How would you handle my 10 yr old DS's disappointing parent interview?

[Sarahlou8]

Hi there, can anyone advise me?

My DS is 10 and in year 6.

He has had a short attention span right the way through school, even though he is extremely bright and capable.

Looking through his work last night at parents evening, his work seems to have gone backwards, it's messy, rushed, sometimes unfinished, and full of teacher comments to neaten up/take more care.
His teacher confirmed that although he knows he is capable, if he can't express himself on paper he is going to fall behind.

We came home to talk to DS about it but admit it all sounded negative from his point of view, he became upset and I'm really worried we handled it completely wrong, leaving DS thinking his teacher (who he really likes) doesn't like him.

I did try and point out the positives too, but at 10, he needs to know that he can do so much better.

We have considered a reward system for good work but with only two parent interviews a year it is very difficult to keep track of what is happening, especially in year 6 when teacher contact is at a minimum.

Any ideas on how to encourage him to do his best? I would be very grateful.

[pagwatch]

perhaps you could have the conversation with him again asking him what you can do to help him

We had this with DS1 for a while and at first talked about the aresa where he was struggling and telling him how he should improve.
It upset him

We then sat down again and had a conversation a bit like this..

'you are immensely smart and we want you to enjoy school and feel confident. It is obvious to us though thatthere are some things you find really difficult - in the same way that I struggle to remember things when I am tired, and dad sometimes misses appointemnts ebcause he is rushing.
Being messy or untidy isn't like being left handed or good at football - it is soemthing that you can get better at and we want to help you.
Can you think of things that we could do that would help. Like lists of classes/homework. Or a quieter place to study.. or what .."

It meantthat we were on his side helping him, rather than standing in front of him telling him waht he was doing wrong
iyswim

[pagwatch]

do you like that that was a really messy and error filled post?

[Sarahlou8]

Thank you, that's exactly what I want to hear - how to help him rather than tell him what he's doing wrong.

We've started by saying that we are only 5 weeks into the new school year and he has every chance now to turn things around for himself.

I'll have another chat when he comes home. Any more??

[MenorcaFan]

Last year my DS (who was in Year 5 then) had exactly the same comments made about him at Parents Evening and we had a very tough talk to him afterwards.

At age 10, they know perfectly well if they are not trying hard enough, or not taking enough care.

The teacher says he is capable, you know he is capable - he knows he is as well.

I believe in tough love, sorry as that sounds as though it is not what you want to hear, but it has worked for my DS - you wouldn't believe the difference in the quality of his work during the last year.

I think sometimes you've just got to tell it how it is!

[brassband]

Is it just the presentation of the work he has a problem with? If so i wouldn't really worry if it's messy as long as its legible.