Anxious and confused..should I defer starting DD in P1 in Aug 2011 or give her another year in preschool.

[suestar35]

Hi...please can anyone with experience help me!!...scottish school system

DD1 just turned 4yrs (in Jan) and has the choice to go to primary school in Aug 2011 or defer and leave her in preschool...she would then start school at 5 1/2 ish (Aug 2012).

The preschool are really saying it is up to the parent to make the decision but they feel she would be 'fine'.....however they did say there would still be loads for her to do in preschool and believe she wouldn't get bored.

I feel in giving her another year will help her develop and grow and she would be more likely to cope better at school and perhaps perform better...I have also been told the lower level/composite groups tend to be made up of the younger kids. I feel she is bright enough and I have no desire to push her but just want the best for her.

Can anyone advise on what they have done please?

Thanks!!

[CecilyP]

Only you know your child. Is she bright and confident for her age? Does she have good fine motor skills - does she like drawing and colouring and that sort of thing? Can she sit and concentrate on quiet activities for a reasonable period of time? If so, she is probably ready for P1.

Another factor to consider is, does she have a friendship group who are going into P1 or will most of her friends still be at nursery next year?

[bluejeans]

Hi Suestar

I was in the same situation as you and decided to defer. DD probably would've been fine going to school at 4 but I do feel she has an advantage being one of the older ones.

Things to remember are that children from the year above may have deferred so she would be starting with children who will be a full year older than her

Secondly it means going up to secondary at 11.5 instead of 12.5. my DD is in P6 now and I am quite glad she isn't gong to High School this year. Some of the P7s just seem so much older/more mature than her

There was another thread on here recently, I'll see if I can find it and link

[bluejeans]

Other thread here

[nulgirl]

Good point about who she mixes with socially at nursery. My dd was 4 a couple of months ago and so is starting p1 in aug. This year she has struggled at nursery this year socially at nursery because she was friends with all the older children last year and now feels that she has been left with the babies. She is desperate to start school and another year at nursery for her would not be the right decision.

You should make the decision based on her emotional maturity. Remember that she will grow up so much in the next 7 months.

[pointydug]

Think about her peer group and friendships for bothe years but don't get too hung up on it, especially if they are a very similar mix.

There was some fairly recent research in Scotland (reported in TES at the time) that showed a few of the youngest boys in particular can struggle and that continues into high school.

I have never met anyone who regrets holding their child back.

Only you can decide and the large majority of young ones do just as well.

[nulgirl]

Another factor that you could consider is how many hours she will spend at nursery next year and whether you could do things with her if she is only there part time. My dd spends several full days a week at nursery due to us both working so she finds being with the younger children annoying and tiresome. If I could do more grownup things with her in the afternoons she wouldn't find it as boring.

[poppyknot]

I would be inclined to defer - no explanation is required (at least where we were) and as pointydug says no one ever regrets the decision to defer.

[ln1981]

I didnt defer ds1 (birthdasy 27th feb). I certainly dont regret that decision-nursery were happy that he could cope with it, and i was too-he was so bored with nursery by the time summer came!! He found P.1 a breeze (not so easy for him in P.2 due to other issues unfortunately) but is now back on track.
As others have said, you know how your dd will cope better than anyone, but if in doubt hold her back, Im sure it will only be of benefit to her. Letting ds1 go to school was an easy decision for me, as i knew he could handle it, and he was very confident for his age.
Good luck!

[Mrschaps]

I am in the same position,my dd turns four in Aug and is due to start English school system reception year two weeks later. I think we should defer but have been encouraged by the school to let her start in sept. I really could do with as much advice as I can get as I just think 4 is too young...

[pointydug]

I didn't think you had a choice in England?

[wakarimasen]

I have taught P1 for a few years now and I would definitely defer if you are in any doubt at all. There is absolutely no harm in children starting school later. Children sent to school too early can often struggle as they are not ready for many of the concepts being taught. Give her time to thrive at nursery and by the time she starts school she will be confident and ready for the challenges school brings.

[admission]

Whilst there is clearly a decision to make about when you think a child is ready to go to school, there is also a decision to make that is about admissions if you are in England.
There is of course the issue of having to go to school after you child has turned 5 but it is more complicated than that.
You have asked for and presumably will receive a reception place for September 2011 in the school you want. You can defer entry to the school but if you defer for the whole year, you do not retain the right to the school place. You are then left with the problem of finding a school place for the beginning of year1 when many schools will be full. Even if you appeal many schools will be subject to the Infant Class Size Regs and you have little or no chance of being given a place.
So by all means defer entry but make sure you agree with the school, before this years summer term finishes, to start at the beginning of the spring term or the summer term. My advice for England would be not to defer for the year because you simply will have more problems with getting a school place than it is worth.

[letsgetloud]

Mrschaps- as admission said- england is a totally different ball game.

Here in Scotland if you defer you Jan/Feb born child they will still start at P1 the following year. In England if you defer you summer born child that child will miss out on reception year and have to start school in year 1.

My dd1 (June birthday) started reception at 4 and 3 months. Very young, for full time school but no chance of deferral unless I was prepared for her to miss reception all together, and start her in school at 5 and 3 months in year 1.

Whereas my dd3 in a Jan birthday and we are now in Scotland. She should start school at 4 and 7 months in P1, but I could defer her P1 until she is 5 and 7 months.

I now know dd1 was too young for full time school, compared to her peers. It has knocked dd1 confidence as she has always been in bottom sets, and the queen b's have always been the older girls in class. She now has the social skills to deal with not being the most popular but until two years ago did not. Unfortunately, in England you have no choice and have to start your barely 4 year olds in school full time.

[suestar35]

Many thanks all for taking the time to respond...it's given me food for thought.

When I think about it dd1 really enjoys attempting to draw and can do basic pictures and loves colouring in and jigsaws but not for long if I a not in the room...I have to be sitting with her for her to really enjoy it....As a child she is v friendly with other children but def more reserved with adults..it has been noted by the nursery.

A know a few of her friends are going to school in Aug 11 - they also have Jan/Feb bdays so yes this makes if difficult, Although these children have at least on older sibling...which I believe can help the younger one to develop??

DD1 just started preschool in Aug (2010) so to be honest it is all still quite new and really exciting for her.

The decision has also been made difficult by my family...ie sister, mother...who believe I don't want to let her grow up(honestly it's not) and that she will 'withher' at preschool for another year....

I have another child..dd2..who is just turning two now..and I work part time and a bit more sometimes so my time and energy to give alot of teaching to dd1 is reduced at times...

any more comments most welcome...
Thank you.

[wakarimasen]

Ask the nursery staff for their honest opinion. Nursery staff will know your child and will be able to give you advice with regard to how she would cope in a P1 class. Your daughter won't wither in nursery at all - staff are well trained and will ensure she is challenged and stretched appropriately!

Family pressure is tough but you know your child best and it's up to you to decide what's best. I've seen a few wee ones come to P1 when they are only 4.5yrs and are just not ready. They can end up feeling lost and struggle to keep up with learning. That's not to say that some of the youngest in a class don't do very well. It just depends on the individual

If you have even the slightest of doubts then give her another year. It certainly wont do any harm. They dont even start school until age 6 or 7 in many EU countries and I often feel we put too much pressure on our children when they are still very young.

Good luck with your decision!

[pointydug]

yes, nursery staff are very good at advising

[redpanda13]

Also remember that her nursery friends may not go to the same school or even be in the same class. I was in two minds about deferring DD (Feb birthday) but she was so insistent that she wanted to be with her friends. She actually made a very good argument for her going and even mentioned that she was not born in March so should start in August. I thought 'feck if she can work that out she should do just fine at school' Everyone else from her nursery ended up the other P1 class.
Luckily she has settled in well and is flying it with her schoolwork. Yet I keep worrying. It is still early days. Every parent I know who deferred do not regret it yet those like me who did'nt are waiting for things to all go tits up.

[weebob]

I deferred ds so he started school when he was 5 and a half.
He is happy and confident and I'm glad I did it. The way I think is that the poor lambs are going to be in the education system for goodness knows how many years - let them have an extra year of fun! It's not hurting anyone and if you think they are capabale education wise then support them at home. There's no need to stick them behind a desk if you don't need to :)