6yr old disclosure re: "bullying"

[onanightlikethis]

ds is 6, in yr 2. he can be a sensitive chap, and over the hols has had a friend to play. this friend disclosed things to me that have been going on at school involving another child. apparently, this other boy says things at the dinner table like "hands up if u think X is a nerd" "hands up if u think X smells" etc...where x is my son.
the friend also said he had been on the end of this name calling. i said to my son tell the teacher if this is going on, he said he cant as he gets called a tell tale. where to go from here?
some of it i am sure is normal 6-7yr old chat/ banter, but ds also said he pushes him and shoves him in the yard. they arent in the ame class, so teache cant keep an eye on it. is it worth mentioning? i dont want to get labelled as an over anxious parent.

[IndigoBell]

I would definately talk to the teacher - and say exactly what you told us (minus the bit about being labelled :) )

Then what you do next depends on what the school does...

[MaryMotherOfCheeses]

It may be normal banter but there's no harm in having a chat with the teacher.

I'm more concerned that your DS feels he can't talk to the teacher. If I was the teacher, that's something I'd want to knock on the head straight away.

[Sushiqueen]

I would definitely speak to the teacher and ask them to keep an eye on things.

I had an issue with DD in yr 2 where one of the things was a friend had drawn her a card with a baby on the front with a label - "that is you". And then had written "R I P" in the middle.

DD had no idea what that meant but told me that it didn't mean "tear it".

I went in and had a quiet word with the teacher saying I didn't want to make an issue of it, just wanted to make them away that there seemed to be some problems. She promised to keep an eye on everything and let me know if there were any problems in school.

She also spoke to the whole class as a group as part of their group talks about how to treat friends and other people.

Teachers prefer to know if you think there may be a problem. Sometimes a general chat can help and they can advise the play ground supervisors to keep an eye on what happens at breaktime as well.

[elliepac]

My ds is a sensitive soul too and we had an issue in year 2 where he was getting bullied for having scruffy writing, taking too long with his work etc. By a nasty group of girls who were 6 going on 16. I told him to tell his teacher but he then said they had said they would 'get' him if he did. I wrote a letter to his teacher and to be fair the school dealt with it straight away with the girls being called to see the head and some mediation between them. You must speak to the teacher and then see how the school deals with it from there. It is very upsetting for all concerned and the sooner it is dealt with the better for you and your ds.

[mrz]

If the school aren't aware of the problem then they can't deal with it. I know being called a tell tale is a big thing when you are 7 but he does need to tell his teacher if he is upset by it.

[onanightlikethis]

thanks, it doesnt help matters that he will have a new teacher in jan, so wont have any trust in her. he also says that the teachers arent in the dinner hall anyway, so cant do anything, and when he has told a dinner lady, they have said "oh dont do that" or something equally ineffective to the naughty child in question.
thanks for not making me feel like a worrier...

[confusedeasterbunny]

If your son hasn't mentioned it to you then it may be that it isn't bothering him at all .Not reacting is the best way to stop teasing and your DS sounds like he is coping with the situation just fine.

[Hassled]

Yr 2 is a tricky year - you see it so often, both on MN and in RL. Children really seem to have a sea-change in Yr2 - they start to bully a bit, or they are on the receiving end, there seems to be a huge leap in confidence with some and those who aren't quite there end up suffering.

Yes, talk to the teacher, and ask at the office for a copy of the school's anti-bullying policy, so you can be sure that they're doing everything they should be doing, and so that they understand you're treating this seriously.