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Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Primary education

Tone of communication from school

20 replies

Floor7StaffordTower · 11/02/2011 17:33

Hi, I am probably being very unreasonable here, but yet again dd's school has sent home a letter demanding that the parents of children (in this case) selected to go to a sports event collect them from school early - fair enough, I know the school can't transport them etc, and I know all schools rely on parents to help out (and believe me we do), but a little please, thank you and acknowledgement that we often have to leave work early, beg lifts off others, and that it is not easy, would go a long long way... For last years school trip we were expected to drop off at the venue at 10am one day and collect at 1pm the next day, and the school wondered why we were upset. So, it's a state school - but we are essentially its customers, I wouldn't be happy to receive a letter written in this kind of tone from a business that I was a customer of, nor would I send anything anything quite so terse. I am quite tempted to write to the Chair of Governors about the Heads communication... I am furious with myself for being so angry about such trivilaity but................

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activate · 11/02/2011 17:36

not a usual request in my experience

they should ask for volunteers and take them on public transport / coach

they have a duty to educate

just say no

SandStorm · 11/02/2011 17:39

You could just say that you can't drop off at 10am and as such your dc won't be going on the trip and you'll be dropping them at school as normal. I bet they'd find them a lift pretty quick, especially if enough parents did that.

Chaotica · 11/02/2011 17:47

I agree with you about the tone. And the unreasonable request. (Unfortunately, we have similar with our school - they seem to have no basic manners towards parents to be honest.)

Katisha · 11/02/2011 17:53

Oh I SOOOOO agree. Have been fuming about this for YEARS.
And only yesterday DS was picked for a rugby match, taken to it in a minibus and then effetively dumped as parents were required to pick them up from the rugby club at 3.30.

I'm sorry school, but that is the middle of a working afternoon. If you can get them to the game in a minibus why the hell can't you get them back again? DH and I are AT WORK. And that's why DS has to get back to after-school club, not be taken somewhere else and then lo! 3.30 comes and he is no longer the school's responsibility.

And yes the tone drives me bonkers - usually expected to sign something saying "I accept that it is my responsibility to transport my child to x..." Well i DON'T accept that. If it's in a school day then I believe it is the SCHOOL's responsibility.

Floor7StaffordTower · 11/02/2011 17:54

I know, there is that route to take, but it always feels wrong to deny dc something purely because I am stamping my foot and ranting about something!, want to offer opportunities, and if she gets picked to go and play netball then I'd like her to go, but I would like the school to acknowledge that they understand it is hard for some parents to work round their expectations.

As for school trip, well they could only take them there in 2 x single deckers which would be more epxensive than the 1 x double decker they would usually book (something to do with access problems...) and since we were paying anyway you wonder why this has anything to do with it!!

The school also won't be seen to be involved in arranging lifts - not sure why, so you have to be a mind reader to work out who else is going that you might lift share with !! Amazing............. I don't know if this is to do with insurance /CRB /litigation etc if something went wrong and they were somehow linked with condoning it...?

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Katisha · 11/02/2011 17:56

And as for the lifts thing, if you are a working parent it continually puts you in a position of owing obligations which you can't repay.
No teacher would be in a position to take a day off to transport their own child somewhere - why this assumption that other parents are?

Floor7StaffordTower · 11/02/2011 18:07

Absolutely, owe more favours than I can ever repay but that is what the HT would suggest we do. Don't think she understands that theres a limit to how much you can put upon your friends, or that some people don't drive/have a car/or want to help. Drives me mad, but glad its not just me.

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SandStorm · 11/02/2011 18:08

I think the lifts thing is to do with insurance. Although at my dd's school as long as the office has a copy of your current insurance cert. they're happy to organise which child goes with which (volunteering) parent.

Also, as a staff member they need business cover on their own cars to be able to transport children around (I know this because I have it and do it).

choccyp1g · 11/02/2011 18:13

At DS school they have a simple system for sports matches, quiz competitions etc.
You get a form to give permission for the child to take part, and it includes a section of yes/no to helping out with transport, and how many additional children you can transport. The teachers attending the event also take children in their own cars. At the end, usually some more parents have turned up, but if not, any children needing to go back to school are taken by the teacher, or the parent who brought them in the first place.
So far it has always worked out fine. (partly because several parents (and grandparents) will risk the wrath of the boss to shout on the sidelines watch their darlings kick a ball around) I live quite near the school, so usually drop off other children at the end. I think it only becomes a problem if parents are precious about not wanting their DC to go in someone else's car, or (worse) not wanting to transport random DCs.
If most parents are working or otherwise unavailable, then surely the school has to work something out.

gobehindabushfgs · 11/02/2011 18:15

I agree about the tone, it isn't just your school. A bit of basic courtesy would cost nothing and go a long way. I think some long-term HTs actually immerse themselves so fully in the world of the school and its hierarchy that they actually don't realise that they can't just be bossy and dictatorial towards other adults.

choccyp1g · 11/02/2011 18:15

But I don't consider the parents of the extra children that I take owe me a favour. I'm going along to support my DS, and he's not going to stand a chance with only half the team is he? It's organised by the SCHOOL, we don't even get to choose which children we carry (apart from our own).

JoanofArgos · 11/02/2011 18:16

IS that what they said then? 'we demand that you collect your children'?

Golly, yes, I would be cross too!

Floor7StaffordTower · 11/02/2011 18:17

That's interesting SandStorm, was wondering about staff transporting children. Would love to suggest the insurance cert to the office, fab idea but bet that would go down like a lead balloon.

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SandStorm · 11/02/2011 18:23

Also, FWIW I didn't have to pay any extra for business cover on my car. All it took was a phone call to my insurer and now I can happily transport the children around all day if need be. It makes life a lot easier (I'm a TA btw).

RoadArt · 11/02/2011 21:07

I think its a catch 22 situation for a school.

If they ask parents to help, parents complain (usually because of lack of notice mind you)

If they organise a coach, parents complain because of the cost.

I do wish though that schools would have more consideration about the fact that many parents do work and they do need to give their employer more notice. One day is not sufficient for the majority of employers

Katisha · 11/02/2011 21:19

But what has happened to school minibuses? DOes no-one have them any more?

RoadArt · 11/02/2011 22:13

I dont think so.. Insurance is too expensive. Overhead costs, extra drivers.

Floor7StaffordTower · 11/02/2011 22:16

No minibuses - no money... and then they have to find someone to drive it... To be fair one of our local primaries shares a minibus with another school, I think that's a venture that I might suggest to our new PE teacher as there are other local schools we could share with, if there was any money around... the new PE teacher is from a private school so she is used to a whole fleet at her command and therefore might, just might, be receptive to that idea... we'll see.

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Littlefish · 12/02/2011 16:34

It would be worth them trying to develop links with a nearby secondary or special school. Many special schools have their own, or access to minibuses which they are able to lend out (for a reasonable fee).

ragged · 12/02/2011 16:48

Very bizarre, OP. DC have done sports events and I've never had the sorts of problems you describe. Late pick up sometimes, as needed time to travel back from an event, but not early . Maybe we're highly lucky that DC can usually walk to the competitions (a mile across town)? Further away schools have hired minibuses and asked for parents to contribute to costs.

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