Confused over which would be better for my 4.4 year old DD

[dearmummy]

My DD is 4.4 years old, she has speech delay and had seen a speech therapist for more than a year (it stopped and hven't heard for new appointment), her delays thought to be 9 months of her actual age.She understands language well it just her pronunciations aren't always 'soundly' correct. She's v sociable, happy little girl, no problems interact with other children. She's in full time nursery and got place offered a place for reception in January. but since today, i hv decided to take her out of her current nursery because she's so stressed out of being in this nursery (she was attending a part-time nursery before for a year and she loved it there). We moved her to her current nursery thinking that it wld be good for her to start to learn of being in school for full time, but she's been screaming, kicking, didn't want me to leave her and even talked in her sleep of not wanting to go to her nursery, something that she has never done before. We are thinking of returning her to her previous nursery in January (they full until December) and so that she start reception in September, considering that she might not ready yet for reception and children her age do not really understand what she tried to say. We are confused whether she will be prepared herself in reception in January or in regards with her condition (her speech delay and her not readiness) to just returning her to her nursery and re-applied for reception place again for September next year, We aware that children start reception 'commonly' by the age of 4-ish, but not all children the same aren't they?....pls help

[PatriciaHolm]

Is this state school? Then you need to talk to your LEA -to be honest your chances of being allowed to defer a year are very very small, especially for a small speech delay. I would imagine you don't really have a choice in delaying her in state I'm afraid.

[dearmummy]

Yes, it is. Do you think so? I'm new to this as she's my first born...but thank you for yr advice :)

[MrsVincentPrice]

It's virtually unheard of for children to start state school a year late unfortunately, even if they're born at the end of August.

[dearmummy]

Deasr mrsVincentrice, Yes, i'm afraid i do agree with you too...One of her previous nursery mate's mom said to me that it wld be better for her to start reception when she's older like all of her 2 sons, she has 4 boys (my daughter's 26 august her third son's 19 October), so when she start in Sept., she will be 5 and her son will be 4.10 years old...Honestly i was quite agree with her too, just because i agree that thinking probably the older thy are the more capable they're in handling 'issues' in school etc, I don't know....thank v much 4 yr input though :)

[IndigoBell]

In Scotland you can defer entry - but it's not normally possible in the UK.

Although you don't have to start school till the term after you turn 5. But that can mean you start in Y1 instead of in reception.

[roadkillbunny]

If you were to wait until next year to start her at school she would miss her reception year and go right into year 1, not the best plan for most children as reception year is all about getting used to school, starting on the basics of reading, writing and maths, forming class bonds and generally learning through play.
My dd had a speech delay which is now a more general speech problem, due to congenital issues in her mouth she is unable to form many sounds correctly, she had surgery a year ago in the first term of her reception year and has made improvements but there is still a long road to travel. She is a happy sociable girl with lots of friends but she does struggle to make herself understood at times, has confidence issues when it comes to speaking in groups large or small and her speech issues have rolled into issues with reading due to not being able to form all phonic sounds correctly.
For dd being at pre-school and then school has been the best thing for her, she is a late May birthday and the youngest girl in her class but the school environment has been able to help and support her, she has had an IEP from her first term and is on the SEN register meaning she gets fantastic support at school and now she is in Y1 her speech therapy takes place at school so is able to become part of her curriculum, as part of her IEP she also does small group work with others in her class who have had speech therapy, my dd has no idea she is on the SEN register, she doesn't even know what that is, she is not singled out ever as having a problem and is very happy in class but I guess that comes down to the quality of the school.
If I were you I would be making an appointment with the school to find out how they are going to support your dd, find out what the provision is, make sure they are aware of her needs, with plans in place and a supportive school there is no reason why your dd can't make the transition to school in a way that is acceptable to all, your dd, you, the teaching staff and the school as a whole.

[dearmummy]

Dear IndigBell, Thanks for yr input...I was thinking reception class instead of Y1 actually when she's 5...but I will talk to her school and see what assistance they can offer for her....:)

[dearmummy]

Dear roadkillbunny (can't help but smile with yr nickname :) )
Yr input is v helpful...I will definitely make an appointment with the school...yr explanation of yr dd is exactly just like my dd...she's all that of yours...Hopefully, this school will give the same support like your dd's scholl...thank you v much....:)

[Runoutofideas]

If you have already taken her out of nursery, would she be able to start reception now, but only go part-time? It may help her get used to the idea of school, without it all being too stressful. I agree with those who have said you will struggle to get her accepted into reception next year, more likely it would be Yr1, and only then presumably if they still have places. In my opinion she would miss loads, both socially and educationally, by not attending reception. Good luck with your talks with the school.

[Littlefish]

dearmummy - you need to speak to the school straight away about your concerns if your dd is due to start in January. If you decide not to send her to Reception in January, she will have to start Year 1 in September (and miss Reception completely. There are one or two local authorities who will accept children out of year, but it is extremely rare.

[dearmummy]

Dear Runoutofideas & Littlefish, Will definitely speak to the school Monday first thing in the morning...Mt husband and i don't want her to miss a thing in terms of school and the ideas of it...this is the reason why posted it here...you are all have been a great help with yr inputs...For sure she will not return to her full time nursery, forgot to mention that yesterday to put plaster on her face as an excuse for not attending nursery, she was scared and distressed that i 'd leave her there...and this was the point where i finally decided that this nursery did nothing to assure her, i had to ask one of the teacher that i need someone to comfort her and he called one of his assistant. At her previous nursery they gave their full supports comforted her, without asking,this how it should been done...anyway...highly appreciate it :)

[Littlefish]

dearmummy - it's likely to be half term next week, so you may not get hold of the school until 1st November.

I hope things go well.