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Self assessment is ok but the child has to be honest about it, if they are shy they might not want to draw attention to the fact they need more help or they may just put what their friend or other people on their table has because they don;t want to stand out. I asked a higher ability child today what things he wants to work on before SATs which he feel he is less confident in as I wanted his opinion alongside the teacher assessments. He told me 'I don't struggle with anything' then 15 minutes later he asks me for help because he is not sure how to multiply using decimals. Self assessment only works if the child is honest enough.

yes she is getting better thanks. it only seems we have a prob with this teacher all the other years she has loved school. and she is a very bright girl so it's not that she struggles with the work.

thank you! I am only a supply teacher though.

I hope your dd grows in confidence x

greensleeves you have very good ways of teaching. they make the lesson fun and more that the child hopes to get picked by the butterfly. nice idea.

I was just like your dd: very confident at home. But home doesn't stay with you forever.

I think the most important thing you can tell your dd is not "this is how to avoid a task that makes you uncomfortable", but "I understand that this makes you uncomfortable, but you don't have to always feel that way, you can learn to get better and better at it, confidence is something you can learn just like bike riding, some people find it easier than others but everybody can get better than they were".

I grew up with a very shy mother who excused me from all social interactions for many years because she assumed that if you were shy you had to remain shy. In later years, I have realised how much more helpful it would have been if she had reassured me that I could get over my shyness and perhaps have taught me some useful strategies. Instead, I had to teach myself in my early twenties - and that was not easy. But I had come to realise what a social and professional disadvantage my shyness was, and I became very lonely once I left my nuclear family, so something had to be done.

It's a bit as if I had been overweight and hated exercise and she had let me slouch on the settee- it made me feel less uncomfortable at the time but stored up trouble for later. I have put a lot of work into helping my own dc to get over their shyness in a gentle way, and it has paid off; they are both far more confident than I was.

thanks for all your answers just wanted to know dd is a very confident girl at home just at school with teachers. thanks again.

There are other ways of gauging where children are - self-assessment against success criteria using thumbs up/down, red and green lolly sticks, drawing faces on whiteboards

but there is no substitute for good quality questioning. It is an important part of teaching and learning and you need to support your child to get used to it, not encourage her to develop a persecution complex or find ways of avoiding it.

just a question guys I can c your points I just think perhaps there maybe other ways to find out the ability of an individual. I don't know I'm not a teacher hats off to those that r. but I have told dd stick your hand up and she won't ask you. so she is doing this but I think it's a case of getting over that shyness.

X post seeker

I'm with Schooldidi. It is important to check that all pupils have understood the work and I will do a bit of open questioning with hands up - and then I'm likely to ask questions directly to those I know will never put their hands up and volunteer. I make sure I've spoken to every pupil - and that they've all had to clarify something/answer something for me so that I can check understanding. It's one of the signs of a decent teacher IMO. If you only take answers from the keen/loud/overbearing kids then it is possible to find halfway though a topic that one of the shy ones didn't understand a major part of it but was too afraid to put their hand up and ask. And it is also done to boost their confidence a bit. If I can get a quiet pupil to answer and be able to say to them, 'Fantastic - that's a great answer, showing you've understood the basics. Can you think of anything else to add?' then hopefully it has boosted their confidence a bit and made them less self conscious about answering in future.

I teach primary and I put a LOT of effort into using different questioning strategies to involve more reticent children without making them die inside.

I have a butterfly which settles on the child it wants to ask, and a "choosy chicken" puppet with a daft voice that chooses children. And a big comedy foam hand for pointing, which is a bit more confrontational but works well with certain little boys who are difficult to engage.

Another strategy is to get children to talk in partners for a few minutes ad then ask them to tell you what their partner said.

Most teachers do not set out to make your child miserable.

I think the best thing for your dd is to try to help her confidence to the point where she is able to contribute to class discussions rather than giving her a carte blanche to opt out.

I used to hate PE to the point where I would rather not have gone to PE classes. But that would hardly have been a reason for the PE teacher to let me out of all the physical stuff.

Learning to express yourself verbally in a group is an important life skill.

Just as many people complain about quiet children getting passed over for the mor confident noisy ones!

Agree with Tuna. My DD in last years teachers words "isn't one of the many that tugs at my trousers" and is subsequently forgotten and looked over.

I would be very pleased if a teacher noticed her and asked her questions.

My last post was posted before OP explained further. But agree with others that ones that don't put their hand up need to be asked. Other than that not picked on.

thanks school. just curious as it was the same when I was at school although u may no the answer you don't want to speak infront of everyone. I hated it as u r more concentrating on hoping you don't get asked anything. it is now happening to my 8yo dd1 it's got to the point where she didn't want to go to school.

I think I know what you mean.

My DD 14 can be singled out/bullied by certain teachers but one in particular has pushed her too far-the worm has turned and surprise surprise now leaves DD well alone

Mytwobeautifulgirls Thu 10-Jan-13 22:13:34
"when they are teaching they always pick on the quiet ones to answer questions or the ones that dont regularly put up their hands to answer questions. just asking I'm curious "

That's not picking on someone: that's just making sure that the quiet ones aren't using their quietness as an excuse to drift off and not do any work. The talkative ones they can keep track on anyway.

As a teacher of rather older students, I can't help noticing how in every seminar it's the same two or three students who are doing all the work and when you do pounce on the quieter ones, an astonishing number of them won't have prepared what they were supposed to and won't have been paying attention to what you just said.

Because they are required to plan for and teach ALL of the children and this means staying in touch with where the children are and continuously assessing their understanding. You can't have "quiet children" sitting glazed over not participating. The teacher would be letting those children down and failing to do the job properly.

Asking questions isn't a way of humiliating children, it's informal assessment and it is important.

What schooldidi said.

Why would you want me to ignore children who don't volunteer answers, and not involve them in my teaching?

The puils who don't regularly put up their hands could be shy or they could not understand. I need to know which of those it is.

Do they ? I was quiet at school and was ok. My DS appears to be quiet at school and so far has been ignored. Seems to be if you quiet and middle ability you get looked over.

I don't think they do, do they?

ha ha ha sorry just read that ha stupid predictive texting