3+ 4+ 5+ 7+ support thread 2013

(319 Posts)
mumteacher Wed 19-Dec-12 22:26:41

I have had a number of messages asking if I have any spaces in my classes. I'm really sorry but I have been at full capacity for some time now.

However, I do appreciate that this is a very stressful time of year for parents who have children sitting these private school assessments in January 2013. So, I'm hoping that by setting up this support group thread I can help by answering some questions you have about these assessments.

Hopefully this thread will also contain some useful insight from the experiences of parents who have already been through the process.

horsemadmom Tue 12-Feb-13 12:39:06

I have nothing but respect for Mrs. Newman and she means what she says. Oh, after 10 years as Head and many before that as a teacher at NLCS, she is hardly new. Your 'clients' would most likely have got a place without your help. You've just made a bit of money.

maya1234 Tue 12-Feb-13 12:51:09

Who knows? It certainly isnt a level playing field - thats for sure.

mumteacher Tue 12-Feb-13 13:41:21

Sorry for the confusion I typed hm and my I pad changed it to new! Certainly didn't mean Mrs Newman is new to headship or teaching. She is an experienced teacher and a wonderful person.

However, it would be professional suicide if she said anything other than 'don't tutor your 3 yr old'

I'm sure these parents would spend everyday in the park after nursery with their 3 yr olds if the school assessments tested how well a child climbs the monkey bars! (how fab would that be) ;)

Mulberry house had around 15 girls sit Nlcs this year and around 8 got a place. 10 of my students sat and 7 got a place I must be doing something right. Maybe I should open a nursery and then it wouldn't be called tutoring anymore!

Horsemadmum you have made your position on this perfectly clear, but I have had tens of messages thanking me for my advice and help. These parents feel that they have no where else to turn to since parents who have been through the process won't share as a previous post pointed out. On that note you've a had a number of girls sit these assessments yet I didn't read anywhere you say - my DD said she was ask to draw a picture .......etc! Why can't you be more helpful?!

If parents like you would help others there may well be no need for tutors like me. Just saying read stories and do a few puzzles isn't enough! We all know and do that!

Sure I charge because I have a family to feed but I haven't charged a penny to all those who I have helped on mumsnet so I don't understand your upset. Is it because I make a few pennies or that people tutor at all?!

horsemadmom Tue 12-Feb-13 14:08:04

Actually,I have been helpful with SOME assessment info. I certainly wouldn't say what they are looking for even though I know. You shouldn't fake developmental milestones (it's what is IN the picture).
I do object to tutoring. I object to the creeping culture of insecurity and sharp elbows. They are looking for bright bunnies who are ready to learn and will approach school as an adventure. You can't fake this even at 4+. What you might be able to do is help a marginal candidate who might find themselves overwhelmed and might have been better off at 7+ or 11+. I see increasing numbers of parents stoking up their childrens' insecurities at school. Children need to struggle sometimes, to persevere and come out stronger. Even, heaven forbid, work harder! If the answer is always a tutor, that child will always know that mummy and daddy bought their achievments.

Nickmom Tue 12-Feb-13 14:35:35

Mumteacher,I an with you. I learned the hard way that no matter what any head says tutoring works. At any age. We took the "high road" for 11+ and now it is my DD who isn't at the school she wanted. Many of her less academic friends who were tutored aggressively are there while she is sailing along at the top of her class but not working much at all.

Socialist Tue 12-Feb-13 15:37:23

Horsemadmom, people will do whatever it takes, sometimes, to get an advantage for their child. I understand your position and I support it. But please don't be naive to think that HMs at private schools are not aware that they offer admission to tonnes of tutored children every year! As someone has already mentioned, it would be suicidal for them to publicly claim they do it.

I know of three children (2 educated privately and one at a state school) in the last 5 years who have tried to get into ncls: only one from a state school and who wasn't tutored (contrary to what I have read here), made it. So, maybe schools like nlcs have a way of detecting coaching (I personally don't know) but still it can't be 100% perfect.

Mumteacher - well done, you! Do you prepare children for 11+? xx

horsemadmom Tue 12-Feb-13 15:38:41

11+ is a different kettle of fish especially if you are going state to private/grammar. My objection is to 3+ and 4+ tutoring.

Socialist Tue 12-Feb-13 16:01:37

Horsemadmom, I agree with you and understand your objection all along. I have a friend who thinks people like Mumteacher are scavengers because they encourage and feed on the neurosis of tiger parents - who think it's the end of the world if a child does not get into their school of choice at 3/4.

Mumteacher's record is, however, remarkable.

Turniphead1 Tue 12-Feb-13 19:17:08

Does Mumteacher select her kids though? A lot of tutor's have very good records because they won't take on kids that aren't fairly super bright already.

Turniphead1 Tue 12-Feb-13 21:13:25

Clearly I need tuition in the correct use of the apostrophe. Tut tut.

mumteacher Tue 12-Feb-13 22:50:29

^ I certainly wouldn't say what they are looking for even though I know^

If you know why can't you be more forth coming?! For *?%! sake it's no wonder parents turn to whatever help they CAN get because those like you who are in a position to shed light -don't!

A three yr old these days can be going to ballet classes, tennis, art, gym, music, speech and drama....etc. What they do with me for an hour is puzzles, play dough, discussions re animals really a lot of what they do at nursery - I just fine tune it so they do these things in a way that will benefit them in the assessments.

These children spend longer sitting with a pen and paper at their art class don't see anyone massively objecting to that! Just because it's termed tutoring does mean they are doing worksheet upon worksheet.

My 4+ class went to see a sheep being sheared - does that sound like tutoring?!

Turniphead1 I only work a few hours a week so the selection is by the numbers I'm able to accommodate not ability.

Socialist I'm trained to teach to 11 but currently don't tutor for the 11+.

Nickmom I'm sorry things didn't work out for your DD the 11+ is the most competitive stage and many parents start prep themselves in year 4 and get a tutor in year 5. It can raise the benchmark. Being at the top of her current class will give her self esteem a massive boost and you can always keep her challenged at home with a little extra work yourself. X

maya1234 Wed 13-Feb-13 09:04:18

horsemad i wonder how you would feel if your kids didn't get into NLCS or wherever they are....

I'm pretty certain you wouldn't have such an arrogant attitude...you would be the same as the rest of us on here.

Everyone has been trying to keep this thread for assessment help, yet you constantly change the topic into whether to tutor or not, no one is interested in your opinion on tutoring here, only information which can help parents in preparing for assessments.

emanuela Wed 13-Feb-13 17:19:23

Hi maya1234, I agree with you on horsemad. Why don't you just leave it if your children don't need any help and are perfect in every sense? If my children were so perfect I would not spend my time in the education section of mumsnet.

Unfortunately my children are not as good as yours and we want to discuss to see the best way to get them into a good school.

Once they are in, we will take care of them if they are struggling.

Maya1234, I will send you a pm about the girls who do the assessment tonight.

I read that somebody feels sorry for me because I said they don't have what it takes. Unfortunately some people do and some people don't and need some help.

A person who graduated with me got all the big jobs (Goldman, merrill, Morgan Stanley). It was very disappointing for me who had to prepare and work extra hard to get my job.

But it is the same for the girls. What is it that annoys you so much about tutoring the girls horsemad?

X2mum Wed 13-Feb-13 17:56:53

Thanks for all your tips. My DS is sitting Habs 5+ this week and he is an aug birthday total panic!!! Any advice?

mumteacher Wed 13-Feb-13 20:22:07

X2mum a little late in the day for any thing solid but make sure he has a hobby he can discuss in depth.

Make sure you speak with the head. He'll be floating around.

Good luck x

grimsleeper Thu 14-Feb-13 17:45:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

iseenodust Fri 15-Feb-13 13:07:16

DS has passed 8+ for the school we wanted.
MumT the tip for the story hill was really helpful, not a way DS (of little imagination) had had it put to him before. Thanks.

mumteacher Fri 15-Feb-13 21:09:30

Iseenodust congratulations that's amazing.

Boys are usually either visual learners or learn by doing and not really by watching. So story hill really does work for them. Glad to have been of help x

5+ boys underway - hope it's going well x

rollerskaterabbit Thu 21-Feb-13 15:57:49

Has anyone heard anything yet from the 1st round Habs boys 5+ assessments yet?

X2mum Fri 22-Feb-13 16:33:18

Yes we were a no - boo hoo! DS is upset thought he would not even notice as I didn't make a big thing of it! Anyone else heard?

Twistynickers Fri 22-Feb-13 17:46:48

Through to next round at Habs 5+

Not sure how I am going to cope over the next few weeks!

Millhillmummy Sat 23-Feb-13 19:01:03

Hi, my son has just got through to second round. Any idea of what is to come and what we can expect?
Thanks!

anewdispensation Fri 01-Mar-13 00:42:41

same here. any advice on hab's 2nd round?

mumteacher Fri 01-Mar-13 07:57:24

Muilhillmummy have pm you again

Itsnevereasy Fri 01-Mar-13 10:13:27

Hi mum teacher, have tried to pm you about Habs 2nd round too. Hope to get some advice. Thanks.

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