Advice from "old hands"?

[CamperFan]

as it were. So, how do you have a good relationship with the school/teachers etc? How to help your child get the best out of primary school? On joining the PTA? Volunteering at the school? Dealing with problems?

I have no clue, so if anyone has any tips that would be great!

[GooseyLoosey]

I tell them about the good things the dcs report home and thank them for those. I am nice to them and treat them like people and ask about them. Then hopefully, when the negative comes up, it is easier to deal with for us all. I once wrote a letter to the head about the most amazing teacher saying just how amazing she was - the head couldn't believe it!

Good luck.

[lovecheese]

1. Join the PTA, they should welcome you with open arms
   
2. What Goosey said, aknowledge their hard work with your child and thank them - teachers probably only hear grumbles, not praise
   
3. Work with the teachers re; reading, homework, any areas that need extra help and communicate with each other and be honest
   
4. If you have the time do volunteer, again they will probably be very grateful
   
5. Remember that they have x amount of other children and parents to deal with and that they are human beings and have a life outside of school!

[plinkplonk]

Yes, acknowledge the good things - very smart thing to do! Follow the rules and don't give any hint that you, say, disagree with phonics or homework etc. Don't assume the school will bend the rules for you - but if they do, be really grateful. Always be extremely nice to the school secretary.

At parent's evening, in particular, say how pleased you are (if you are etc). Ask if there is anything in particular you should be doing at home. I see this as credit in the bank - the nicer I am when things are going well, the more likely they are to listen to me when there is a problem.

When you have an issue, ask politely if you can have a word (or make an appointment if your teacher prefers not to speak after school etc). Explain the issue clearly and simply - don't accuse the teacher or other children, but do say how your child is feeling/acting. Stick to the facts - it is much harder for them to fob you off if you are clearly rational.

None of it worked with dd's first teacher though.

[lovecheese]

Acknowledge thought it was wrong when I typed it but just couldn't work out why, and I'm usually spot on with spelling.

As you were...

[DownyEmerald]

Yes volunteer - made my relationship with the teacher and TA a bit more easy and chatty so felt much more confident when raising an issue.

Also meant I could ask for more details, or just WTF was going on, where the communication from the school was less than perfect!

Plus got to know the other kids so much more, which is lovely.

And yes, be nice to the secretary!

Don't know abotu the PTA, can't make up my mind. I haven't so far; wondered if it might help me feel more comfortable talking to the headmaster - but apparently he is still quite formal at the PTA meetings, so prob not worth it.

[CamperFan]

That's really helpful, thank you.

[Iamseeingstars]

Agree with all the above. Helping/Volunteering to do the boring jobs, ie stapling, pinning stuff on walls, photocopying, collating, sticking pages in books etc., are all time consuming jobs that if a parent can do, which means then the teacher can teach.

If you are helpful allthe time most teachers/heads start to appreciate you a bit more. Not sure that it helps with getting the best for my kids, but the staff understand me and what I expect and are a bit more co-operative when I want info.

[JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar]

DS has just started Y6. Other than helping out at the odd weekend event, buying baking cakes for the class cake sale and offering to come along on the odd trip, I've done bugger all volunteering-wise.

Dp and I work full-time so it's difficult to help out in the day.

Hasn't done me or ds any harm that I can see.

If I have any worries I talk to the teacher. We rarely do pick ups or drop offs these days (ds is almost 11 - he takes himself to schools and brings himself home) but on the very rare occasions that I've needed to talk to the teacher, dp or I have asked at drop off if they'd be able to see us for a few minutes after school. They always say yes.