Has your dc been kept back a year ...?

[Carrotsandcelery]

Has anyone out there had their dc held back a year at school? If so who brought up the subject? What were the reasons for keeping them back a year? How has it worked out for your dc? Was it a good or bad decision? Please tell me about your experience.

We are wondering if being kept back a year would help our ds. He is doing fine, not brilliantly not terribly, academically but socially he is struggling. I keep wondering if giving him another year to mature would help him or if he would be devastated by being separated from his friends.

[seeker]

Before you think any more about this, you need to find out whether it's actually possible. I don't know of any LEAs that would let this happen - and even if they did, he would have to rejoin his cohort at secondary school level - so he would have to miss out year 7 and go straight into year 8. Which, particularly if he struggles socially, might be a problem. Sorry to be pessimistic.

[skybluepearl]

how old is son and how does he struggle socially?

[Carrotsandcelery]

I should have said we are part of the Scottish schooling system and I know of 2 instances at least in the school he attends where pupils have been kept back a year. I don't like to interview the parents though as it may be a sensitive subject for them.
The school has not suggested it as yet. He is young in his year group so between the ages for the two year groups iyswim.
He is also currently under investigation for some sort of ADHD type of behavioural difficulties - not diagnosed with anything as yet.
My son is 6 and in P2.
I am not sure if I want this for him or not. I thought hearing more of other peoples' experiences might help me to formulate my ideas and encourage the school in the right direction for him.
His social problems mainly lead on from the ADHD type of behaviours. (impulsive, intrudes on others' personal space, fidgets etc) He is also being bullied just now in a very complicated way (by a parent really) which is causing intense anxiety for him.

[FrumpyintheFrost]

I really hope you are able to get the best help for your son, and resolve the bullying situation.

I have no direct experience of keeping a child back for a year, but my son was in a class with a child who was held back (not sure of the reasons and none of my business tbh)
She was physically bigger and stronger than the other children, and this became more obvious as they became older.
Certainly the other children were aware that A was older than them, but was struggling to keep up academically, and I think this caused some tensions along the way.

However. if you are aware that this is happening already within your school then it may not present the same problems.
Just as an aside, would he be able to stay in the younger year group when he transfers to secondary school?

[Carrotsandcelery]

He would stay in the younger year group when he moved up to Secondary school.
He is currently small so at present he is smaller than some of the P1 boys. This may change though so it is a relevant point - thank you.
He is not struggling academically so that would be less noticeable - he is very average in that department just now although there is a suspicion that there is more to him if they could tap into it.
He just seems so much younger than the other boys.

[IndigoBell]

I'm in England so didn't have the option of keeping DD back a year.

But all I can say is that in R and Y1 I would have loved to keep DD back as she was so far behind academically.

Now, in Y3, she is still hugely academically behind, but I'm very glad I didn't keep her back.

Firstly even if she was kept back a year, she'd still be bottom of the class :(

But secondly, she's socially in the right place, and is far more mature than kids a year younger than her, and I think would really hate being only with younger kids.

It would only make her difficulties even more obvious.