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DD1 is nearing the end of Reception and her teacher still does not recognise me and has never given me any feedback on DD1.

11 replies

Artichokes · 21/05/2011 20:35

Should I insist on a meeting or is this normal.

DD1 is summer born so did not start Reception 'til January (that is how it work in our area). The school had parents' evening in january but they did not give appointments to summer born Reception parents because our children had only been at school for three weeks.

I work Mon-Thurs so only do pick-up and drop-off on Fridays. At drop-off they line up in the playground then walk into the classroom themselves so the parents do not see the teacher. At pick-up the teacher lets them out one at a time once she spots their parents. Every week she fails to remember who I am and eventually DD1 sees me and runs out of her own accord. I have never been in the classroom.

The teacher does write comments in DD1's homework book and reading log but they are generic comments like "Great work" or "Brilliant reading".

DD1 is happy at school but tells me almost nothing about it. So basically I feel totally disconnected from her schooling. Is this unusual? Should I insist on a meeting even though I have no specific concerns about DD1? This is not what I thought my relationship with my childrens' school would be like.

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compo · 21/05/2011 20:37

I think it's fine
you'll get a report at the end of the year and if you have any queries you could organise a meeting
we had one look around the classroom in reception I think
but at the end of this term she will come home with all her work so you can look through it over the summer

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compo · 21/05/2011 20:39

Thinking about it though in reception in the first week the teacher met with all the parents before the children started
how is the school on communication generally?

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Artichokes · 21/05/2011 20:47

I think the school are OK about communication but I have nothing to compare it with. The school sends a weekly newsletter home with announcements about assemblies and plays and clubs etc. Each child has a "link book" where the teachers stick announcements and forms for you to fill in and you can write messages to the teachers.

I just find it odd when I read on here about people think their DC's children are the best or the worst or whatever and I have literally no impression of DD1's teacher. It makes me feel like a bad mother that I am totally disconnected from this hugely significant part of DD1's life.

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teacherwith2kids · 21/05/2011 20:48

Do not see it as 'insisting on a meeting' - phrase it as 'I only pick up and drop off on Fridays, and I'd love to know a bit more about what DD gets up to all day as she deson't really talk about it - is there a time when I could pop in and have a quick look round and a chat?' and I should imagine that the teacher would be only too happy to let DD show you round the classroom at the end of the day, or make an appointment at another time if that doesn't work. Or ask iif there's anything you could be doing to support your child's learning outside school - just sound interested, not accusatory, and all will be well!

Every reception teacher I have ever met has a very 'open door' policy for parents, as they are dealing every day with parents who are new to the whole 'school' thing and will seek advice on everything from packed lunches to school milk to nametapes to friendships to reading schemes. So don't wait for a formal invitation - be interested, be friendly, acknowledge how busy the teacher is likely to be just before and after a school day and I'm sure that you will be welcomed.

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MovingAndScared · 21/05/2011 20:50

Hi- it doesn't sound unusual -but at my DS's school if you want to talk to the teacher you can -doesn't have to be any special reason - she should be doing observations etc and could show you them -

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allbie · 21/05/2011 20:59

Our reception class is very inclusive and the teacher has a very individualistic approach to every child. She appears to actively enjoy talking with the parents and has established a great relationship with the parents and children. I am amazed you haven't been in the classroom. Be pro-active.

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Goblinchild · 21/05/2011 21:01

You need to make the first move, are all the parents feeling left out and ignored or just you?
If you want more detailed comments in the reading book from the teacher (IMO she should be writing more useful stuff) then comment in the book about it.

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thisisyesterday · 21/05/2011 21:06

it sounds very much like ds1's school in how it is managed, and I think it's fine

however, if you want to go and talk to the teacher you should! ds1's teacher and TA are both more than happy to stand and have a chat once all the kids are out of the classroom (there is sometimes a queue tho!)

so if you want to talk to the teacher then don't feel you can't! you don't necessarily need meetings with her, you just need to go and have a chat. Obviously if you'e tried that and it hasn't worked then yes, I'd say that's unusual and you should maybe ask for a meeting to see how she is getting on

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Artichokes · 21/05/2011 21:21

Thank you everyone. I feel spurred into non-dramatic action now. On Monday I will write a simple note in the link book saying something similar to what TeacherWith2Kids suggested and asking if I can have 5 mins after school on Friday.

I don't know how the other parents feel as I don't really know any of them either. I say "hi" to a couple of them but that is it. I guess that just adds to my feeling of detachment: I don't know the teachers, the other kids or the parents. Its odd because at DD1's nursery (which was part of the same school) I made friends with loads of the parents and regularly chatted to the teachers. The same opportunities just have no arisen this academic year.

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letthembe · 21/05/2011 21:41

I think it is very reasonable to ask for a 10min chat after school, make an appointment and explain what you'd like to talk about - it will give the teacher chance to get together anything they might want to show you. I must meet with a parent once a week on average - I really don't mind, it's part of the job.
I would also try to make a play date with one of your DD's friends, it's a way with friends. I also find it hard as I work full-time but my DC are now Y2 and 3 and I've slowly but surely made links. Good luck.

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redskyatnight · 21/05/2011 22:13

In DD's Reception they create a scrapbook for each child which has evidence of satisfying the early learning goals. Is anything similar done at your school? If so, it would be perfectly "normal" to ask if you can see it.

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