Could someone have a go at assessing this piece of writing for me?

(18 Posts)
Campaspe Tue 19-Mar-13 16:30:46

DD is in Y1. She has struggled with writing, but tries really hard. I would be really grateful if anyone with the appropriate knowledge could assess this in terms of key stage one levels. I have reproduced spelling and punctuation faithfully. This was written in about 10 minutes with no input from me other than a shout from the other room to remember capitals and full stops! Thank you.

"My Skool trip.
I was so exsided it was grait. I condund wait a mimt.
Wen the door onpund I was so exsidid.
{Teacher's name} took the reshid and it wunst good.
Next it was loud. The coch is hear. Skreem.
I was on the coch for a very long time.
We went over the brigd. It was big.
At last we wher there. It was snak time.
{Picture of teacher, with speech bubble} Eta one thing out of your lunch box. Iv got 2 pacits of rainus.
We saw some hosus.
We saw meet hanging up.
We went thro a tunl and evron made gost nosis.
We lookt at shops and saw Edwuds hot wortrbotl.
We saw a row of hous.
We walkt done and up steps. but at last we wer at the casl."

Translation:
My School Trip.
I was so excited, it was great. I couldn't wait a minute.
When the door opened, I was so excited.
Teacher took the register and it wasn't good (noisy, excited children apparently!)
Next is was loud. The coach is here. Scream!
I was on the coach for a very long time.
We went over the bridge. It was big.
At last we were there. It was snack time.
Eat one thing out of your lunch box. I've got 2 packets of raisins.
We saw some houses.
We saw meat hanging up.
We went through a tunnel and everyone made ghost noises.
We looked at shops and saw Edward's hot waterbottle.
We saw a row of houses.
We walked down and up steps, but at last we were at the castle.

Thank you.

Fanjango Tue 19-Mar-13 16:32:47

Looks very much like something my yr1 dd would write. Are you worried about something as it looks fairly normal for age.

Campaspe Tue 19-Mar-13 16:41:20

Not really worried, though the phonetic spelling makes her writing difficult to understand. I would like to gauge if she is keeping up with "average" (and I know this is a moot point)!

piprabbit Tue 19-Mar-13 16:51:20

TBH I didn't need to translation and enjoyed her writing. Well done to LittleCamp for producing quantity and quality. I have no idea about 'average' though.

MerryMingeWhingesAgain Tue 19-Mar-13 18:31:12

My DD is also yr one and would write similar. I think it's fair to say that her spellings are 'phonetically plausible' grin ie you can totally understand what she is saying even though the spelling is wonky, and she has some imagination.

Love the hot water bottle!

weegiemum Tue 19-Mar-13 18:35:39

I like it (I'm a literacy tutor for adults). The confidence in writing such a long piece at age 5/6 is brilliant. There's loads of mistakes she will eventually learn to correct. For now, confidence is brilliant. I'd be so excited if it was my child!

Campaspe Tue 19-Mar-13 18:41:03

Thank you for your replies. I love it and feel inordinately proud, especially as writing does not come easily to her. It is great to see her writing this unprompted, for the sheer pleasure of being able to express herself. I wanted to get a steer on her achievement levels in terms of key stage levels as at the beginning of the school year, it was flagged up by her teacher that she might not achieve the expected levels in writing, though her reading is really good. Nothing has been said since, but I think there has been a lot of improvement.

plusonemore Tue 19-Mar-13 18:45:09

I'd say 1A / 2C, probably a 2C. Some good word choices, now needs to extend sentences! smile

weegiemum Tue 19-Mar-13 18:48:21

I can't do levels as 1) I'm in Scotland and 2) I work with adults. But my dc are always looking over my shoulder and they all (9,11,13) loved it - and got every word!

pointythings Tue 19-Mar-13 18:55:06

I'm useless on levels, but given her word choices I'd put her above average. The spelling will come as her phonics bed in more. It also has a coherent narrative with a starting point working towards the end point. I didn't need the translation either, which says a lot about how your DD is using phonics.

Campaspe Tue 19-Mar-13 18:59:11

Thank you all. What kind, reassuring things to say.

letseatgrandma Tue 19-Mar-13 23:00:37

I'd say a 1b/1a. Probably a 1a but I'd want to see it as it was written.

Ogretmen Tue 19-Mar-13 23:06:42

I'm a Y1 teacher and would agree with letseatgrandma secure to high level 1.

HiggsBosonAteMyKitten Wed 20-Mar-13 12:32:18

I had absolutely no problem reading this without the translation, and understood the whole story from start to finish. if she can write all of that in 10 minutes, to me she seems to be doing really well. At this stage I really wouldn't worry about spellings, that will come later with experience. Just keep up the encouragement to write and everything else will follow.

mummyonthemove Wed 20-Mar-13 21:46:30

I teach upper key stage 2 but i would agree with a high level 1, moving towards a low level 2. A great piece of writing!

pennygallops Wed 20-Mar-13 22:51:20

Without looking at the handwriting, which can make the work harder to read. I'd say 1a.
I'm a Y3 teacher.

ellesabe Wed 20-Mar-13 22:52:20

I teach Y1 and would say level 1a smile

My DD is in Year 1 and would have got more of the spellings right BUT could no way write that much in 10 minutes, in fact I don't think I've ever seen her write that much!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now