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Slack mother here -- I don't think I've written more than four comments in a reading diary, ever. I could never think of what to write, so didn't. Neither DS nor DD (now YR) have ever thought much of school reading books so we just do our own thing at home. If you daughter's reading well -- and it sounds as if she is -- I would mainly leave her to it.

You could always give her little quizzes on books you know she has read. My DD adores that, and it's a way to check up on comprehension.

If she is reading at that sort of level (Encylopedias etc) it is important to check her comprehension of what she is reading and infering from the text. If she refuses to read to you, then can you just get her to retell you the story and you ask her questions about it. e.g. if story says "Jenny was reading an exciting adventure book. Jack asked her to go to the park. Jenny didn't want to go to the park so she got up grudgingly and went with him" can she infer the answer to "Why did Jenny not want to go to the park?" (Sorry not a great example, but hope you understand what I mean).
I have to be honest when DS1/2 are refusing to do their homework 'because it is boring' (both have ASD and struggle with having to do homework) I have just had to become really firm and tell them that they will get bored-er just sat at the table waiting to do it.

TBH I wouldn't worry about her 'homework' because it will be absolutely minimal in YR.

Could she not read her school reading book to her brother (with you discretely listening) and then you could use that as a basis for your comments in her reading diary and give you a feel for how her reading is going.

Or have all three of you sit together sharing one book each. Make it a special time for you to share, rather than focusing on it being schoolwork. Most schools I've come across are happy for parents to write up any books the child has read even if they come from home rather than school.

Whoops that first bit is the other way round "expect you to hear her read"

Well, I would make it clear that school expect you to read to her so there isn't a choice. There might be a choice on what she reads and when but not on if she does it or not. And then I would have a consequence if she still refuses. IMO it is invaluable for you and them to hear them read as well as for you to read to them (however fluent they are and DS is fluent like your DD).

I guess this depends on your parenting style though- we have some things that the kids don't get a choice on so they are used to this .

If you read together then it can help conversation about school work type things, my theory anyway!

DS chooses all sorts to read to us- his school reading book can be good or a bit token sometimes but he'll read some non-fiction or a chapter/a few pages of a chapter book he is reading. Or sometimes we share- we read a chapter, he reads, works well .

She is reading her own books now, and sits and reads stories/books to Frankie (her 2 year old brother) she can read literally anything, newspapers, magazines, charity appeals, emcyclopaedias etc.
Her reading scheme book is no problem for her, she just reads it in her head and this weekend wrote 'dd2 thought this was a good book' (all spelled like that) I have written 'ditto' below it...
How do I 'make' her do it though? Don't want to get horns locked with a five year old (she's v stubborn as am I?)
Not sure if teacher is having similar prob (she wanted her assessed for ASD within 2 weeks of start of term due to her 'quirks') teacher says she 'gets her' now. She goes to years 1 and 2 for some work now. Which we're not sure about as she's quite socially inept/immature behaviourally.

I don't want to be 'one of those parents' and am not sure if I've not already turned into one...

[waves at Charlotte]

DS can be secretive sometimes. One time he got a special reward at school for something he'd written and didn't tell us. I heard from a Mum friend who's son had been working with DS and they'd both got the reward!

I would chill out about not seeing the writing and don't worry about not correcting it, it's slowly slowly catchy monkey at this age re writing improvement. The difference in DS's writing in YR and now in Y1 is huge, it sort of came gradually, just a bit slower than his reading.

I would want to carry on listening to her read though- do you do this? and writing myself in her reading diary. IMO they are too young to write themselves in this, it's a parent/teacher record of what's being read. Sometimes I ask DS for his comments on the books and write that, or just write "Read well".

My dd was like this in reception, slightly less so now in Y1. As she was doing ok versus all targets, I just left her to it. If you are concerned about what the teacher will think, talk to them. They may prefer you not to correct spelling or grammar anyway - often schools like to let each set of basics bed in before adding next rule.

hello
is there anyone else that she might prefer to help her?
dd1 gets given homework on a Thursday, but always choose to do it on a Friday when MIL collects her from school. she's never liked me "interfering" - i think because we share a stubborn streak, which doesn't lend itself well to me teaching her stuff, and potentially needing to correct her.

I would speak to the teacher and ask the teacher to tell her that an important part of homework is sharing it with you. Also she should not be writing in her own reading record. She is only 5, tell her not to and expect her to listen to you.

She sounds like she is doing really well for reception so I think you are safe to give her free reign for a while. Maybe if you feign disinterest she may find herself wanting you involved.

How did she learn to read in the first place? Is she open to bribery? If she is you could set her challenges and give her rewards.

Dd2 (5.3) is being very secretive about her work. We know she is doing really well (so no worries there) but she won't actually share her work with us iyswim?

She will not read it to us at all, is doing her homework alone and has now started writing/spelling her own comments on her reading book record. This weekend she has done some work on superheroes and written bits at the bottom, we haven't guided her with it, the spelling is not brilliant and there are random capitals in the middle of words. Will the teachers think we're disinterested slackers if we don't hear her read etc?

Her goals for the year are story writing and 'sharing her excellent work with her friends and teachers' (that's her PSE goal) so i suspect that she's the same there too- do you have any ideas about how to encourage this? She will not be corrected in anything either- which is quite difficult in itself.

She's 5 and can free read and write quite well, but I would say needs support with spelling and grammar, am I expecting too much?