Example of 7yr old boy writing

(31 Posts)
houseofboys Wed 28-Jul-10 10:42:21

Is anyone willing to share their 7 yr olds writing? My DS got a 2b in sats this summer which I'm beginning to think was a bit generous. He's worked hard on letter formation and his writing is more even and neat than it used to be, though not joined up. He's been doing some free writing this summer which is great and I want to encourage. But he's just written a star wars 'book' and the spelling is so bad that I wondered whether this was usual at this age. He's an avid reader (a high 3 in that apparently). I haven't corrected spelling as want to praise him for doing writing in first place. He tends to remember full stops but forget capitals!

So here's a sample... 'the badys wantid a new sith lord but they counden find one. then Dath Sideus had a idere. he hid behind a carntn (curtain) in a dulling (duelling) room. Anking does dule (duel) well he thout. he coud be a sith lord. the next day Darth Sidyus cout Anking and dragt him away.'

ETC!

At school he did very well in spelling tests but he's forgotten words like could etc he got right at school. Also interested to see different spellings of same word in same paragraph. Be interested to see what other parents of 7yr olds/teachers thought of this - if its perfectly normal I'll relax!
thanks

reallytired Wed 28-Jul-10 10:57:06

My son spelling was just as interesting at the end of year 2. His spelling has improved dramatically in year 3.

In sats they assess a lot more than hand writing, spelling and punctuation. Things like a range of vocabulary and imagination are just as important. For example interesting adjectives and the ablity to construct a story.

The problem with putting too much emphasis on spelling is that it discourages children from using interesting words in their writing.

throckenholt Wed 28-Jul-10 11:03:27

I have a 9 year old with atrocious spelling, and two 7 year olds who are slightly better. I think spelling being erratic is typical of that age. Feel free to relax.

None of mine spontaneously write - so yours is ahead of mine there - I would encourage it - but not correct the spelling.

I read recently that getting the idea of writing as a way to communicate your ideas is the first step. Wanting to make it more readable for others (eg spelling and grammar ) is the next step. They have to see the need for it before they learn how to do it.

So maybe make a point of saying sometimes I can't make out what this says - get him to translate - then maybe he will realise he has to work a bit to get it more easily read by others.

Spelling tests I think don't help with long term memory - they need to have a better reason for long term correct spelling.

aegeansky Wed 28-Jul-10 15:04:46

Hello houseofboys. Here's what DS (7), levelled same as your DS in reading and writing, wrote recently:

'Hello my name is xx. I go to swiming lesons every day of the week. I can not do a stroke but I triy with a flote. I can blow bubels and put my head in the water.

My teacher for this week is Maria, she is kind and fun. I am on level xx. To get to level xx I need to swim to the half way marck with out puting my feet on the bottom of the pool.

My frends are on level xx. They yoost to have Maria.'

Does that help?

mrz Wed 28-Jul-10 15:40:58

Some writing from my Y2 class in April

Many, many years ago there was a kingdom, also a vilidge nearby. They were out working and they found a venimis dragon so they ran like the wind back to the vilidge that was on a steep hill until morning when they started putting two sheep and a tub of milk out for the dragon. But when they ran out of sheep and milk they had a rafle. First they drawed the kings dorter out so they sent her to the dragon. St George came trotting a long with a soot of armer on and a spiky dager. He slashed the dragon but the scails were in the way so he slashed it with his sord and killed the venimis dragon.

maizieD Wed 28-Jul-10 16:44:00

Aaah, mrz!

OT, but that takes me right back to my primary school, which was called St Georges. We used to re-enact that story every 2 years in a grand pageant, with a fearsome dragon (giant papier mache head and a long green cloth over several Y6 boys) grin

mrz Wed 28-Jul-10 16:48:21

I did type out some more examples but when I tried to post I got error messages hmm

you can see I had been teaching alternative ways of representing the /j/ sound

houseofboys Wed 28-Jul-10 16:59:25

Thanks for the examples - both seem more regular in terms of spelling, and more adventurous in vocab and grammar, than my son's. mrz does this example of his writing seem fairly normal then for this age, given its 'free writing' and he's a 2b?

mrz Wed 28-Jul-10 17:13:16

The example I managed to post from one of my 7 year old boys I levelled as a 2C but I'm a hard marker (according to my head). I use the criterion scale for levels

• Can spell some common monosyllabic words correctly (this point from Level 1 essential before considering level 2)

1. Can write with meaning in a series of simple sentences, (may not be correct in punctuation and structure at 2C) AF1
AF2
2. Can produce short sections of developed ideas (2C may be more like spoken than written language) AF3
3. Can use appropriate vocabulary, (should be coherent and mainly sensible) AF7
4. Can use simple phonic strategies (CVC words accurately, others mainly accurately) when trying to spell unknown words, (If ALL spelling is correct – tick the criteria) AF8
5. Can control use of ascenders/descenders and upper/lower case letters in handwriting, although shape and size may not always be consistent
6. Can use ANY connective, (may only ever be ‘and’) to join 2 simple sentences, thoughts, ideas etc AF4
7. Can communicate ideas and meaning confidently in a series of sentences (may not be accurate, but mainly ‘flows’) AF1
8. Can usually sustain narrative and non-narrative forms (can write at length, staying on task-close to a side of wide lined A4 at least.) AF3
9. Can provide enough detail to interest the reader, (e.g. is beginning to provide additional information or description, beyond a simple list) AF2
10. Can vary the structure of sentences to interest the reader, (manipulated sentences e.g.,questions, direct speech or opening with a subordinate clause) AF5
11. Can use interesting and ambitious words sometimes, (should be words not usually used by a child of that age, and not a technical word used in a taught context only e.g. ‘volcano’ or ‘evaporate’) AF7
12. Can match organisation to purpose, (e.g. showing awareness of structure of a letter, openings and end¬ings, importance of reader, organisational devices) AF2
AF3
13. Can usually use basic sentence punctuation (full stops followed by capital letters. May not be accurate for 2C) AF6
14. Can spell common monosyllabic words accurately AF8
15. Can use phonetically plausible strategies to spell or attempt to spell unknown polysyllabic words, (if all spelling is correct in a long enough piece to be secure evidence – tick the criteria) AF8
16. Can use connectives other than ‘and’ to join 2 or more simple sentences, thoughts, ideas etc (e.g. but, so, then.) AF6
17. Can make writing lively and interesting (e.g. consciously varies sentence length/uses punctuation to create effect etc.) AF1
18. Can link ideas and events, using strategies to create ‘flow’ (e.g. Last time, also, after, then, soon, at last, and another thing….) AF3
AF4
19. Can use adjectives and descriptive phrases for detail and emphasis (consciously selects the adjective for purpose, rather than using a familiar one e.g. a title – ‘Big Billy Goat Gruff’) AF1
AF2
20. Can usually structure basic sentences correctly, including capitals and full stops in a longer piece AF6
21. Can use accurate and consistent handwriting, (in print at minimum, can show consistent use of upper/lower case, ascenders/descenders, size and form)
22. Begins to show evidence of joining handwriting

and I would be looking for 13+ of the statements for a 2B
ignore the AF numbers as they are for Assessment for learning

houseofboys Wed 28-Jul-10 17:26:56

You are tough! His school work is better than his free writing so I can only assume thats why he made 2b, just not trying so much to be 'correct' at home. But if erratic is fairly normal, thats fine...

harragirl Wed 28-Jul-10 17:34:49

This is some from my ds (just finished yr1 and secure 2 with elements of high 2):-

Sir Richard

Sir Richard was a very confidant man with enormas muscles and diturmonation. He was 7 foot or 6 foot! Could you believe that! It would be very hard to get up a hill! He looked very hansom. His sword was heavy. His shied was twice the size Because it need to cover him. That's how it is twice the size. He was such a valieant man! I think he was a good knight because he was trained.

Spelling very odd, but I liked the apostrophes and exclamation marks!

mrz Wed 28-Jul-10 17:56:00

Many centarees ago there was a small villige on a green hill, near a blue sparkaling river, but the people of the villige couldnt drink the water because of a distubing dragon! The dragon lived in a caive. Everyday the people needed to get cilled if their name came out of a box. More days past and somefing bad happind. The princess and the kings name came out but stranger came he said "what is the mater?" then the princess and the king ecsplaind. When the dragon came he was in for a supprise! insted of him geting food he got a big stab in his hart. Every one was happy and they had a hyoodge party.

ColdComfortFarm Wed 28-Jul-10 18:04:19

I so much prefer hyoodge to huge. I shall adopt it as my own.

maizieD Wed 28-Jul-10 22:33:22

I am very impressed by 'ecsplained'!

This thread is making me go all misty eyed smile

mrz Thu 29-Jul-10 09:56:30

Unfortunately I've sent most of their writing home but just found this written at roughly the same time

Many centrees ago there were three witchis and a horrid man. His name was Macbeth. He wanted to be king so he rushed to the kings castll. He had some witch friends. they were petrifighing and discusting witchers. They told Macbeth what hapind in the fyoocher.
One day he fell in love with a wickid women and Macbeth stabbed him with a dager right in his hart. His wife couldnt get the blood off her hands.
The princes ran off so this made Macbeth very happy.

Sillyness Thu 29-Jul-10 12:26:22

Writing is marked with a seperate spelling test. Spellings account for max of 7 marks overall.

In his writing, they will have been looking for creativity which in some schools gets boiled down to VCOP for the children to remember.

V-vocabulary. Using interesting word choices.

C-conectives. Starting with and, but, so and moving onto although, meanwhile, never-the-less etc. to make sentences longer and more complex.

O-Openers. Using a variety of ways to start sentences. eg, First, then, next, suddenly, after a while. As they get older, they may start sentences with dialogue, or with an actioneg,'Running away from the man, he...'

P-punctuation. Must remeber capital letters and full stops. Then using question marks, exclamations, commas, speech marks etc.
As they are learing, your child may get marks for using sppech marks even if they are used slightly wrong, as it shows some awareness. Their target would then be to use them correctly from now on.

Hope this helps. x

Sillyness Thu 29-Jul-10 12:27:46

Gosh, I've just re-read that. Sorry for all the spelling mistakes (and on a spelling thread!)

aegeansky Thu 29-Jul-10 12:37:22

Sillyness, thank you. I'm a bit bemused by DS, who has a huge vocabulary. In fact it was noted by the parent of a child who is, famously, exceptionally advanced in literacy that my DS knows and uses in his speech words that even her DC does not.

However, he is nowhere near his reading level in his writing. He also fails to apply his vocab in his writing, although it peppers his speech quite happily. He rarely uses adjectives, even though he can tell you all about them and why they're interesting, and he uses a limited number of openers. This is head-scratching terrain for me.

mrz Thu 29-Jul-10 12:55:55

aegeansky in the school where I teach we found that our children failed to use interesting vocabulary in their writing instead staying with "safe" words they could spell and I think this is often the case for many children.
I'm happy as a teacher with a 6-7 year old writing ecsplained and discusting rather than "said" and "bad" ...

Sillyness Thu 29-Jul-10 13:03:07

Haha, your DS sounds amusing!

He probably just pulled it all out of the bag for the actual SAT's after being reminded about it all by his teacher!

As for reading, just keep him reading at home. Anything, even magazines (which are a skill to read). This will also eventually help his spelling as he will subconciously get used to seeing them spelt correctly!

I promise you! I taught yr3 this year and had children who I could tell their favourite author by reading their work. Especially Horrid Henry stories!!!
(Bear in mind I taught in an inner city London school with lots of children who had English as an additional language and were nowhere near government age-related targets!)

ElsieMc Thu 29-Jul-10 20:46:21

My DS scored a 2c in his SATS despite the teacher informing me he was in the top group. This was when I went to see her concerned about his reading and writing. It does seem a problem in general at the school, which is a small rural primary.

When I went to see the acting Head, he told me that in a class of approximately 20, next year YR 3, there will be 6-10 receiving extra help. DS needs extra help and a TA will be assisting.

Here is a sample of my DS's free writing:

Me and dad play football about after tiy tame. I love to be in net. After that dad is in net, but I allways win, but now I can't play football with dad enee more because he has gone to scotisand for a wice. but he is comng back on Sunday and fore now I am playing with Jon fore the momt.

I have been told he relies too much on group work.

Any teacher comments or do I worry too much?

Sillyness Thu 29-Jul-10 22:10:00

ElsieMC, you are worrying too much! He is absoluely fine for a child entering yr 3. If he were in my class, I would have no worries at all!

Plus, he's going to be in a small class with a TA. No worries!!!

IndigoBell Thu 29-Jul-10 22:24:18

ElsieMC - you have nothing to worry about. This is an example from my DD who has also just finished Year 2, and is working at a level 1b:

Miss twit feng a fromg, ros and mrb
hse wex in sib "hir is ur iscrem" "hm its hrd it "no it" its snune
The rhock be to egg its nom mad
ha ha ha
uoy wouo now to no I bot fogs vomt
She went in to The hams mub and rotos

bosch Thu 29-Jul-10 22:39:53

I think your ds writes really well and puts a lot of good ideas into his work.

I've just been through my ds2's work and found this from end of June

plastic Bag Football
The easiest bit was skrunching the newspapers. (lots of rubbing out here, looks like yoospapuse underneath!) The hardest bit was tiinge the String. We made it out of newspapers, shoping bags and sdring. When we had finished we tested them. and the hol reezun we did it was because the world cup is held in soufafrica and thay make thos (corrected from 'them'!) footballs. Thos footballs are grate because if the ball hits you harde it wont hert you.

BTW, my ds got 2b for reading and writing which I also suspect is a bit on the generous side. However, I'm not worried about him, I think he's enjoying school and there's plenty of time for him to catch up.

I also discovered in his literacy folder a piece of work titled 'same but different' where he's correctly labelled boys as having a penis and girls as having a clitoris and vagina. blush. I thought it was only a few months since he was asking me where my willy was. Do you think he grew up and I didn't notice?

susia Fri 30-Jul-10 00:20:46

my son who got a 2c (apparently nearly 2b) for his writing just wrote this;

mr james when hes a goornup (grown up). James was going for a job he went to find a job he looked arou but there was no job for him. he went on the Great Britain he landid on paakeey island and he play whith purots (pirates) and no one ells saw him agen. But he mist his hias (house) and pufoot came ofer to the ktha was him.

BertieBotts Fri 30-Jul-10 00:30:25

This is a story I wrote in year 2 - I was always considered to be "good" at spelling and I have always read loads and there are still loads of mistakes:

One day I was waiting at the train staitoin. Waiting for a train. But then the train came. It was an over-night train I slept on it. There was a bunk-bed and I slept on the top bunk. But then I had a firce night-mare about a burgalar and he stole Gamima Puddle duck and Piggo who always sleep with me. But it came true. Because the burgalar wanted some pilows. Because he had none. He broke a window with some silent-smashing powder. He came on some stolen rolerskates. the burgalar
alarm went off the train policeman herd it and he went to get him with some hand-cuffs! Ps. he caght the burgurlar by his belt. But the burgular shouted "LET ME GO" but the policeman put him in the train prison! (Part tree) and then he stayed there forever.

THE END

[Hilarious picture of a very tall, bald burglar crying in the train prison]

houseofboys Fri 30-Jul-10 16:55:56

Oh I love that story, esp the 'fierce nightmare'! I remember writing loads at his age and playing school with all my teddy bears and 'making' them write lots of stories so compared to my son I was writing constantly. No doubt girls still do this which probably goes some way to explaining difference btw boys and girls in writing attainment. Thanks for sharing the examples, its great to see what others DS's are getting up to

SaliMali1 Mon 02-Aug-10 17:10:09

MRZ do you use Pie Corbert?

mrz Mon 02-Aug-10 17:53:04

Yes I use Pie Corbett and Big Talk

SaliMali1 Mon 02-Aug-10 18:56:33

Big Talk?

mrz Mon 02-Aug-10 21:03:27

Ros Wilson Big Talk for Big Writing

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