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Tiny bit frustrated

45 replies

athbert · 29/03/2011 20:18

I teach a mixed y1/2 class. I personally read with each child at least once a week and more for children who are finding reading more difficult, and on other days they are read with by my Ta or (rarely) a mum helper. Every child reads to an adult daily. We change books daily/when they are finished according to what mum/dad/carer has written in reading record (ie "read to p4" from adult - don't change. "finished book" - change), which we check daily.

One parent in my class insists that her child is not on the right level, wants her to read the more advanced books and knows which stage her kid's friends are on as she checks the book bags when they have play dates (freely admits this!)

I KNOW what level this child is reading at. I assess her all the time. She is regularly read with, by me, the class teacher (at least twice a week).

So - as I said in OP!

Any thoughts on how to handle this?

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thisisyesterday · 29/03/2011 20:25

i would say what you've said here.,
that you read with them frequently and you are happy that she is on Level whatever, but if she wants to read more advanced books at home then she can?

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LowRegNumber · 29/03/2011 20:30

Can you continue to read at level but also provide her a higher stage book for "home reading only" or do you think the parent could push her beyond her ability?

It is a tricky one but, for the record, you sound like you have a very good approach to reading in general!

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MammyT · 29/03/2011 20:32

I think you sound like a great teacher. I'd be thrilled if my child read this often to the teacher; normally it's to a volunteer twice a week.

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Michaelahpurple · 29/03/2011 21:03

Your children are very lucky - I think this much reading attention is rare, and excellent. I suspect there will always be mothers like this (the book-bag-peepers) and sadly it falls to the professionals like you to resist, to avoid overwhelmed children, or little mindless "point and bark"-ers.

Be strong!

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choccyp1g · 29/03/2011 21:33

Since she is such an expert, how about getting the mother in to help with reading? Then she will see for herself that the other DCs are in fact better readers than her little darling.

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blackeyedsusan · 29/03/2011 21:39


if i were the parent, i would want to know why eg. she can't remember anything about the story. she can't use an index... whatever it is.

I would also want to know what I could do to help at home. (idiots guide to reading at home)

when you are next going to review levels

presumably you have done all that already.

Have you explained that a lot of children read at a lower ability at school (because of distractions/noise/ confidence)

have youtried her on a higherlevel and she couldn't do xyz...?
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athbert · 29/03/2011 22:10

Thanks for responses. This child is still blending and sounding out. Almost every word, except ones she has learnt to recognise, e.g. "the" (and Chip and Kipper! Wink)

She is not confident with sounds - still working on phase three of letters and sounds document. Does not speak in full sentences either.

Lovely kid, very nicely brought up - definitely, at the moment, at the lower ability end of the class - though who's to say it won't click later on - as LONG AS she learns the basics she needs and has a solid foundation.

I seem incapable of explaining this to her mother, who has been recently writing things like "Lucy (not her name in real life!) needs to move up a level. Other children have more interesting and advanced books"

I have explained about doing a little bit of phonics work at home each night, and provided resources. At her (mum's) request, I have also provided "Breakthrough" type catch up literacy work.

The child now says to me every time we read together "When am I moving up a level?" Sad.

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athbert · 29/03/2011 22:15

Oh -and Blush at great teacher comments! I think I do OK, but am not some kind of super teacher! I am lucky in that I have a small class and do not have to attend assemblies except Monday or if it's my turn to actually take assembly, and also have a half hour library slot scheduled in every week where my TA takes them to choose new library books and I keep some back to read with on a rota system. Plus I tend to take them out for a few minutes in Golden Time on a Friday to do some reading as well.

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Littlefish · 29/03/2011 22:17

I think you need to meet with the mother and explain to her that you assess her child on a weekly basis. Outline her child's strengths, and explain where she still needs to make progress.

Be very clear with her and say that you are confident that she is reading at the right level, and that once she has secured the relevant phonics/blending/tricky words etc. then you will, of course, move her up a level.

In the meantime, suggest that she continues to read widely with her child at home, including regular visits to the library.

If she continues in the same vein, then I would ask your key stay co-ordinator/deputy head to be part of the meetings.

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athbert · 29/03/2011 22:26

Yes, I think I will have to arrange to talk to her again (although she has been in to see me several times already (which is fine by the way - I can always make time after school unless I have a meeting or commitment, and in that case will arrange as soon as poss), and each time I find her a little bit intimidating tbh, and unwilling to listen to what I am trying to tell her.

She does work very hard with her daughter at home, and is a very supportive and involved parent, but if I am going to be completely honest, I think she is going a bit far and her daughter seems to be losing confidence if anything.

I am a parent myself, so I do understand wanting the best for your own child absolutely - but this is (IMO) not a good way to be going about things. Why on Earth does "Lucy" know what levels her friends are on? And want to be "as good as" them?

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Littlefish · 29/03/2011 22:28

key stage, not key stay!

If you feel intimidated by her, then I would involve senior colleagues at this stage to be honest.

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athbert · 29/03/2011 22:34

Yes, maybe you're right. I want to keep things as calm as possible though. I have discussed this with my Key Stage leader, and she has said is willing to sit in on a meeting (and reassured me I'm right - has read with the child herself as I asked her to to double check my judgment! And I have been teaching for 8 years, but usually in KS2 so this year has been a new experience for me, so I didn't feel as confident as usual!).

Hope asking a senior colleague to sit in will not make me look as if I don't know what I'm doing/am questioning myself?

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RoadArt · 29/03/2011 22:38

I used to give books from other schemes that parents couldnt identify with as easily

Its great that you do listen to children so much, at least you know for yourself where the child is at irrespective of parents views.

May be arrange a reading session with the parent listening so that the child can demonstrate how she is reading and then you explain to the parent what you are looking for

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CarGirl · 29/03/2011 22:38

Could you ask a different teacher to hear her read and then write in her book/speak to the Mum. Could you ask the mum to concentrate on getting her dd to retell the story in her own words because them understanding what they are reading is more important at this stage than good blending

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piprabbit · 29/03/2011 22:42

I do reading with some 6yos as a parent volunteer, I am always slightly Shock that so many of them (and it is usually girls) are so interested in what books their friends have, what levels they are all on, when they will be changing levels, what their mummies say about moving levels etc. etc.

I just smile, tell them how pleased I am with their reading and then change the subject/distract and get back to reading asap.

But there seems to be an awful lot of playground discussion going on among the children as well as the parents.

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RoadArt · 29/03/2011 22:42

If the child is reading the low end of books then as a parent they are probably considered boring and not challenging and parents what some more "meat" in the stories.

Parents also have different views on what is considered good reading. Some seem to think that just by saying the words then that is enough whereas others realise that making the story sound interesting is just as important.

Good luck. Maybe you could ask a colleague to review the child so that the parent knows you are taking her concerns seriously.

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dietcokeandwine · 29/03/2011 22:47

God, I wish DS's school did reading like you do! DS gets one short session of group reading per week (about 6 in the group) and to my knowledge they do no one-to-one reading at all. And since the earliest days of reception they are only allowed to bring a reading book home once a week (regardless of what level they read at, and with the simpler books they are just supposed to read the same book every night until it's time to change it)

Anyway. I digress. It's telling, I think, that this poor child's mother is writing things like 'other children have more interesting and advanced books'. Er, yes, probably because those children are capable of reading at a more advanced level! From what you've written here, she isn't actually giving you any evidence of why she feels "Lucy" is ready to move up (i.e. writing something like 'at home she is easily reading more challenging books like X and Y and demonstrates a good understanding of these'). I suspect that she knows, really, that "Lucy" is on absolutely the right level for her at the moment - she is just panicking that her child is not at the same level as some of her friends' children - hence the pushing for her to move up.

As to how you handle it, though, that's a difficult one. You've obviously tried explaining it already only to have it fall on deaf ears! Not sure how blunt you can be in the notes you write back to mum via the reading record? (presuming you also write in it, not sure if it's just for parents to write in). Could you paraphrase some of what your wrote in your 22.10 post here (i.e. her need to build up confidence with sounds and blending and so on which seems to sum up the situation pretty clearly) just to back up what you are presumably verbalising to her when she asks you about reading? or would that not be considered appropriate?

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athbert · 29/03/2011 22:48

Thanks for all advice! I did come off the scheme and found all manner of books that were of a similar level but not ORT (we do this for all our kids as a matter of course anyway as we don't like to stick to just one scheme), but her mother was not satisfied - they are still "not challenging enough". But they ARE!!

I think another meeting to try and get both of our points across with my KS leader present is really the only answer at the mo.

Her daughter is lovely - just, at the moment, struggling with school work. She's only 6! And she IS making good progress, for her, at this time. It prob doesn't help that her best friend is reading at level 2a/3c, and that said friend goes to tea every Friday!

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RoadArt · 29/03/2011 22:49

Sorry I have said the same as someone else below.

I used to listen to a child who refused to read the books because her mum said they were too easy and insist on her reading books with lots of words in.

So she couldnt read the school books because she wasnt confident enough in her reading and struggled to decode or blend. One day I asked her to read her own book and whilst it was a longer book with words rather than pictures, the words were extremely easy. However, when I listened to her she couldnt read that either.

But the parent made the situation worse for the child who got extremely distressed at reading time.

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CarGirl · 29/03/2011 22:51

Ah, well that is clearly the issue - big academic gap.

Perhaps explain to her that some children get to grips a bit later than other but then shoot ahead.

I'm sure our KS1 teachers are very glad that I'm really not bothered on my dc reading skills, didn't even read at home until they could read and get off the first level! One of them went from later starter to free readers in 2.5 terms Shock - when it clicks it clicks!

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athbert · 29/03/2011 22:53

Oh! Missed a few comments! I have asked another colleague to read with her (KS1 leader) and she agreed with my assessment. And I do write in the record (as does TA and occasional mum every time we read with her (and all the kids).

One comment in reply to mine was "You don't understand "lucy" like I do!"

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athbert · 29/03/2011 22:54

I keep missing comments! I am reading them all, honestly! Thank you for all advice again!

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christinecagney · 29/03/2011 22:55

OP- you are a conscientious teacher who knows her stuff. Do you use book bands? Can you use or borrow a PM Benchmarking kit - it's really useful for confirming judgements. If not then do a 100 word running record and see if the child has 95% accuracy or not : you need to be at 95%-97% to be reading at an 'instructional level' - i.e the level that is teaching you what you need to know (100% too easy,

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bosch · 29/03/2011 22:57

Since you already have a second opinion from your colleague, would it be worth asking the mum if she would like you to get a second opinion that could be relayed back in a meeting involving all of you? (bit mean as you already know that the answer will support you, which mum won't know, but might be a good way to get her on your side?)

The mum says things that clearly aren't relevant to your teaching (i paraphrase but 'i want my child to read more interesting books like lucy's friend') and i wonder to what extent you could be brutally honest and make clear that her daughters reading skills, while fine, are not where the mum hopes/believes them to be?

My ds2(y3) is having some extra comprehension homework at the moment and it's been interesting to us seeing the types of questions that we ought to be asking him about stories to help him extend his understanding/thought processes.

Assume the lucy's mum is as dim as me, and doesn't really understand how the reading scheme works and how you add together skills and work towards free reading. At work, I often think 'how would I explain this to my grandma' when I'm not sure that i'm going to cut through the jargon and explain clearly to a 'non-expert'. (not a teacher btw!)

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RoadArt · 29/03/2011 22:59

As a new parent starting school I wish I had had more advice that reading ages and levels really dont matter in the long run. I always wanted to know where my DC were at and researched all the levels and knew colours etc.

I was probably a bit paranoid - because I didnt know any better and no one told me it wasnt important and I didnt have anything else to focus on.

At one point I was told that one of my DC was on the Gifted register - but that turned out to not mean anything and several years down the line the reading age and actual age gap has remained the same, but so has many many other children.

I have also learnt to realise that good reading/comprehension/spelling skills does not necessarily make a good writer.

I have also learnt that there are so many skills necessary to make a good reader.

I think this is where feedback from schools to parents in reception classes would benefit all about what is important and what is not. I think because parents feel they are in the dark about what really goes on in school they find something to talk about because it is the only indicator you get as to how your child might be doing at school.

(I was never this forceful changing books though, I gave up very early on because I didnt get anywhere but reading books was a low priority in our school at the time.)

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