How would you approach the teacher about this? Or would you not?

[InkyStamp]

My DC is loud. I know this. I definitely know this. He has been increasingly getting in trouble for this. Fine, Good. As he should.

However, there is the very small chance that he is getting bored (I know, MN HATES this 'excuse') but it is true. He has had the same level reading books all year (and yes, I know it is early in the year) but they are clearly too easy for him. I go to the library and he gets other books from there that he reads at home. I ever so tentatively approached the teacher and she said he was at the right level. Ok I trust that she knows her job so left it. However he is even saying now that he wants harder books! (He does NOT overhear DH and I talking about this btw)

They are meant to be working on things like:

Letter formation - he can write, although could be neater.

Literacy - He knows all his phonic sounds (and did at the start of the year) and I am now working on the two letter phonemes with him as he needs these for the books that he gets from the library. He knows and 'sees' the magic e. He knows many of the high frequency words.

Days of the week. I said to him today we are doing something on Wednesday, He replied 'ok, the day after tomorrow?'

Counting and ordering to ten - he came home today and counted the fridge magnets. 52!

And this is the curriculum for the year!

Now, socially, he has to learn when to STOP and his , ahem, listening skills could be better.

But Dh and I feel that perhaps his reluctance to listen and participate and stop playing and do some work could be perhaps because he is bored because he knows that when they sit down to do work it is stuff he already knows.

We are quite firm at home and he is forever being told to calm down and listen and stop etc etc and that he is too loud. he is a naturally exuberant boy! But he is great when he is focussed on learning something and will concentrate for ages on whatever it is. He asks all the time for us to look up stuff and he will come up with it later on at some random moment having put it together with all the other bits of information he has collected.

We are by no means saying he is bright or whatever, just that perhaps his energy could be redirected? I know it is hard, as we try to do it all the time (and often fail!) and there are 30 odd other children in the class.

I dont really know what I am asking..what are your thoughts on this? Could he be bored do you think?

I just dont want him to think that school is somewhere where you go to cruise around mucking up. Getting rid of the 'disruptive' label is very hard. And we think he can achieve well, but he is the type of child that you need to direct his focus and I just dont want him to lose his motivation to learn because he thinks he knows it all??

Oh I dont know! Thoughts??

[HystericalMe]

I totally understand, but from the teacher's point of view, he has to learn to behave in the classroom. Yes, he might have lots of energy, can he walk to school?


What year is he in? Reception? Year One?
You could challenge him at him, when he is not learning through play of course.

[Tortington]

talk with the teacher is deffo in order.

[InkyStamp]

Hyterical - yes, have just written a post in behaviour about teaching him how to stop himself. he says he doesnt know how. We had a weekend 'practising' how to be quiet and to listen but it was a dismal failure! I totally agree he needs to listen to the teacher and shut the hell up and do what he is told!! We walk to school - about a mile.

Custardo - do you think so? she was so dismissive when I dared suggest that his books needed changing. He has had over thirty at the same level? I wrote (perhaps passively aggressively!! ) that he found a certain book to easy. Her very next comment was that he had read to her and needed to sound out words. she has made a few like this now (since I spoke to her) whereas before she would write things like lovely reading, good use of expression (so he clearly GETS what he is reading iyswim?) How would you approach it?

[Sops]

This sounds a lot like my ds. Everything you've said rings true.
My ds says things like 'I don't like the school books because they don't even tell me things I want to know' and demands 'proper' books with information in.
However, I think that in reception teachers are very focussed on getting a really solid foundation in phonic knowledge before they put a child up a reading level as they don't want them to get at all discouraged as it can really put children off reading altogether.
In terms of behaviour, we had already warned advised the teacher at the home visit that he could be volatile and demanding and told her that he would need firm guidance. We wanted to get in early and prevent him from being labelled the 'naughty' or 'disruptive' one (as you say these labels can be hard to shake off).
She has been great and had us in to meet with her and (lovely) TA when things were a bit sticky (messing around at carpet time, hitting other children, general unruliness etc etc). We took ds with us and this turned out to be a really good ploy as he sat in book corner and overheard us as we talked (very positively) about things we could do to help him and action he could take. Since then his behaviour has been 100x better.
Tbh the first term is very much getting the children settled and getting them 'functioning' within the school (and there is nothing more important than this for their long term success at school) once xmas is over they'll actually start some 'real' learning and they will be in ability groups for this.
I would say that best bet is to speak to the teacher about his loudness (don't mention him being bored else you could get a MN-style flaming) and ask what you could be doing at home to support his listening and social skills.
Regardless of how bright he is, he needs to be able to function well as part of the class so he'd better get practising those skills now!

[Sops]

Also, don't worry about what level book he's on at school just have a quick read of school book and sign his reading diary then he can read whatever he enjoys at home the rest of the time.

[trickytroggle]

Learning through play is also about keeping children motivated and interested. Books that children feel are too easy bore them - no interest, no motivation. I'd have another chat with the teacher. Perhaps if she realises how strongly you feel she may try alternative books, she could always drop down again if they're too hard.

[InkyStamp]

Thanks for your responses!

Sops - how did you give the background (re the other thread about what we have done so far) with your DS in the room to the teacher. Because obviously she needs to know what we have tried etc. I agree the positive talk in front of the teacher would be good.

Some suggestions on how to frame what I am saying would be great if anyone has any!

I definitely WONT say he is bored, as I think with the right guidance he would be fine. Like I say, she is the early years practitioner so I know she knows more about it than I do, but then I know my son better! Would love to work together, but how do I get that across?

[WowOoo]

You've already had lots of great advice, so will try not to repeat.

Your son sounds a bit like mine (much brighter actually) but the loudness, attention seeking and not listening ring a bell.

I'm putting all my attention on DS1's:

1.Listening,repeating and clarifying instructions.

1. Staying still for longer than two minutes with no other stimulation. Just sitting still.
   

1. Being quieter, waiting his turn and thinking about others in the room -his brother, dad, me, friends etc.
   

Have had great feedback so far and he's broken his own 'keeping still and quiet record' of approx 1 MIN and 55 SECONDS

Good luck!

[InkyStamp]

Euphemia - Definitely agree that his behaviour is an issue. But my point was, the behaviour would improve if he was not bored. He is misbehaving (we think) because he is bored. If he wasnt, he wouldnt. Having said that, I agree being disruptive does take up too much of the teachers time and does need to stop.It is totally not fair o the other children. I have a post in the behaviour section that details what I have tried in this regard and asking for advice. What I was going for was a 'two pronged' attack! We sort out the behaviour TOGETHER, us being firm and 'practising' inside voices, being quieter and more considerate, taking time to cool/calm down (wowooo how did you do this?) and her helping direct his focus more.

[InkyStamp]

Oh and wowooo pmsl @ 1 min 55 secs!! I so totally get that!!

[rabbitstew]

Maybe your ds is bored not because he has nothing to learn, but because he doesn't understand why he needs to learn it. From his point of view, he can read, so why does he need to sound out? So, of course there is a link between his boredom and his behaviour, and he shouldn't just be told to behave even if it's boring - he should be helped to understand why it isn't boring, or at least why it's necessary and therefore why he should try to behave a bit better and listen.

In other words, the problem is not necessarily solved by giving him harder books to read, but by helping him understand what on earth it is he is trying to learn so that he can engage with it a bit better!

I entirely agree, you and the teacher need to get together, so that you can explain where you are coming from, she can explain to you a bit better what she is trying to achieve and how, and then you can both try to get the message through effectively to your ds!!!!!

[crazygracieuk]

There isn't a lot of formal sitting down to learn in Reception.
A lot of the sitting down and behaving is for mundane reasons like sitting while the teacher does the register, waiting until everyone has lined up before going to pe, waiting until everyone is quiet before they go to assembly... These things are not related to academics really and have to be endured.

Have you considered not reading school reading books and just reading home ones? I've sent back many school books unread.

[gabid]

In reception my DS was often bored by sitting and listening, and did what he enjoyed most: being silly and playing stupid games with whoever would play along. He didn't like being told 'no' and played the system - he had been to see he headteacher twice, in the first term I think. He was very headstrong, told the teacher 'no', found it hilarious to roll oranges across the playground and just being stupid. His teacher told me that many children that age can be quite determined and that he will grow out of it.

This year (Y1) the teacher told us he was fine, not refusing to do any activity etc.. I observed her once talking quite firmly to DS: 'stop being silly, it's not funny' - and DS stopped immediately.

At home we have our boundaries and expectations and at times it has been difficult(when he was 4), especially when he was tired or didn't want to do something, e.g. getting dressed (what a nightmare it was for months and nothing worked).

DS's reception end of year report said he was doing well, the teacher said one area he was a bit low on was 'social emotional' - so I think DS was a bit imature and I think he still is in Y1.

[gabid]

In reception DS never read the school book. I let it go until summer term - teacher said yes, he is reading them very well in school. DS is still not reading school books and I don't push him. He loved ORT for a while, now he reads Harry and the Dinosaurs. I write in his reading log what he reads and the teacher is fine with that.

The school books seem to be at a fairly low level, but he seems to enjoy reading and discussing them in his group at school, he says he is the best reader - seems to be good for his self esteem so I leave it.

[gabid]

One more thing - as DS refused to read school books his teacher got him to choose a book and sometimes he brought home a couple of them - didn't work with my DS though.

[WowOoo]

Inky - the keeping still thing..... We are still working on it!

We shake our sillies out. Dance around mostly to music of my choice/his choice/his silly singing . Then, music stops and he sits on a cushion until I put music back on..

Musical chairs basically.

Also, I get him to do jobs - tidying up and putting things as far away as possible in gardenor house . Then, when he gets back he has to sit down and keep still until next job.

God, it sounds so perfect and great when i write it but in reality it's bloody carnage!

[Sops]

When the teacher came for a home visit before term began we went into another room away from him and outlined to her the behaviour which we thought may cause issues in school.
eg. gets over-excited and 'giddy' easily, often leading to playmates getting hurt as doesn't know when to stop.
Demands a lot of attention from adults as always wants his questions answering immediately (sometimes a problem to him when you don't know the answer!)or his book reading right now
Gets engrossed in activities and completely ignores anything you say to him then will have a melt down when its time to stop and do something else (even with plenty of warning)
Gets frustrated when either the toy or the playmate won't do what he wants them to and then lashes out.

Also told her how we've struggled to overcome these probs. Time out doesn't work for him. We've tried it at home and they tried it at his nursery school but no matter how many times he sat out, it never stopped further bad behaviour.
Reward charts back-fired a bit as we had one and his behaviour was great- result! but then after several months with no aggro at nursery he started hurting again. Neither us nor nursery could identify any changes that could have caused a sudden relapse. Eventually he told me that he was hurting because "I haven't had a new toy for a long time, so I want another reward chart to get one"

At the school meeting a few weeks into term (the time he was with us)we discussed:
How he wasn't "naughty" he just needed to channel his energy in a more productive direction.
We knew that he could sit and concentrate for long periods when he chose to, so it was well within his capabilities.
Teacher said that she didn't want to punish him but wanted to help him to have a better time at school and make sure other children didn't get hurt.
We talked about what he could do when he felt himself tipping over into 'giddy' behaviour and came up with a plan of taking a favourite book in (he likes quite detailed non-fiction books which they don't have in their reception book corner) he chose a dinosaur encyclopaedia and he has a special place to keep it in the classroom and can go there when feeling over-excited.
The book idea came from the fact that he totally loves books and almost no matter how giddy he gets he will always sit quietly and concentrate if he has an interesting book to look at. Does that work for your ds?
The teacher also pointed out that he behaved much better at carpet time if he sat next to her so asked him to sit there in future.
At the end, he came over and we said to him that what we wanted was to help him to have more fun at school and not have a boring time sitting under the clock and we knew that he could do lots better with this plan.
This was about six weeks ago and so far no sitting under the clock and several times on the 'pot of gold' for good behaviour!

Sorry for long post- didn't know there was such a lot to say until I wrote it all down!
Hope this helps a bit.

[dolfrog]

Hi InkyStamp

Could your son have a listening disability, Auditory Processing Disorder (APD) which theMedical Research Council estimates affects 10% of children to some degree.
There are various sub types of APD, which is why the assessments are made using a battery of test.
There is more information on APDUK web site

[gabid]

Just been going on about children starting school too early in the UK on another thread, and that research shows that ideally formal learning should start at age 7.

This isn't going to be of any help but may DC in reception and Y1 be a bit young for doing what they are told for 6 hours each day. Some thrive, most conform and some rebel because they want to play and learn what they want to.

[thebelletolls]

We were given a children's book called 'Ziji - the puppy who learned to meditate'. It's the story of an very lively dog who chases pigeons and is taught by a little boy to meditate and calm down. It's actually a sweet story if you can ignore the fact that some dogs are like that. Anyway it's quite anthropomorphic but in the best way, and your ds might just relate to it. Mine did.