Bit annoyed with teacher over spellings

(105 Posts)
MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 20:14:56

I know its trivial and I probably need to be told to get a grip but I was a bit surprised by what happened at pick up earlier.

Yr4 child has spelling test tomorrow - so I always check when he comes out of school on a wednesday that he has his spellings so we can double check he knows them tonight.

So he comes out without them - I send him back in to get them from his desk. He comes out and tells me he's not allowed to get them.

I assume he's got the wrong end of the stick so go down to his classroom - his teacher is at the door and I ask if I could get his spellings. Teacher says 'I've already told him its not a good time he should have asked earlier so he'll just have to try his best'.

I said ok and walked away but am a bit annoyed.

I know DS should be more organised but really would it have been so hard to grab his spellings from his desk?

Go on tell me she is absolutely right and I'm being totally precious I can take it wink

Will add that spellings not his forte so he really does need to practice them a lot.

Oh and should add the school pride themselves on parents being able to have chats with teachers at pick up so I wasn't breaking any rules.

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 21:19:48

I think you must be a very nice or sensible teacher Goingmadinthecountry smile

REmember she;'s had your DS since 9am, this may have been the last straw for her with him. You don't know the full story.

heggiehog Wed 06-Mar-13 21:24:54

Hmm...teachers don't usually say it's not a good time unless it genuinely isn't.

Teachers have to deal with all sorts of things that parents never see or know about. You can't judge the situation based only on what you could see.

mrz Wed 06-Mar-13 21:25:06

and I must be a really nasty teacher because I wouldn't let anyone back in the room if there was a private meeting taking place. But then I can't see the usefulness of giving spellings to learn.

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 21:26:23

Well no I don't - but he's not a particularly tricksy boy. Although I guess all will be revealed at parent's evening tomorrow.

And she didn't say - look he's been very naughty today. It was simply 'its not a good time'.

I don't know - I do feel annoyed. I try to support the school, I read with my children, I ensure homework is done, I test on tables, spellings etc and I really very rarely bother the teachers at all.

This teacher's class is small, the children are I suspect not too difficult to teach and yet - going to his desk, grabbing his spellings whilst other chilren were in the classroom was just too much. Ho hum.

penguinplease Wed 06-Mar-13 21:28:23

I don't get why you accepted it and walked away. I had similar with my DD, teacher was rude to her about spellings so I went in and she attempted to be rude to me in the same way. I very politely pointed out that yes I agree the timing was bad, we shouldn't have left it so late etc but the fact was we needed them for the test and so surely sending my dd away with a flea in her ear was counter productive.
Yes she may have been pissed off with my dd by then and had an awful day but quite frankly they are still teachers and still working until the last child has gone so tough shit, every day in my job is shit but I still do what I have to do to get the best out of everyone.

you don't have to accept it if a teacher is rude or dismissive of you, I am never rude back but I certainly won't be spoken to like I'm a child.

YANBU to be annoyed but you are silly to have walked away when you could have just sorted it.

clam Wed 06-Mar-13 21:33:20

It does sound a bit unnecessary to me - as you say, it wouldn't have taken a minute and it was for a good cause, wanting to learn spellings.

But that said, there must have been some reason, even if it's not immediately obvious from the outside. Can't think of any off the top of my head, however.

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 21:33:31

Penguin - you know you are quite right. I am really annoyed with myself. I should have been more assertive.

I think I was just so shocked as just didn't expect that reaction.

heggiehog Wed 06-Mar-13 21:33:46

"I don't know - I do feel annoyed. I try to support the school, I read with my children, I ensure homework is done, I test on tables, spellings etc and I really very rarely bother the teachers at all. "

With respect, what does any of that have to do with this situation? You don't KNOW why the teacher wouldn't let him in.

heggiehog Wed 06-Mar-13 21:35:41

"but quite frankly they are still teachers and still working until the last child has gone"

And for several hours after the last child has gone...but yes, they ARE still working, which means this teacher may have had something else that they had to do?

I've had times when parents have come in to speak to me and it really has been an AWFUL time because of child protection issues, other meetings etc, but they just don't GET IT and I can't break confidentiality rules to ensure they do. I'd rather they just trust me when I say it's not a good time.

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 21:36:25

As an aside - the other teacher of that year is amazing, fun, caring and very very good. She also teaches the middle groups which my son sits in.

He said to me tonight - I don't even want to be in the top groups as I'd have my class teacher. Which as a parent is a pretty sad thing to hear.

Now DH thinks I need to raise this - should I????

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 21:38:33

With respect heggiehog - I really fail to see what allowing my son to grab his spellings form his desk which would have taken all of 10 seconds could interfere with anything.

As I've already said - at this school - teachers have children milling round their classrooms until 4pm each day. This was 3.35pm. I very much doubt there was a pressing child protection issue she was just making a point.

fouranddone Wed 06-Mar-13 21:39:18

She said your son couldn't get his spellings, not you. If a teacher said this to me I would have had no qualms about pushing past and retrieving the spellings myself. She doesn't own the bloody classroom! But then I'm one of 'them' mothers wink

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 21:40:23

And if she'd said I have a meeting that would have been fine - but she didn't say that and I really truly don't believe she did have at that time.

I have a good knowledge of how the school operates and I really am far from being a tricksy parent. What I said about reading etc was to try to convey that I am supportive of the school and the teachers.

penguinplease Wed 06-Mar-13 21:40:58

Yes heggiehog maybe you are right but also maybe I'm right. Either way a little more explanation or the offer of an alternative way to get the spellings would have been a bit more professional than just sending both child and mother away with a non descript answer and as the OP points out there was no obvious reason it was not possible.

We could speculate on all the reasons but my guess is fucked off teacher and son of OP being the one who loses out in the long run.

penguinplease Wed 06-Mar-13 21:43:50

fouranddone - I am also one of "them" , I am never rude but I am not spoken down to or intimidated by the teachers as some parents are. Nor do I stand and bitch about the school/teachers in the playground. If I have a problem I go in and I sort it out.

heggiehog Wed 06-Mar-13 21:46:31

"Either way a little more explanation or the offer of an alternative way to get the spellings would have been a bit more professional "

Nope, sorry, if it's a child protection issue then the school does not owe you an explanation of any kind.

Honestly I know that sounds far-fetched but having been in some of these situations before myself I really wish the parents had just accepted "it's not a good time" and not hassled me about it.

heggiehog Wed 06-Mar-13 21:48:20

"With respect heggiehog - I really fail to see what allowing my son to grab his spellings form his desk which would have taken all of 10 seconds could interfere with anything."

I don't really understand either but as I've said a few times now, parents aren't always aware of the whole situation and I know there have been times when parents have been cross with or criticised me for unavoidable situations or times when I couldn't help them because I was busy dealing with something else.

Just saying...talk to the teacher. Don't judge them until you know the whole situation.

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 21:51:11

Look seriously there was no child protection issue. Other children were in the classroom as they are every day getting ready for one of the very many after school clubs until 4pm.

fouranddone Wed 06-Mar-13 21:51:35

Exactly I'm not rude or bitchy to the teachers, however I stand up for my children and if there's a problem then we go and see the teacher and try and sort it out ASAP. I just can't ever imagine any of my children's teachers saying no your not coming in to get your spellings, tough luck!hmm

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 21:52:49

And as I've said this really is not a teacher bashing thread. But I do feel in this instance the teacher was unreasonable. But hey that'll learn him wink

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 21:54:21

And I will talk to the teacher tomorrow at parent's evening when its hopefully a better time smile

And really thanks for all comments - I knew I was being a bit precious really.

heggiehog Wed 06-Mar-13 21:55:01

"Look seriously there was no child protection issue. Other children were in the classroom as they are every day getting ready for one of the very many after school clubs until 4pm."

You cannot possibly know that based on that information.

If the teacher is a jerk then they deserve your criticism I suppose but it's not always a black and white situation.

penguinplease Wed 06-Mar-13 21:56:27

I don't think you were being precious.. and yes I would mention it - not in a confrontational way but just to get it out of your own head.

clam Wed 06-Mar-13 21:59:37

I'm a teacher and I really can't imagine any thing so "pressing" that I wouldn't allow a child back into the classroom when there were still other children faffing about and leaving the room.

That said, I'd take serious issue with anyone pushing past me and barging into my, yes "my," classroom as fouranddone suggests. hmm

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