What is normal at this early stage?

[rebl]

My twins started reception on Monday, half days. Today they were both sent home with 3 words on cards which had a note with them asking us to read these with our child and encourage them to try and write them. The words were "in" "here" and "look".

DD - spends a casual 5 mins with the words and is able to recognise them in random order by the end. 3 hours later she gets them out when dh comes home and shows them to him and tells him the right word for each card. So clearly she's learnt them.

DS - Doesn't volunteer to get them out. Whilst he's playing with his trains I get them out and manage to adapt his game to include the words. So the train came to the station to pick up the word and drop it off at the envelope. He was very engaged in the game and was clearly enjoying it. But after 20mins he still couldn't even remember what 3 words we were playing with, let alone recognise them.

So whats normal? I seem to have 2 extremes and I don't know whats normal.

[DreamTeamGirl]

Both totally normal, but of course you know that

My DS didnt really know any words till maybe 4 weeks into reception when he learned, in 2 days, about 10 or 15 site words
He stll learns in fits and starts now

[NotAnotherBrick]

There isn't a normal! This is what I hate about school .

All children potty train at different ages, learn to walk at different ages, learn to talk at different ages. Why, when children go to school, do we suddenly expect them to learn everything else at exactly the same age!?

My DD1 learnt to read autonomously (as in, she's home educated, and required no actual 'teaching' from us) and was a fluent reader by the age of 5. My DD2 is a completely different kettle of fish and I don't expect her to learn for some years yet - she's 5.5 at the moment.

The problem with school is you can't learn the way they want you to learn after year 1-2 if you can't read, so they kind of force it onto children regardless of whether they're ready or not.

Sorry if this rant pisses people off, but it's helpful to know that the normal age chidlren learn to read naturally is actually anything between 3 and 9 years.

So your children are both normal - they're just different from eachother. Embrace their differences and work with them, as you are already doing

[suwoo]

Both I'd say. Both of them are in the ranges of normal for reception. They would follow what I saw with DD and what I would expect from DS.

[Hulababy]

Both are totoally normal at this stage.

[IndigoBell]

Does your DS know his alphabet? If he doesn't know his alphabet yet I'd be concerned about trying to teach him 'whole words' at this stage.

And I know an awful lot of teachers on this site would be concerned about teaching him 'whole words' (rather than phonics) at any stage.

[NoahAndTheWhale]

I am surprised that they are being sent home words to learn straight away. It, here and look seem a little odd for first words.

What reading scheme do they use? It feels like it uses those words, maybe in books that say "Look!" and have a picture to talk about. Surely it would be better to send the book home as well?

I would expect most schools would be doing some sort of phonics work - something like Jolly Phonics starts with the sounds s,a,t,p,i,n and be doing work based around those rather than sending home words to remember.

Both your children are being normal by the way

[nappyaddict]

My DS doesn't even know his alphabet. I wouldn't worry about it.

[egclark]

hi i can understand your dilemma! i work with reception class and would stress to you to try and not get in the habit of comparing the two children. it is hard i have 3 but all children learn and develop at different rates but invariably by the end of the school year they will both be at roughly the same stage. dont worry!!

[nappyaddict]

Is it common or rare for a child to not be able to read and write by the end of reception?

[cory]

Neither of mine could read and write at the end of Reception, though even at that age I knew dd was gifted, just from speaking to her: she is now in top sets in all subjects in secondary school and her reading is better than most of the undergraduates I teach. Ds (now Yr 6) does struggle more, but he is not illiterate.

Don't panic if they are not at the same stage at the end of they year. They may end up at the same stage after a few years, or they may not. People are different. But you can't necessarily see when they are 5 what they are going to be like at 25.

[IndigoBell]

If a child doesn't know their alphabet by the end of reception alarm bells should definitely start to ring.

But they don't need to be able to read or write very much to be withing the 'normal bell curve'

[welshandproud]

It really frustrates me when children so young are given words to learn/recognise that they have no hope of sounding out!
in/can/on much more suitable words! Anyway, I digress,this point in reception is obviously too early for some children to be given a task like this! One cap does not fit all at any stage! Your poor DS!

My DD didn't show any interest in word lists while in reception.But she did love stories and books of all types. I could have taught her to read but instead let her interest and love of books grow without any pressure to decode the text. She could 'read' many books to me in her own words using the picture clues and her vivid imagination.Low and behold by Christmas in Year 1 she was able to read simple chapter books on her own She is now almost 12 and reads by torchlight under the covers!

Please don't worry about your son. I know direct comparisons will be difficult to ignore but both your children are individuals and different sexes. Don't get me started on that one! He will get there in the end. I have an end of Aug DS and i'm already prepared for the fact that he may be in year 3 or 4 before he starts to show his full potential.

PS i think the idea of using the train to stimulate his interest is a fab one!

[nappyaddict]

What's the latest a child should not be able to read or write letters from the alphabet without alarm bells ringing?

[welshandproud]

Depending on level of input from school and emphasis they are placing on it I would normally be a little concerned by the end of reception if they didnt recognise some sounds.It would depend on whether there was support at home or whether English wasn't their first language but generally less than about 18 sounds and I'd make a referral for an assessment by school senco.How old is your DC nappyaddict. writing on the other hand is another matter. It takes longer to get formation correct. But i would expect a child to have a go at the letter shape once they recognise the sound.

[nappyaddict]

When you say 18 sounds is that just knowing the sound of a letter or a couple of letters put together like th, sh etc

[MrsGravy]

That sounds just like my 3 and 5 year old! DS who is 3 only needs to be told/shown things once and he retains the information. DD has to be told/shown again and again and again which I do find frustrating and puzzling. I have been reassured by the teacher this is perfectly normal.

Also agree with those who said using the train was a fab idea - I would never have thought of that!!

[welshandproud]

That would be individual sounds as they are easiest, some schools teach s,a,t,p,i,n as first group, more complex sounds like th/sh/ch/oo/ee come later. If a child knows around 18 sounds they can have a go at sounding out or building lots of simple words, eg, sat/on/fit/ten. Many children have confusion at first with p/d/b/g/9 as they are a very similar shape.Similarly with 2/3/5. Is your child's teacher concerned? all children develop at such different rates.

[kistigger]

My DS struggled in reception (August b'day) he really needed another year in nursery. He showed little interest at home in writing, drawing, reading, learning letters. By the end of reception he did know his phonetic alphabet, could read a little bit and was able to write a bit fairly neatly.

My DD (April b'day) on the other hand couldn't be more different. She has just stared reception, loves reading, writing, spelling, drawing. She could have done with starting school a year ago.

My DS may never be a huge reader but he loves handwriting where he can be a perfectionist. And he loves maps and history. DD is likely to always have her nose in book.

Children make it clear they have a personality of their own from the day they are born. We can only let them be free to do the things they like and encourage them to try the things they 'do not like'.

Your school sounds a bit heavy giving words before sounds. From memory, those words are some of the first words you need for the reading books, so I can understand their choice, but still very mean in the first couple of weeks! So unless the school makes a big fuss I wouldn't feel pressurized to push your DS to move any faster. He will learn it when he is ready. Plus the sooner school realize your children are two separate beings not a single unit, the better.

I heard once, can't remember where, that your child is ready to start writing when they can pour a drink into a cup out of a jug. For some reason the action of pouring is helpful for pencil control!