Reception DS got invited to a football party by a classmate's parent - does this mean birthday party? What is the etiquette?

(25 Posts)
confusedperson Wed 21-Nov-12 21:43:47

Hello and sorry, silly me. This is first invitation to us (paper note in the book bag) and a specific boy invites DS to a football match. Does this mean a birthday party, right? If yes, what is expected budget for a child that I have never seen in my life? (my DS is only a couple of months into school).

Another question - I have a little toddler whom I have nowhere to leave, would it be completely inappropriate to drag him into the party?

RedZombie Wed 21-Nov-12 21:47:54

Yes it's More than likely a birthday party. For the present, it depends on your budget i usually fall somewhere between £5-£10.
Toddler - usually it's ok to take them along but don't expect them to be involved in the party, be fed or get a party bag.

confusedperson Wed 21-Nov-12 21:54:37

Thanks RedZombie (what a nickname!). oh good I assumed correctly about the birthday.
Great if I can take the toddler, obviously I do not expect an allowance for him, but anyway just did not appear rude (especially this is a child and a mum I have never seen in my life - working FT so never at school...)

confusedperson Wed 21-Nov-12 21:55:01

*did not want to appear rude

bellabelly England Wed 21-Nov-12 21:58:32

Party invites usually include a phone number so you can RSVP. I would phone, just as a courtesy, to confirm your son's attendance and ASK if it's ok to bring the toddler along. Phoning also allows you to ask if the birthday child has any particular interests - makes choosing a present easier!

LynetteScavo England Wed 21-Nov-12 22:02:01

So is it a football party or a football match?

It's normal for birthday parties to be football parties.

They may expect you to drop and run, or hang around, so maybe speak to the parent when you RSVP.

LynetteScavo England Wed 21-Nov-12 22:04:16

Hell, no don't ask what gift you should give, it will always be something far more expensive than you'd plan to spend, and difficult to procure.

<<not yet recovered from the request for a "£15 Bratz 10 years ago>>

confusedperson Wed 21-Nov-12 22:10:09

It is organized by a football centre but presumably it is a party. Oh gosh, if I call I will reveal how not knowledgeable I am, and the person may be to polite to refuse my toddler. But thanks for ideas. I shall pick up my courage tomorrow smile

housesalehelp Wed 21-Nov-12 22:17:34

i would say for a football party a toddler might not be that welcome - as I imagine there will be football games which they might try to join in - but if you can keep under control - in reception some parents left the child - but I guess if you don' the parents you might not want to -and also guess it would be nice to meet some of the parents maybe?

simpson England Wed 21-Nov-12 22:21:57

DS (yr3) had a football party at his last birthday and it was 30 mins (maybe 45 I cant remember!!) running around with a coach followed by food and then another 30 mins playing football with the parents supervising.

His football party was also done by a local football centre and no toddlers were allowed to join in as you pay per child but there was loads of food so enough food for siblings to eat iyswim. And the party was broken up into small segments so a toddler would not be bored for long. DD (4) was there but not joining in in the actual football part and she was fine.

It was also free drinks for parents at the bar ( tea/ coffee etc and free juice for all kids including siblings).

bellabelly England Wed 21-Nov-12 22:22:29

Haha, Lynette - I didn't mean you should ask what the kid would like as a present - that would be madness! Just what things they were interested in. (Football probably, in this instance!) Then you can buy a cheap and cheerful sticker book or similar, roughly based on that. Saves having to actually think.

AnnoyingOrange Wed 21-Nov-12 22:22:35

If it is run by a football centre they probably won't need you to stay

NightLark Wed 21-Nov-12 22:23:19

Football parties I have been to (too many) - excess toddler has always been fine, footballers tend to be focused on games, parents at the edge chatting, drinking tea, complaining about the cold etc, often with younger siblings. Ask when you RSVP - 'DS would love to come to X's football party, but I have to have little DC with me that day, will that be OK?'.

Agree with £5-10 for presents.

I didn't leave DS until Y1, that was normal here. No-one left reception kids.

simpson England Wed 21-Nov-12 22:24:04

Yes you won't need to stay unless you want to and some parents stayed for DS's party and that was fine.

There is an area that you can sit and watch the kids play.

hf128219 Wed 21-Nov-12 22:24:59

Google the venue etc and you will find out the exact sort of party it is probably.

NotQuintAtAllOhNo Wed 21-Nov-12 22:25:31

I will assume a football party is a drop and run, so you might want to ask mum if this is the case when you call to RSVP.

The organizers will be busy playing football with the kids, birthday childs parents will sort the food out. It will usually be 1- 1/2 hours of football (could be outdoors!!) and half an hour reserved for the birthday tea.

At least, that has been the setup when my sons have been invited to football parties.

confusedperson Thu 22-Nov-12 09:30:05

Thank you for all replies. I just texted the mum with exact NightLark's wording, worked out it is better to give time to think, rather than call and ask.
This is the 1st party DS got invited and I am so keen to do everything right as I never see other parents and this is my only chance to show off get to know other parents.

stormforce10 Thu 22-Nov-12 13:54:54

(I'm a regular poster but I've name changed as I think someone was about to out me sad)

If you do stay do what you can to help birthday child's mum. I had DDs party recently and quite a few parents stayed - she's year 2 but we were offering drinks and nice snacks for parents so they were mainly in kitchen while children were in living room.

Lovely parents helped do things such as pouring squash from big jugs, passing plates of food round clearing table afterwards (ie chucking just about everything in bin bags), cutting and wrapping cake after happy birthday had been sung and various other bits which just helped the party go smoothly. I didn't ask for any of these things but they jumped in and did them and they know favour will be /has been returned when they have parties. Dealing with and catering for 20 or 30 over excited children requires more than one set of hands however organised you are

Butkin Thu 22-Nov-12 14:14:35

Most kids go to a Football party at some point. Even our DD went to one in Yr 1 organised for a boy in her class.

The one DD went to was in a village hall and a professional team's coach came and taught them skills for a while and then organised mini indoor 4 a side matches. All this followed by usual birthday tea.

DD was told to wear her trainers and long socks with shin pads but this was normal for sport by then anyway.

confusedperson Thu 22-Nov-12 14:28:54

Yey, the mum replied that I can bring the toddler along and I can either leave or stay for a drink. I am not sure if I am comfortable to leave (yet) but looking forward to see how it goes.

OwlLady Thu 22-Nov-12 14:37:01

I spend £3-£5 on presents or stick a fiver in a card, it's completely acceptable. I have also had people to parties who have bought a box of maltesers or matchsticks or some only card, I personally think that is fine as well but I don't measure children on their parents financial position - we are in a recession afterall

Hersetta Thu 22-Nov-12 15:03:37

DD has 6 parties to go to between now and Christmas so it gets expensive. I would reccommend Argos. They have a good range of games at for 2 for £8 including things like junior guess who and 3D snakes and ladders which make great gifts. They also have at the moment the chad valley version of jenga which is half price at £2.49. so a great cheap option.

RedZombie Thu 22-Nov-12 20:07:18

I usually stay, it's a good chance for a gossip with other mums.

dixiechick1975 Thu 22-Nov-12 20:56:48

I'd stay then you can chat to the other mums.

Reception seemed like DD had a party every week - to save rushing around at the last minute I have a drawer with some suitable presents in, wrap and cards. I look out for things like puzzles and games in sales.

confusedperson Thu 22-Nov-12 21:20:00

I already bought a table game for £9, that probably shows how much I want to get to know other mums, but thanks for the suggestions and ideas - defo will use them for the next time.

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