in lower classes used to quite happily bring in his Barbie dolls etc to school and play with the girls - she may not be without more girlie pursuits even in a class of boys. 1 or 2 others enjoys singing and stage stuff too - she may find a kindered spirit and close friend amongst the boys.

Or, she may get to be the princess and be in charge of all the role play games with her hoard of Knights and Princes smile

hattyyellow Tue 23-Apr-13 12:23:06

Sadly just no option to send her anywhere else - we are very rural and can't afford private - so another school would mean taking the older DC out and a very long drive which would also be very tricky with work..

seeker Tue 23-Apr-13 12:24:55

I would have concerns. Have you talked to the school about it?

seeker Tue 23-Apr-13 12:27:17

Sorry, I see you are going to.

In my experience, they play all together til about 5 or 6, then, despite anyone's best efforts, gender divisions kick in, and stay firmly in. I wish it was different.

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