three top tips to really help your child succeed and not just make you feel better

(74 Posts)
tameteacher Tue 19-Mar-13 23:26:45

Hi, I'm a happy mother of two and a top-notch primary school teacher/manager.

If you really want to help your child- and not just want to 'kick the cat' ie, take any frustrations, bad hair days, relationship problems out on the nearest person who can't kick back (ie your child's teacher) you need to be grown up and selfless (in other words a caring parent) and think about the following:

1) Whatever you think about the school/headteacher/teacher/homework policy/father of your child, your child wants to hear that everything is under control. If you have a problem with any of the above, sort it out adult-to-adult without dragging your child into the fray. If you slag your child's teacher off in front of them, at best you will be diminishing the effect that teacher can have on improving your child's performance and at worst you are turning the world into a place that your child sees as out-of-control. Save us all from parents who use the above to scare their child into loving them, and only them. I've seen too many in my time; unforgivable.

2) Help your child to grow up seeing their place in the world in relation to others. Some parents treat their children, and expect others to treat them, as little princes/princesses. Not only does this make them unpopular with their peers, it makes them unhappy when the real world smacks up against their self-image. Just remember that EVERYONE thinks that their child is special- that's what being a parent is about. And it means that everyone should teach their children that everyone else is as special as them. Share. Get your kid off that swing and let the next kid have a go. Talk to other children and show your child that you think they are important too.

3) Read. Read every day. Let your child see you read. Listen to your child read. Don't tell your child's teacher that you don't have time to read with your child; you're talking to someone who starts work at 8.00am and stops marking/preparing at 9.00pm.

Finally, remember that your child's teacher is human, just like you. Most teachers like most of their children's parents. Even if they don't, they are too professional to take it out on a child- they wouldn't be doing the job if they didn't love helping children to be the best they can be. True, there are a few duff teachers out there but at least teachers have to qualify to teach. If only some parents had to qualify to be parents...

Tameteacher x

Mendi Mon 01-Apr-13 22:49:30

OP, I agree with all your comments, though almost read no further than your self-declarared top-notch'-ness.

Like anything else, with parenting,the people who pronounce themselves to be 'top-notch', 'brilliant', etc. rarely are. Those qualities tend to speak for themselves.

Sounds like you have it all under control on the parenting front. Give yourself a pat on the back.

difficultpickle Mon 01-Apr-13 23:03:11

If you slag your child's teacher off in front of them, at best you will be diminishing the effect that teacher can have on improving your child's performance and at worst you are turning the world into a place that your child sees as out-of-control.

What about when you have to do this to diminish the negative effect of a truly crap and bullying teacher? There are many good teachers but there are also those who really should find another way to earn a living that doesn't involve being around young children or their parents. Hopefully most people will never encounter those teachers but unfortunately some of us have.

In those circumstances as a parent you have to do everything you can to support your child and to make them understand that no one no matter who they are has the right to treat another person the way their teacher is treating them. Then you move schools, pick up the pieces of your child's shattered self esteem and rebuild your lives. In hindsight I wish I had done a lot more 'slagging off' of the teacher to her face and in front of ds. Instead I supported her for far too long and a year later I am still picking up the pieces.

hwjm1945 Mon 01-Apr-13 23:07:18

Top notch.....Ding dong was James Hewitt of all people

Roseformeplease Mon 01-Apr-13 23:09:54

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dummad Mon 01-Apr-13 23:15:31

What is it about teachers? What a totally narcistic, obnoxious post.

MintChocCh1p Mon 01-Apr-13 23:17:07

This made me grin

marriedinwhiteagain Mon 01-Apr-13 23:18:06

OP - you left out love. All children can do their best if there is love.

you also left out doing sums to support numeracy

Hi, I'm a happy mother of thre and a top-notch parent/manager.

If you really want to help your children and not just want to 'kick the cat' ie, take any frustrations, bad hair days, relationship problems out on the nearest person who can't kick back (ie parents) you need to be grown up and selfless (in other words a caring teacher) and think about the following:

1) Regardless of what you think of the parent, most are doing the best they can and your refusal to provide requested information about their children at school, their behaviour and performance is at best diminishing the effect that the parent can have on improving these aspects and supporting your work.

2) Take pride in yourself, your ability and profession and stop being so defensive when parents ask questions. Learn what Evidence-based practice means and try it.

3) Get faster at admin.

FrameyMcFrame Mon 01-Apr-13 23:25:00

So you're the expert... I see.

RaisinBoys Mon 01-Apr-13 23:26:48

Well said bisjo.

Really hope your DC has a great teacher now

zzzzz Mon 01-Apr-13 23:28:12

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gabsid Mon 01-Apr-13 23:37:37

What on earth happened, if it wasn't a bad parents evening?

You certainly don't sound happy, top-notch or anything the like.

perplexedpirate Mon 01-Apr-13 23:44:33

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gabsid Mon 01-Apr-13 23:49:53

"at least teachers have to qualify to teach" - not anymore! Academies and Free Schools can employ who they like it seems.

Manchesterhistorygirl Mon 01-Apr-13 23:56:43

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EarlyInTheMorning Tue 02-Apr-13 00:00:22

[slow clap]

quip Tue 02-Apr-13 08:00:57

What about the tip of teacher-proofing

marriedinwhiteagain Tue 02-Apr-13 08:05:10

In the night I thought "oh we were had - it was an April fool" and felt quite pleased with myself. But it was posted on 19th March !

doublecakeplease Tue 02-Apr-13 08:07:41

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Bonsoir Tue 02-Apr-13 08:08:39

When my DC tell me that one of their teachers is crap, I believe them (and they have always been right). There is no way I would undermine my DCs' trust by telling them that the teacher was in the right when the teacher is in the wrong.

Feenie Tue 02-Apr-13 08:10:15

Awwwwww, got beaten to it in pointing out that the repeated misspelling of 'condescending' failed to match up to the OP's self-proclaimed top-notchness.

Badvoc Tue 02-Apr-13 08:13:05

That it - very possibly - the most smug tastic post I have ever easy in MN.
And that's fucking saying something!
I have a feeling you are an NQT.
All excited and thinking that a few weeks on a course makes you an expert in all other people's children.
Bless.

Badvoc Tue 02-Apr-13 08:13:29

Argh...bloody auto correct!
But you get the jist...

DizzyHoneyBee Tue 02-Apr-13 08:17:52

I hope the OP doesn't teach my children!
Though I do agree about listening to your children reading every day.

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