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What to do?

14 replies

silversun · 07/03/2011 11:00

Apologies now if this gets long.
Ds2's birthday is on the 27th August and so will start school this september. He currently attends the pre-school attached to this school.
After concerns were raised by the pre-school leader we had an initial assessment from the local portage advisory teacher. She recommended that they should visit weekly and has sent us a copy of her report.
Briefly it was his reluctance to engage with the other children "appropriately", not joining in group activities and behavior issues that have been flagged up.
Being my third child(also have ds1 and dd) I feel I should know what to do but I feel totally lost. He has always been a handful but is a very happy little boy, keen to get involved with everything but does have to be shown or guided to play .
I don't know whether to push for a Jan start or even have him start next sept in yr1

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vintageteacups · 07/03/2011 11:11

Is there any reason to think that his development is different to that of any other 4 yr old? Does their report make any suggestions?

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squidgy12 · 07/03/2011 11:31

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bettyboop63 · 07/03/2011 11:42

unless you have other concerns in his development i wouldnt worry too much , all children develop at their own pace perhaps he just need more time learning to gain important social skills and will improve greatly when in full time ed, but id advise if you are worried you ask yr gp to see the paed at the child development clinic , personally id wait sometimes the 3rd siblings delayed in this area just because hes the 3rd and has siblings who do a lot for him without thinking and because inadvertantly as our last LO we sometimes enjoy babying them for a bit longer all done sub conciously of course, if though you know this isnt the case id give him a few months to settle in and dont put it off as may be best thing for him and see how it goes if after the next parents evening they are saying at first school they too are concerned then maybe its time to do something

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silversun · 07/03/2011 11:45

He is still only 3, the other two are 7 and 9 so are that much older although they include him in their games as much as possible. The pre-school have said they have applied for funding for a one-to-one teacher and "strategies are being put in place"
I work 3 days a week so when we're home we do things like the park, swimming,walking the dog and he loves cooking. when I'm at work he is either at pre-school or with granny.

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IndigoBell · 07/03/2011 11:45

Have they recommended he see a pead or anyone else?

Sounds like they are implying he has some SN which you need to get investigated....

Often they won't come out and directly tell you stuff like this. Either because:

  • they 'don't believe in labels'
  • or because they don't want to be the bringer of bad news
  • or because they think somebody else will
  • or because they're not qualified to do so (which they're not)

    So I would ask some very direct questions about whether they think he has SN and if so what they think it is.

    Otherwise how will you get referred to the right place?

    I wouldn't defer entry. Starting in Y1 will be worse for him than starting in Reception.

    If you have portage involved I suspect it means they don't think it will resolve by itself....
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IndigoBell · 07/03/2011 11:46

If they have applied for funding, then his issues are really quite significant.

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cazzybabs · 07/03/2011 11:49

I would talk to the pre-school about it. Don't think they have written him off - try and see asking for support as a positive.

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Hassled · 07/03/2011 11:53

I think you have to assume that the pre-school know what they're doing and yes, they would not expect to be getting 1-1 funding unless there was something significant going on. But it would be nice if you knew what, or what you should be doing to help. Is there a dedicated SENCo at the pre-school you could talk to? Sometimes you have to be quite assertive in going after straight answers. Don't be afraid to be pushy.

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silversun · 07/03/2011 11:59

They advised me to see our GP to get referred to a child psychologist, our GP thought this unnecessary and thought him too young,will see us again in a few months. The words hyperactive and hdd have been mentioned but nobody is willing to "label" him. Have been told to wait and see what comes of the weekly sessions. He has been at pre-school since last march,gradually going up to 4 mornings, concerns were raised this jan.I think beacause it's all happened so fast my head is just spinning

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IndigoBell · 07/03/2011 12:04

They are not qualified to 'label' him.

Getting a diagnosis for this stuff is really hard and really long. It's unlikely you'd get a dx in less than a year even if you started pushing really hard for one right now.

(As you can see now with you not even managing to get over the first hurdle of a referral from your GP)

Your son needs be seen by either a child development paed or a child psychologist. Burying your head in the sand won't help your DS.

So go back to your GP. Paint a much stronger picture of his problems and demand a referral. Your GP does not know him as well as nursery....

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vintageteacups · 07/03/2011 12:09

you could also pay for a private assessment from a child psychologist and show it to the preschool/GP

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chatee · 07/03/2011 12:09

I would go back and see you GP again and ask him to refer you to a paediatrician(either based in the community or a consultant at the local hospital), the reason I say this is because GP's are good at what they do-General practice and unless they really take an interest in young children they are not really the best person to enter into a discussion with(just like nursery staff- not qualified to give a diagnosis), especially with regards to a child possibly having additional needs.

I would do this sooner, rather than later as early intervention can be the key for some children and it's better to get an appointment booked now(it may take a couple of months to come through and then a couple of months to wait and before you know it 6 months has passed!)and I am sure a paediatrician would rather see a child and say no all is fine than you have to worry for months on end
Good luck x

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silversun · 07/03/2011 12:27

Re the GP this is what I thought- she has only seen him for a few minutes whereas the pre-school know him a lot better.Thank you all so much, I knew I could rely on mn to tell me whether or not I was fussing too much. Will now don armour and prepare for battle!!

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IndigoBell · 07/03/2011 13:30

Good to hear Grin

Come and post over on SN children if you need any more advice....

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